Sometimes I think that the reason I don't end up with a nice guy is that it's just so alien to me

Well well well .. I used to say that to myself a lot. I don't think anymore that that's true for me. I can be very caring and I can receive care.

I've yet to meet the flawless person. So even the kindest of people, needs attention and to be slightest protective towards and not give it all at once, take things slow, and keep the benefit of the doubt. That doesn't mean there's no trust or unconditional love, it means that human is another animal, making mistakes, having urges, desires, etc..

I think unless a sincere effort is made to break a pattern, people tend to live what they know. Plus in your case I’d imagine that growing up as you did, your self worth and self esteem took a hit which would likely complicate matters.

Totally tbh. I find it really hard to get close to people. It feels really really awkward to compliment my girlf now, it seemed to be easier when we weren’t dating. I don’t know whether it’s ‘there’s more to lose now’ or something. I really like SW as I feel I can be more honest and open, in real life, I put walls up and have created a person that tries to be much cooler than I really am.

There are a lot of people out there who don't really understand what love is or should feel like because they've only ever experienced toxic love. If the expectation of love is that you'll die for the person one minute and die because of them the next then that's the wrong kind of love. Real, meaningful love is stable and consistent.

Absolutely can relate. I never liked being a "nice" guy - most do not, but I did like being a good man. There is a huge difference and usually once a woman gets in her mid to upper 20s, usually they can appreciate a good man.

It's different for me. I only ever had something to do with nice, gentle and cautious guys but I don't get anywhere further because either I'm not attracted enough or there's some other obstacle. I'd say I'm weird in my specific way. It's hard to let anyone close to me because of the inconsistency in my feelings.

Totally valid and well said. People like to act like the victim when they say they can’t find a “good” partner.

I think that it’s already been proven that people say things they want, publicly or out loud. But then when it comes to finding things for themselves they generally seek out the opposite of what they say they want.

It all boils down to psychology. The logical approach when someone is speaking out what they want is usually far different than what actually captures a persons interest, and fuels them with the soul felt itch and longing they have inside them.

A person who is genuinely interested in another person is usually rejected because people enjoy a chase. They enjoy “earning” the attention they get from someone it is more difficult to attain it from. When it is too easy to gain support, care, affection, or attention from someone. They regard it as less valuable, since it comes in such abundance. Like 1,000 Pennie’s to a single dollar. Most will pick the dollar out of convenience, even if the totality of the Pennie’s is worth far more…

I know what you mean.

I feel this way when I'm with other christian people, like I'm too jaded to even understand the world you live in 😬 But for women, I do like nice girls a lot.

I think i understand you. When i meet a green flag guy i suddenly feel like a red flag.

Sad but true, love. You nailed it.

Absolutely

We're drawn to familiarity and find strange comfort in it even when it's toxic