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Rusham

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New Zealand

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11370 views · 180 followers · Joined: April 10, 2016 · Online: See Last Online »

Happy and caring by nature. I enjoy chatting with people with a sense of humor and open minds

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A blonde and a brunette, inherit the family ranch.

Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull from the stockyard in a far town so that they can breed their own stock. They only have $600...

A lady walks into a fancy jewellery store

She browses around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet, and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely she inadvertently breaks wind. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident...

An Irish Miracle

Murphy drops some buttered toast on the kitchen floor and it lands butter-side-up. He looks down in astonishment, for he knows that it's a law of nature of the universe that buttered toast always falls butter-down. So he rushes round to the...

A Little Bit of Irish

Reilly went to trial for armed robbery. The jury foreman came out and announced, 'Not guilty.' 'That's grand!' shouted Reilly. 'Does that mean I can keep the money?' An answer I can understand..... An American tourist asks an Irishman: "Why do...

ALWAYS ASK, NEVER ASSUME!!

His request approved, the Bulletin Newspaper Photographer quickly used his mobile phone to Call the Townsville airport to charter a flight. He was told a twin-engine plane Would be waiting for him at the airport. Arriving at the airfield, he...

I met a magical fairy yesterday

who said she would grant me one wish. "I wish to live forever," I said. "Sorry," said the fairy, "Immortality is the one and only wish that I'm not allowed to grant." "Fine," I said. "Then I want to die the day after Parliament is filled with...

I think, I'm going to lose my drivers license

and all just because of a stupid police officer... The conversation went like this, when I got pulled over in my car: Officer: "License and registration, please, I think you are drunk!" Me: "I assure you, I did not drink anything." Officer: "Ok,...

Two men were sitting next to each other

at the Murphy’s Pub in London. After awhile, one bloke looks at the other and says ” I can’t help but think, from listening to you, that you’re from Ireland?”. The other bloke responds proudly, “Yes, that I am!” The first one say, “So am I! And where...

A great comeback

JFK'S Secretary of State, Dean Rusk, was in France in the early 60's when DeGaulle decided to pull out of NATO. DeGaulle said he wanted all US military out of France as soon as possible. Rusk responded "Does that include those who are buried here?"...

Two medical students were walking along the street

when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart. He was stiff-legged and walking slowly. One student said to his friend: "I'm sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that. "No, I don't think so.....

The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were experiencing some difficulties at home, resulting in them giving each other the silent treatment. Realizing he needed his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight, the man opted not to break the...

Senior citizens are constantly being criticized for every conceivable deficiency of the modern world

Real or imaginary. We take responsibility for all we have done and do not blame others  HOWEVER, upon reflection, we would like to point out that it was NOT the senior citizens who took   The melody out of music,  The pride out of appearance,...

A 60-year-old billionaire marries a hot 25-year-old girl.

After the honeymoon, they throw a party celebrating their marriage. After a few drinks, the billionaire's friends want to know the secret of how he landed the 25-year-old hottie. 'It's simple,' the billionaire boasts. 'I faked my age.' 'Yes, but...

When I was in my 7th year at school,

I used to ask a lot of questions. One day, I asked my English Teacher, "Why do we ignore some letters in pronunciation, e.g., the letter H in words like 'Hour,' 'Honour,' etc.?" My English Teacher said, "We are not ignoring them; they're considered...

A teenage girl gives birth to twins

and puts them up for adoption... She never hears from them again except for the news that one baby was adopted by a Mexican couple, and the other was adopted by a couple from the Middle East. Years later she hires a private investigator to track...

A must read until the end

Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick’s Day. Mick, the bartender says, “You’ll not be drinking anymore tonight, Paddy” Paddy replies “OK Mick, I’ll be on my way then.” Paddy spins a...

A woman decides to go on a photo safari in Africa;

she takes her pet dachshund along for company. One day, the dachshund starts chasing butterflies, and before long, the little dog discovers it’s lost. Suddenly, the dog sees a hungry leopard bounding toward it. The dachshund thinks, “I’m in deep...

An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane,

and he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk...

Did you stockpile toilet rolls at the beginning of COVID?

Poll (21) See Poll Options

Have you any left?

An old lady sits on her front porch, rocking away the last days of her long life...

...when all of a sudden, a fairy godmother appears and informs her that she will be granted three wishes. ''Well, now,'' says the old lady, ''I guess I would like to be really rich.'' *** POOF *** Her rocking chair turns to solid gold. ''And, gee,...

Little Johnny strikes again

A preacher was making his rounds to his parishioners on a bicycle when he came upon little Johnny trying to sell a lawn mower. "How much do you want for the mower?" asked the preacher. "I just want enough money to go out and buy me a bicycle," said...

PART 2 For those who love the philosophy of ambiguity, as well as the idiosyncrasies of English:

1. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? 2. If the police arrest a mute, do they tell him he has the right to remain 3. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? 4. If the police arrest a mute, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? 5. Why do...

Paddy is with Custom Officers

Paddy returned from his American holiday with a unique haul slung over his shoulders: two hefty sacks. The Customs officer, intrigued, inquired about their contents. "Mobile phones," Paddy declared. Skepticism clouded the officer's face, demanding...

I Just Read This on Australia

Serious trouble for Australia True, Very True We are in trouble... The population of this country is 24 million. 8 million are retired. That leaves 16 million to do the work. There are 8.5 million in school. Which leaves 7.5...

I can’t think of a meaningful title

A large jet plane crashed in an isolated country farming area. Panic-stricken, the local police inspector mobilized and descended on the farm in force. By the time they got there, the aircraft was totally destroyed, with only a burned hull left...

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