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Showering and eating helped with the sadness 😌

I still don't know where to go from here though, today or more long term. Something is missing from my life, but I don't know what. Every time I encounter something that feels like it might be fulfilling, it quickly turns into disappointment.

Whenever I think of a new hobby, I either run into complications that make it more frustrating than fun, or it gets boring after a few days. When I see a new message in my inbox here, people tend to log out after 5 minutes and/or after a while we just start to repeat the same topics.

Anything that made me satisfied in the past no longer does, so I don't know what to look for or work towards, which makes me feel rather hopeless and powerless. 😕
jperez20000 · 41-45, M
This is my story. After I quit my job recently, a month has passed and I noted I was giving too much time of my life to a company, became a workaholic, and noted that I didn't took time to enjoy the things that I liked. Give a company 40 hours of our life a week is enough, and even less they deserve. We need time also to do our errands and things that we must do as "responsible adults", we need to manage that responsible adult time and simplify that time. I noted that I had to take Vacations, not 1 or 4 days, I mean a couple of weeks, specially if you don't take vacations in several years. All this accumulated "stuff" affected me to the point that I wasn't been able to truly enjoy the things that I loved. I don't mean that we should quit our jobs, but definitely we must conquer and set apart the TIME that we deserve. It took me a complete month to relax, and look back to my current life and say: Now that I rested correctly, and have a better use of my time, I can truly enjoy vacations and the things that I love.
Penny · 46-50, F
mayb eits hormonal or you have a legitimate chemical imbalance in your brain making you depressed. have you been eating well and getting regular exercise/sleep? getting enough sun and vitamins?
@Penny well, sun has been a bit tricky. The weather changed drastically, which definitely didn't help.
Penny · 46-50, F
@NerdyPotato "Reduced sunlight can cause a drop in serotonin that may trigger depression. Melatonin levels. The change in season can disrupt the balance of the body's level of melatonin, which plays a role in sleep patterns and mood". - googles answer to " why does not enough sun make you depressed" - maybe try some melatonin gummies before bed?
@Penny I'll see if I can find some tomorrow. Thanks for the tip!
Sapio · 51-55, M
Have you considered writing as a hobby? Or even just journaling? It might help you narrow down the big picture.
@Sapio yeah, I usually write a lot on SW, though I only post if I reach some kind of conclusion. But writing and deleting helps to make some progress in my thought processes too. And I've started noting down three positive things every day at the advice of my therapist too.
Tamara68 · 56-60, F
I can relate to that. When times are difficult or when I feel like nothing makes sense, it is hard to believe that it is possible to feel better. For me it helps to tell myself to just keep going on and it will get better. I have hobbies and listen to a lot of audio books. I try to go outdoors as much as possible. I eat healthy and notice that I feel better since I quit eating sugar. I learn a language on Duoling and that gives me little boosts of accomplishment. Try to think of anything that you enjoy and do as much of that as you can.
greensnacks · 31-35, F
Seems that you are depressed or highly distressed and in a transitional period.
@greensnacks yep, pretty much... I've been diagnosed with that before, but doing pretty well for a while. Today seems to be a decline, but I'll be fine once I find something to be passionate about again.
greensnacks · 31-35, F
@NerdyPotato I get that. Hopefully you have therapist that can help you
@greensnacks I do have a behavioral therapist, but she isn't much help so far. And psychologists have an 8 month waiting list. But I've been through this on my own before, so I'm sure I'll manage this time as well. It's just annoying when it happens.
step out of your comfort zone

for example
go outside and run around your house until you can't stand it

your point of assembly will shift

seriously
Notsimilarreally · 31-35, F
I know what it's like to feel like something's missing, but not sure what. Hope you figure it out eventually. If not though, you aren't alone in that.
.Showering and eating helped with the sadness 😌
- i think this is a good indication of what you may need:
Self care.

And yes, i know its bloody hard and mentally painful to do self care.

But lets look at expanding that list.
Showering
Eating - adding nutrition.
Grooming
Stretching
Meditation
Yoga
Walking
Gratitude writting or thinking
Organizing your environment....and so forth.

Maybe structure your day - start with one day a week and see if you can work towards 2, and then more, (still keep a few days off to recover.

Growth is painful . Even if its good growth .
Growth is loss, we have to throw out familiar comfortable old things to allow for the new ones .....its why its hard .

Its why its best done in small steps...slowly.

The thing is - if we go thru the pain of the hard stuff......afterwards we reap the benefits.

Life IS yin and yang, pain and pleasure, hard and easy.

You cant have one without the price of the other ....its just the way it is.


So what im saying is.....do something hard and painful for yourself. Even if its for only 5 minutes ...then aim for 10, 20....half an hour.

I can guarantee that you will feel better afterwards.... long-term good.


Warning - its a slow process. But you already know this ....youve already been setting the ground work to get where you are now.

Just keep that up. Move the benchmarks a little higher 💚💜

You have already come so far 🤗
@OogieBoogie thank you. I've already started a gratitude journal and that helps a little in itself, and to make some small steps to have something to write down. But it is indeed a slow process that's going to take a lot of time.
@NerdyPotato it will take a lot of time....years probably.

Im doing the same thing. Slowly working towards a better me: life, thoughts, health, home....blah, blah, blah .
Its been 4 years of up, down, steam ahead, crash and burn, get up again....wash, rinse, repeat 😂

But i have noticed, that every few months, maybe 3 - 6....i awaken to the fact that something is new, something has changed.
Sometimes i don't know what it is, but life seems a little better..... easier.

And i am now thinking, after all these years.... that it doesn't end. There is no end goal , no finish line to self improvement.

You create the habit......and keep it for life.
Beautifullyderanged · 36-40, F
@NerdyPotato that, combined with waiting mode, which is where you cant get anything done because your distracted by something you know is coming like a drs appointment or a test, causing anxiety, impatience and a feeling of being overwhelmed, is me everyday
@Beautifullyderanged that sounds familiar as well...
Beautifullyderanged · 36-40, F
@NerdyPotato yeah definitely not fun. Sometimes its caused by your cortisol levels being out of wack, or sometimes depression or anxiety.
LordShadowfire · 46-50, M
The thing I learned a long time ago is this. You're not objectively any different because you have a new hobby or a new toy. That won't make you happy. It distracts you for a while from the sadness, but the sadness remains.

What you need is to work through and find the source of your sadness. The source of the depression. Chances are, it's some internal dialogue that you haven't questioned in a long time.
@LordShadowfire I've checked that out before, and again now. The only thing somewhat within reach is a course on business presentations. 😒
LordShadowfire · 46-50, M
@NerdyPotato Wow. Sorry. ☹
@LordShadowfire thanks for the suggestion though.

 
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