Rusham is using SimilarWorlds.
Join SimilarWorlds today »

This profile may contain Adult content.

1

Rusham

M

New Zealand

Discussion, Private Chat, Friends, Advice, Help, Support, Stories, Learning, Look Around, Role Play

Message Favorite

10445 views · 177 followers · Joined: April 10, 2016 · Online: See Last Online »

Happy and caring by nature. I enjoy chatting with people with a sense of humor and open minds

Posts Photos Friends Forums Gifts Whiteboard

1-25 of 2788

Don’t say something in jest to a mafia man!

An Italian mafia man got in to a Mercedes-Benz model taxi. An Italian mafia man got in to a Mercedes-Benz model taxi As he was sitting in the back, he asked the driver, "Why is that hood ornament sticking out like that in mercs?" The driver answered...

The $6.99 Special

We went to breakfast at a restaurant Where the 'Seniors Special' was Two eggs, bacon, hash browns And toast for $6.99. 'Sounds good,' my wife said, 'But I don't want the eggs.' 'Then, I'll have to charge you $8.99 Because you're ordering a la...

WOMEN AND LOGIC

A couple came upon a wishing well. The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The husband decided to make a wish, too, but he leaned over too far, fell into the well, and drowned. The wife was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "It...

WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked...

CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct...

Dad takes son to school for his first day.

A man is driving his five-year-old son to school for his first day. Suddenly the boy shouts out "Daddy! Daddy! Look at those moo cows in that field." His father says "Hang on, you're a big boy now, you must use adult names. It's a cow, not a moo...

My Favorite Animal

Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken." She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed. My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite...

Good Morning Officer!

Five Dutchmen are crammed in an old Renault 4 and driving through Belgium when they get pulled over by a traffic cop. “Good morning, I guess you know why I pulled you guys over, don’t you?” “Well officer, I actually don’t. We couldn’t have been...

Two old ladies Dolly and Ruby were talking about their grandchildren. Dolly said, "Each year I send each of my grandchildren a card with a generous cheque inside. I never hear from them... never receive a thank you message. Ruby replies, "I too send...

Porridge for a long life

A tough old sheep farmer from Scotland gave some good advice to his grand daughter. He told her that the secret to a long life was to sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder onto her porridge every morning. The grand daughter followed this dictum religiously...

The Skull of St Patrick

A American businessman had just arrived to the Dublin airport as he was in town for an important meeting. As he was walking through the airport, he stumbled across a stall. Where an Irishman was selling Irish souvenirs. Amongst the various things for...

What side of the bed do you prefer to sleep on, if you look at the bed from the footboard?

Poll (20) See Poll Options

Whoops. I didn’t expect that ending!

Never question a drunk I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected: A half-gallon of 2% milk A carton of eggs A quart of orange juice A head of lettuce A 2 lb. Can of coffee A 1 lb. Package of bacon As I was unloading my items on...

Some will say, “Priceless.”

The light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection. The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn,...

Out on a Photo Safari

An old lady's poodle got lost during a photo safari... ..after chasing some butterflies and enjoying a frolic in the bushes. Not before long, he discovers realises he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a hungry-looking leopard heading rapidly...

Children, Don’t We Love Them.

POLICE # 1 While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, “Are you a cop?” “Yes,” I answered and continued writing the report. “My...

Oh ouch…………….

When I was married to my last wife we had a really big fight, my wife was screaming at me: "Leave!! Get out of this house!" she ordered. As I was walking out the door she yelled, "I hope you die a slow and painful death!" So I turned around and...

Queen Elizabeth and Indira Gandhi

Indian Prime Minister Indira Gandhi was once invited by Queen Elizabeth. Both of them were riding in the Queen's horse-driven carriage when one of the horses farted. Petrified and embarrassed by the horse's toot, the Queen apologizes to Indira...

A classic breakup letter I just found

My friend has a weird talent

He stands on a loaf of bread and when he throws a dart, he can hit the bullseye every time. He did it at a local talent competition once, and the judges were so impressed, they moved him up to an official talent league. For the competition, however,...

Rugby is their life

Two 90 year old men, Mike and Joe, have been friends all of their lives. When it's clear that Joe is dying, Mike visits him every day. One day Mike says, "Joe, we both loved rugby all our lives, and we played rugby on Saturdays together for so many...

I like puns and this one I thought was very clever

“I want to apologise to everyone for the bad puns” ~Noah Fence. 😑

There was a man who believed that he could cook the best meal ever existed in the history of kitchen culture, and he wanted to show his dish to the most talented an known chefs from all around the world He invited all the top chefs of the world that...

It’s wonderful being a senior

During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?" "Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the...

Two short jokes

Vladimir Putin walks down the corridor in his office and notices a painting on the wall of himself. He says: "So, my dear Vladimir Vladimirovich, what will happen if we lose the war?" "That's simple," says the painting, "they'll take me off and...

1-25 of 2788

Days Active

5 Yrs Active

Join Time

1st Week of SW

Posts

2500 Posts

Groups/Forums

250 Groups