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BadPam
56-60, F
United States
Days Active
6 Mths Active
Join Time
1st Week of SW
Stories
100 Stories
Comments
500 Comments
I'm a pale-skinned redhead who stands 5' 2" and wears skirts a lot.
I Am Roman Catholic
MARY MAGDALENE—THE UNOFFICIAL PROSTITUTE Poor Mary of Magdala! For more than fifteen hundred years she has been regarded by Christianity as the resident loose woman of the New Testament. Nearly every movie about the Life of Christ, from Cecil B. ...
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56-60, F
20 replies
29 views
Jan 7, 2017
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I Enjoy Food and Cooking
EATING LIKE JESUS “Scripture has it, 'Not by bread alone shall man live.'”--Luke 4:6 (Jesus to Satan). Well, Jesus was right about that, because in The Bible there are many references to what He ate, and it was a lot more than bread. It...
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56-60, F
8 replies
22 views
Jan 3, 2017
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I Love Christmas
AN EMOTIONAL HYMN When I was in high school I sang in the church choir. Of course the songs we sang were religious in naure, and when Christmas time rolled around the hymns were selected to emphasize the season. One of my favorites was O Magnum Myst...
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56-60, F
12 replies
16 views
Dec 28, 2016
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How Do You Pronounce Pall Mall Cigarettes?
I was watching old commercials from the Fifties, and they all pronounced it as "Pell Mell." When I worked in a department store customers always said, "Gimme a Paul Maul." When I went to England thy pronounced it "Pal Mal....
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56-60, F
14 replies
34 views
Dec 20, 2016
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Miscellaneous
I Like Jokes
Give It the Gas! Three guys were sitting at a table in a restaurant, involved in a heated argument. "It's "W-O-O-M!" declared one. "No! No!" yelled another. "It's W-H-O-O-M!" The third declared, "You...
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56-60, F
9 replies
41 views
Dec 8, 2016
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I Love Christmas
MERRY XMAS! Many people take exception to the above writing of “Merry Christmas.” They complain that “You're X-ing out Christ!” and “Keep Christ in Christmas!” Well, we are keeping Christ in Christmas, and here's how. The Greek word for Ch...
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56-60, F
7 replies
15 views
Dec 7, 2016
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I Like Jokes
BLESSINGS ON YOU! Two guys are sitting in a local bar, drinking their beer and having a nice chat, when suddenly one of them spots a stranger sitting alone and nursing a bottle of beer at a table in the far corner of the tavern. "Hey, look over ...
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56-60, F
4 replies
38 views
Dec 3, 2016
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I Enjoy Food and Cooking
TURKEY IN THE STRAW, TURKEY IN THE BAG! This is probably the easiest way to cook a turkey. It is basically the same way Mark Twain's cook prepared it for the Clemens family. You will need: one turkey, fresh or thawed, between 12 and 14 pound...
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56-60, F
11 replies
14 views
Nov 27, 2016
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I Dislike Plagiarism
"YOU DIDN'T WRITE THIS!" Those of you who have read my stories may have noticed that I have a decent command of the English language. I owe much of my ability to the intensified grammar and writing classes I studied while in grade scho...
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56-60, F
1 reply
42 views
Nov 3, 2016
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I Am Roman Catholic
THE INQUISITION (What a Show!) I’ve noticed that many people, especially those who want to attack the Catholic Church, always bring up The Inquisition as an example of the Church’s barbarity. There are two things wrong with this way of thinking: ...
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56-60, F
49 replies
139 views
Oct 19, 2016
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I Love Christmas
The Animals Talk At Christmas There is an old legend which states that on the night Jesus was born the animals in the stable were able to talk. The legend continues that they could only talk at midnight, after which time they go back to making animal...
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56-60, F
2 replies
9 views
Oct 6, 2016
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I Like Jokes
FIDO, SPEAK! A guy walks into a bar together with his dog, sits down at the bar and orders a drink. After consuming several shots he gets a bill from the bartender. "Sorry," says the guy, "I have no money. But I'm willing to perfo...
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56-60, F
3 replies
62 views
Sep 30, 2016
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I Enjoy Food and Cooking
FISH TACOS A few days ago I went shopping with my daughter Jessica, who announced that she wanted me to buy ingredients for fish tacos as served at Long John Silver's fast food. "Well," I said, "what's in it? I can't ...
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56-60, F
7 replies
40 views
Sep 25, 2016
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I Hate Annoying People
THERE'S ONE AT EVERY PARTY! When I was about 15 my Mom decided to throw a New Year's Eve party for some of her friends from the hospital where she worked as a nurse. It was basically a small gathering, maybe ten people, plus myself and my ...
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56-60, F
3 replies
47 views
Sep 23, 2016
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I Enjoy Food and Cooking
MIDDLE EAST HUMMUS (الحمص) Hummus is one of my favorite healthy foods. Lately it appears to be very trendy, but I've been preparing it and eating it for years. I know there are many different flavors of store-bought hummus out there, but I prefe...
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56-60, F
9 replies
23 views
Sep 20, 2016
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I Like Jokes
CHICKEN BUTT This amusing anecdote is attributed to Moe Howard, "Moe" of The Three Stooges. Back in the 1930's Moe was having dinner at a restaurant with his friend Jack Walsh, a fellow actor who was doing a show with Moe. For his din...
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56-60, F
9 replies
26 views
Sep 15, 2016
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I Like Jokes
YAARR, MATIES! One Halloween evening a woman opened the front door at the sound of the doorbell. Standing there, Trick or Treat bag in hand, was a little boy dressed as a pirate. He had an eye patch, a little toy cutlass, and on his head a tricorn ha...
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56-60, F
5 replies
16 views
Sep 14, 2016
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I Like Jokes
COME TO TEXAS! A New York businessman and his partner were looking to relocate their business, so the businessman sent his partner to Texas in order to scope things out for a possible relocation site. It so happened that a young well-dressed woman wa...
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56-60, F
3 replies
25 views
Sep 7, 2016
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I Like Jokes
Why We Can't Understand the English During a trip to England an American and an Englishman struck up a conversation. "Are you enjoying your stay?" asked the Englishman. "Oh yes!" said the American. "I just made a visit ...
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56-60, F
0 replies
33 views
Sep 7, 2016
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I Have Strange Dreams
GETTING MY GOAT Last night I dreamed I was shopping in a huge supermarket. It reminded me of Harrod's in London. The butcher shop was vast, with counters and refrigerated display cases lining the four walls, so there was a large tiled open space...
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56-60, F
5 replies
28 views
Sep 7, 2016
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