if you're a man, how can you hide 'desperation'

desperation for the opposite sex? especially if you're a solitary male, had flings in your youth, but have never had a long term girlfriend due to mental problems and are now in your late 40s.

what can you do? i know desperation frightens women off and is not attractive so how do you hide it?

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Penny · 46-50, F Best Comment

just be honest. dont be afraid to be yourself and speak your truth. if you cant be yourself then what kind of relationship would you have anyway? women are used to guys being super horny so i wouldnt worry about it.

eta- be honest but try to keep details to a minimum unless asked specifically and dont try to make yourself look bad

durinsBane1983 · 46-50, M

@Penny thanks for your tips.

Perry1968 · M

If you meet someone in the right circumstances then its best to keep it to small talk at first. Dont just throw your whole life out there. Find out their interests if you can and you.ll kind of know just by that alone if its a person for you. Visa versa too. You.ll be surprised how many people struggle. Sometimes you may well attract similar. I have had lots of GFs in my youth and married for 25 years.

durinsBane1983 · 46-50, M

@Perry1968 thanks for answering mate.

PaisleyHeart · F

First thought?…. Be yourself.
In the initial dates with someone, just enjoy their company. Listen, offer a light response if you want.
Go places that you both can talk about what you’re seeing—maybe museums, art, whatever.
A little time and then you can share, slowly—your deeper feelings.
Actually, not much different than good ole fashioned dating ;0)

durinsBane1983 · 46-50, M

@PaisleyHeart thanks for answering and help.

4meAndyou · F

Take acting classes. I think being instructed in acting would help you in your whole life, in general. When you go out, for example, you could ACT as though you were a friendly person.

If you meet a woman you like, you could ACT as though you meet nice women every day and it's no big deal.

durinsBane1983 · 46-50, M

@4meAndyou thanks a lot for your tips, it isn't easy but i can only try out things.

GerOttman · 70-79, M

if you live in or near an area where prostitution is legal, you might consider seeking out some "coaching" to help you work through your anxiety.

durinsBane1983 · 46-50, M

@GerOttman personally i would never stoop that low, i am a christian and don't believe in prostitution.

GerOttman · 70-79, M

@durinsBane1983 Well first, most of the women in that line of work are just as human as you or i, just doing what is needed to get by. I don't personally see that there's a lot of stooping involved.

Second, if carnal knowledge outside of wedlock is offensive to you, don't do that! She won't mind... Just work on your issues with someone who has some, experience! You're a clever lad, i bet you could figure something out.

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