I went from super confident

And having friends to being isolated by my ex last year.

I feel bad because I know better.
I let this person get away with so much.
Gaslighting, controlling, abuse of all kinds.
Just kept going thinking they have a good side they will eventually feel more secure.

But at the cost of my own self esteem.

I want to get better again. I want to be myself again.
Hopefully next year is a fresh start for me.

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FrogManSometimesLooksBothWays · M

It sounds like you've been through a lot, and I'm sorry you had to endure that kind of pain and control. It's hard when we allow someone to compromise our well-being, especially when we hold onto the hope that they will change. It’s totally understandable that you're feeling frustrated with yourself, even though you know better; abusive relationships can be incredibly complex and difficult to escape from, even for the strongest among us.

Taking steps to rebuild your confidence and regain your independence is an amazing focus for the new year. Moving forward, consider setting small, actionable goals that can help you reclaim your self-esteem and sense of self. This might include reconnecting with friends, engaging in activities that bring you joy, or talking with a counselor who can support your healing process.

You’re already doing one of the bravest things: reflecting on what you went through and resolving to change. Trust that with time and self-compassion, you’ll find yourself again and maybe even uncover new strengths that came from facing this difficult experience.