How do you deal with inconsistent people?

Specifically making plans and then completely ignoring me the whole day I was supposed to see them. I really struggle to deal with being told one thing and then another thing happening without anyone saying. How can I stop myself from feeling angry about it? I hate this feeling

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LadyGrace ·

Easy. Choose friends who have and show respect for you. Those you speak of aren’t friends.

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LadyGrace ·

No, but it will change your future for the better. Those people are not friends at all. You deserve someone who values you and will treat you with respect. @AndrewtheAlu

AndrewtheAlu · M

@LadyGrace thank you. I’ll try my best

LadyGrace ·

You seem like a very nice person. I’m sure you can find some wonderful friends. If I lived by you, you would have a best friend. @AndrewtheAlu

4meAndyou · F

My college roommate made plans to meet me for lunch in Boston. I lived about two hours from Boston at the time, and I had to bring my baby with me, so it was a big deal for me when she blew me off and stood me up for lunch.

I realized then that she had become a flake. She called to apologize and I didn't even answer the phone. She left me a message, (said she just forgot), and I just forgot to ever call her back.

cherokeepatti · 61-69, F

@4meAndyou The woman that did it to me did it deliberately, she wasn’t being a flake she was being mean-assed. She apologized the following Monday at work saying she forgot but she was holding back a smirk.

Coralmist · 41-45, F

@4meAndyou How long in advance had you guys planned the lunch? Either way though I'm sorry, esp. when you had to bring your child too and allow extra time :/ My friend once asked me to 'remind' her to hang out with her. o.O I had said, 'ok let's do lunch tomorrow' and she said, 'Yeah text me to remind me....' I was like I need to REMIND you to want to have lunch /hang out with me ? :( That felt low... esp. that we'd been friends many years.

4meAndyou · F

@Coralmist She had invited me to meet her three days before. She had flown in from California and said she wanted to get together.

Elegy · 46-50

It's called flakiness and no one deals well with it. Talk to them or remove them from your life.

Coralmist · 41-45, F

I had a friend for 25 years, good friend too.. I thought. Two years ago we had plans two times, and both times didn't even LET ME KNOW she got busy🙄 and just wasn't even coming. Like she could barely care.. at that point I stopped asking to do lunch/hang out. It made me feel so low what she did, and she never contacted me again either ... Similar to you, just only be around those who DO care how you feel or respect you.

AndrewtheAlu · M

@Coralmist that sounds really annoying too. And thank you!

Smart23 · 51-55, F

I know someone just like that. It's like they don't remember what they said.

AndrewtheAlu · M

@Smart23 or they hope I’ll not remember more likely

FizzBangPop · 56-60, F

I’d make new friends if I were you.

cherokeepatti · 61-69, F

I don’t go around them. Someone did this one time, and figured out it was a game with her. Figured out later that she had a serious personality disorder. She has done a lot to other people, it was a place where I worked.

dumpstermeow · 41-45, F

Don't hang around those kind of people.

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