Sometimes I think that the reason I don't end up with a nice guy is that it's just so alien to me

When you didn't grow up with it, you feel out of place in the presence of a truly caring person. Like they are on a level that I don't belong at with them. I'm not saying that I'm a mean person, I genuinely love and care for people around me. But there's still this glass wall between giving that out and receiving it for myself.

Can anyone relate to this?

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AuRevoir · 36-40, M

I think that it’s already been proven that people say things they want, publicly or out loud. But then when it comes to finding things for themselves they generally seek out the opposite of what they say they want.

It all boils down to psychology. The logical approach when someone is speaking out what they want is usually far different than what actually captures a persons interest, and fuels them with the soul felt itch and longing they have inside them.

A person who is genuinely interested in another person is usually rejected because people enjoy a chase. They enjoy “earning” the attention they get from someone it is more difficult to attain it from. When it is too easy to gain support, care, affection, or attention from someone. They regard it as less valuable, since it comes in such abundance. Like 1,000 Pennie’s to a single dollar. Most will pick the dollar out of convenience, even if the totality of the Pennie’s is worth far more…

Kuronekko · 41-45, F

@AuRevoir human brains are so annoying to navigate.

AuRevoir · 36-40, M

@Kuronekko I’ve studied enough to it to realize that we are led astray by multiple desires. The heart wants one thing, then the brain another, and then biology a third.

A good example of this is dieting. Your desire in your heart will want to lose the weight, mostly as fast as possible. Logically your brain knows losing weight quickly is illogical and that slow and steady wins the race. While your body will simply crave the foods that don’t even lead to the results you wish.

We get torn in 3 different directions all at the same time. And life is just that constant cycle of fighting it out along the way.

Kuronekko · 41-45, F

@AuRevoir it certainly is. Despite studying and knowing stuff about how it all works, its still really hard to act accordingly.