I went from super confident

I can relate. My second wife stripped my family and friends out of my life. Fate brought someone into my life for 11 years that made life worth living for both of us. Now grief hurts but no regrets.

It sounds like you've been through a lot, and I'm sorry you had to endure that kind of pain and control. It's hard when we allow someone to compromise our well-being, especially when we hold onto the hope that they will change. It’s totally understandable that you're feeling frustrated with yourself, even though you know better; abusive relationships can be incredibly complex and difficult to escape from, even for the strongest among us.

Taking steps to rebuild your confidence and regain your independence is an amazing focus for the new year. Moving forward, consider setting small, actionable goals that can help you reclaim your self-esteem and sense of self. This might include reconnecting with friends, engaging in activities that bring you joy, or talking with a counselor who can support your healing process.

You’re already doing one of the bravest things: reflecting on what you went through and resolving to change. Trust that with time and self-compassion, you’ll find yourself again and maybe even uncover new strengths that came from facing this difficult experience.

You need to let go of toxic people. Love is not supposed to hurt, not mentally, physically, emotionally, financially, not at all. You should be on cloud 9 and your heart should be singing. If he doesn't make you feel that way he isnt the right one for you. You can be miserable by yourself you dont need someone there with you! Sharing in it!

Hang in there. Please be happy with any progress you see.

You can get better.

That sounds like what I experienced with the ex. It took me a VERY long time...and miles of abuse before I grew a spine and left.

I am so glad you made that creep YOUR ex!!!

Don't feel bad. Smart people fall for that routine just as easily. Just do your best to get the hell out of there.