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Rusham

New Zealand

Discussion, Private Chat, Friends, Advice, Help, Support, Stories, Learning, Look Around, Role Play

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11603 views · 182 followers · Joined: April 10, 2016 · Online: See Last Online »

Happy and caring. I enjoy chatting, humor, making friends and a love of disc golf

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Whoops…… Really.

“Do you really have to lick the knife?” She asked, her tone sharp and cutting. “Force of habit!” I said with a grin, wiping it theatrically. “Come on, lots of people do it.” She rolled her eyes, exasperated. Her eyes narrowed. “Yes,” she finally... See More »

Truly lovely thoughts

The first day of university, our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn’t already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady... See More »

Oh, to be 8 again!

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday. 'I'd like to be eight again', she replied, still looking in... See More »

Don’t Talk to the Parrot

Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called in a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, 'I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, Leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a cheque.' Oh,... See More »

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Can you add one of your own to these?

Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die? * his last battle Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? * at the bottom of the page Q3. River Ravi flows in which state? * liquid Q4. What is the main reason for divorce? * marriage... See More »

Senior Wedding Registry

Jacob, a spry 92, and his sweetheart Rebecca, a lively 89, are bubbling with excitement about their upcoming wedding in sunny Miami. As they stroll down the street, hand in hand, chatting about the big day, they pass a drugstore. Jacob’s eyes light u... See More »

One of my favourites.

You just have to appreciate this one. Young people forget that we old people had a career before we retired. Charley, a new retiree-greeter at Wal-Mart, just couldn't seem to get to work on time. Every day he was 5, 10, 15 minutes late. But he... See More »

Critical Thinking At Its Very Best!??

Woman: Do you drink beer? Man: Yes. Woman: How many beers a day? Man: Usually about 3. Woman: How much do you pay per beer? Man: $5.00 which includes a tip (This is where it gets scary!). Woman: And how long have you been drinking? Man: Oh,... See More »

Halloween……………

Dad buys his son a halloween costume Dad, can I take the price tag off now? It's really annoying.. No, keep it until we get home so we can really scare mom.

Amazon weather report

While preparing to build a highway deep in the Amazon rainforest, a group of engineers was surprised by an unexpected visitor—a local native. He approached them and calmly warned that heavy rain would arrive in two hours, urging them to take... See More »

A handful of 7 year old children were asked what they thought of beer. There were some interesting responses, but the last one is especially touching.

'I think beer must be good. My dad says the more beer he drinks the prettier my mum gets.' --Tim, 7 years old. 'Beer makes my dad sleepy and we get to watch what we want on television when he is asleep, so beer is nice.' --Melanie, 7 years... See More »

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Whoops. Funny

One night, I went into a piano bar to have a drink with friends. When I glanced at the pianist, something seemed off, but I couldn’t figure out what. Not wanting to stare, I looked again a few minutes later and realised what was wrong. I knew I... See More »

Shopping at Tiffany’s

A lady walks into Tiffany’s, looks around, spots a beautiful diamond necklace and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely at it, she unexpectedly farts. Very embarrassed she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed... See More »

What a great explanation

A young girl, who was writing a paper for school, came to her father and asked, “Dad, what is the difference between anger and exasperation?” The father replied, “It’s mostly a matter of degree. Let me show you what I mean.” With that, the father... See More »

Going to Hell for laughing

Three men find themselves in hell, confused and annoyed. “What did we do to deserve this?” they wonder aloud. "All we did was laugh!" Suddenly, Satan appears. "Oh, but you laughed at the wrong thing," he says. "However, there’s a way out. If you... See More »

Fathers and Sons

I was reading an article last night about fathers and sons And memories came flooding back of the time I took my son out for his first pint. Got him a Fosters ..... He didn't like it - I had it. Then I got him Carlsberg, he didn't like it so I... See More »

A very sad tale

A teacher is explaining biology to her third grade students. She says, "Human beings are the only creatures that stutter." A little girl raises her hand, saying, "I once had a kitty cat that stuttered." The teacher, knowing how precious some of these... See More »

A dinner date with a side of humour

A waiter walks up to a man and asks.. Waiter: "Sir, are you ready to order?" Man: "I am, but my wife is in the bathroom." Waiter: "Well do you know what she's having?" Man: "It's been 10 minutes so probably a number 2."

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Oh to be a pensioner

Three pensioners are sitting on a park bench, reminiscing about the trials of getting older. The first one sighs, “Ah, old age! I used to love reading the newspaper, but now I can't even make out the headlines! My eyes, my poor eyes…” The second... See More »

This post you may have read 10 years ago and you didn’t find it challenging but how about now?

A small neurological test: Only use your eyes! 1- Find the C in the table below! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... See More »

Theatre Seats For Seniors

An old man lay reclined across three seats in the movie theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the old man, "I'm sorry sir, but you're only allowed one seat." The old man mumbled something but didn't budge. The usher... See More »

One hundred dollars is one hundred dollars

Morris and his wife, Esther, went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, "Esther, I'd like to ride in that helicopter." Esther always replied, "I know, Morris, but that helicopter ride is one hundred dollars, and one... See More »

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Le man wisdom

An old man is sitting by a lake, fishing peacefully, when he suddenly hears a small voice shout, "Hey, you!" He looks around, confused, but sees no one. He shrugs and goes back to his fishing. A few minutes later, the voice calls again, "Hey, down... See More »

Are you a lateral thinker

A man who lives in a 30-story building decides to jump out of his window. He survives the fall with no injuries. How did that happen? Answer: He may live in a 30-story building, but he jumped out a first-floor window. Laura is restrained all... See More »

Delightful gems - truths

Did you know that the average person has an above-average number of legs? After all, most people have two legs, while a few have none. Did you know that if you shuffle a deck of cards, the resulting order has likely never existed before in the... See More »

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