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BadPam
56-60, F
United States
Days Active
6 Mths Active
Join Time
1st Week of SW
Stories
100 Stories
Comments
500 Comments
I'm a pale-skinned redhead who stands 5' 2" and wears skirts a lot.
I Love Christmas
MERRY XMAS! Many people take exception to the above writing of “Merry Christmas.” They complain that “You're X-ing out Christ!” and “Keep Christ in Christmas!” Well, we are keeping Christ in Christmas, and here's how. The Greek word for Ch...
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56-60, F
4 replies
9 views
10 hrs ago
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I Like Jokes
BLESSINGS ON YOU! Two guys are sitting in a local bar, drinking their beer and having a nice chat, when suddenly one of them spots a stranger sitting alone and nursing a bottle of beer at a table in the far corner of the tavern. "Hey, look over ...
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56-60, F
4 replies
32 views
4 days ago
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I Enjoy Food and Cooking
TURKEY IN THE STRAW, TURKEY IN THE BAG! This is probably the easiest way to cook a turkey. It is basically the same way Mark Twain's cook prepared it for the Clemens family. You will need: one turkey, fresh or thawed, between 12 and 14 pound...
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56-60, F
11 replies
11 views
1 week ago
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I Dislike Plagiarism
"YOU DIDN'T WRITE THIS!" Those of you who have read my stories may have noticed that I have a decent command of the English language. I owe much of my ability to the intensified grammar and writing classes I studied while in grade scho...
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56-60, F
1 reply
40 views
1 mth ago
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I Am Roman Catholic
THE INQUISITION (What a Show!) I’ve noticed that many people, especially those who want to attack the Catholic Church, always bring up The Inquisition as an example of the Church’s barbarity. There are two things wrong with this way of thinking: ...
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56-60, F
39 replies
118 views
1 mth ago
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I Love Christmas
The Animals Talk At Christmas There is an old legend which states that on the night Jesus was born the animals in the stable were able to talk. The legend continues that they could only talk at midnight, after which time they go back to making animal...
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56-60, F
2 replies
8 views
2 mths ago
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I Like Jokes
FIDO, SPEAK! A guy walks into a bar together with his dog, sits down at the bar and orders a drink. After consuming several shots he gets a bill from the bartender. "Sorry," says the guy, "I have no money. But I'm willing to perfo...
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56-60, F
3 replies
61 views
2 mths ago
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I Enjoy Food and Cooking
FISH TACOS A few days ago I went shopping with my daughter Jessica, who announced that she wanted me to buy ingredients for fish tacos as served at Long John Silver's fast food. "Well," I said, "what's in it? I can't ...
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56-60, F
7 replies
40 views
2 mths ago
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I Hate Annoying People
THERE'S ONE AT EVERY PARTY! When I was about 15 my Mom decided to throw a New Year's Eve party for some of her friends from the hospital where she worked as a nurse. It was basically a small gathering, maybe ten people, plus myself and my ...
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56-60, F
3 replies
45 views
2 mths ago
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I Enjoy Food and Cooking
MIDDLE EAST HUMMUS (الحمص) Hummus is one of my favorite healthy foods. Lately it appears to be very trendy, but I've been preparing it and eating it for years. I know there are many different flavors of store-bought hummus out there, but I prefe...
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56-60, F
9 replies
23 views
2 mths ago
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I Like Jokes
CHICKEN BUTT This amusing anecdote is attributed to Moe Howard, "Moe" of The Three Stooges. Back in the 1930's Moe was having dinner at a restaurant with his friend Jack Walsh, a fellow actor who was doing a show with Moe. For his din...
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56-60, F
9 replies
26 views
2 mths ago
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I Like Jokes
YAARR, MATIES! One Halloween evening a woman opened the front door at the sound of the doorbell. Standing there, Trick or Treat bag in hand, was a little boy dressed as a pirate. He had an eye patch, a little toy cutlass, and on his head a tricorn ha...
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56-60, F
5 replies
16 views
2 mths ago
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I Like Jokes
COME TO TEXAS! A New York businessman and his partner were looking to relocate their business, so the businessman sent his partner to Texas in order to scope things out for a possible relocation site. It so happened that a young well-dressed woman wa...
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56-60, F
3 replies
24 views
3 mths ago
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I Like Jokes
Why We Can't Understand the English During a trip to England an American and an Englishman struck up a conversation. "Are you enjoying your stay?" asked the Englishman. "Oh yes!" said the American. "I just made a visit ...
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56-60, F
0 replies
32 views
3 mths ago
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I Have Strange Dreams
GETTING MY GOAT Last night I dreamed I was shopping in a huge supermarket. It reminded me of Harrod's in London. The butcher shop was vast, with counters and refrigerated display cases lining the four walls, so there was a large tiled open space...
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56-60, F
5 replies
28 views
3 mths ago
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I Have Strange Dreams
The Big City Hotel Okay, I must admit this dream was a little weird, and I don't know what to make of it. However, it was very vivid and real, and soon after I woke up I wrote it down before I forgot the details. In the dream I was driving to Ne...
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56-60, F
3 replies
26 views
3 mths ago
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I Have Strange Dreams
A Really Entertaining Dream Dreams are usually forgotten, but some linger in the memory for life. This dream, from the early morning hours of November 19, 1998, was so exciting, so adventuresome, and at times scary, that when I woke up I decided to w...
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56-60, F
0 replies
22 views
3 mths ago
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I Love History
THE FART THAT KILLED THOUSANDS! The following story is true. It can be found in the Works of Flavius Josephus, specifically in The Second Jewish War. Jerusalem has always been a city of unrest, but never more so than under the Roman occupation in t...
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56-60, F
0 replies
25 views
3 mths ago
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I Like the Zoo
The Monkey's Revenge! When my husband and I were first married he brought me down to visit his relatives in Brooklyn, NY. While we were there he took me to one of his favorite places, Prospect Park Zoo. The zoo is a very old one and many of ...
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56-60, F
5 replies
37 views
3 mths ago
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I Am Roman Catholic
THE MEANING OF 666 “...for it is a number that stands for a certain man. The man's number is six hundred sixty-six.” --Revelations 13:18. How did the Bible come up with a number to represent the name of The Beast? In the same chapter the Apos...
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56-60, F
22 replies
50 views
3 mths ago
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