What was your worst day?

@FelixLegion <3<3<3

@FelixLegion You can PM me whenever you like. I read them all and don't respond to the scary ones usually, but I don't universally ignore people like some lol

@geoam1 This is a beautiful message but I'm so sorry for your loss. It's incredible the way life can change in the blink of an eye; I hope you have found healing in the years that have passed and I'm here to tell you (even if you know it already and even if you don't believe me) that it wasn't your fault.

@Angelfire21


It was in Algeria. Islamists were given a political pardon in exchange of surrendering themselves by 2000. One of those involved in the incidence was shot few years later, one died of cancer comfortably in his home, surrounded by his loved one. Some live , some were killed.

Justice is a tricky concept.

Three cousins of mine were lost. More in other attacks.

My father and all of the men who were involved in politics, fighting for more power are just as responsibile. It's one thing to live by what you believe, another for others to pay the price with you.

I don't think your experience is less severe than mine.

Sometimes people go through less than both and suffer much more deeply.

@Miram Justice is a tricky concept has to be one of the truest statements I've ever read. I totally agree and I think it gets more complicated as people become more radical.

And I've said it before, but it bears repeating: I don't think suffering can be measured. I think pain hurts and that's that. Thank you for sharing this with me, I appreciate your honesty and I hope you find some understanding if justice is impossible. Sometimes it feels like the whole world is on fire and we are all just trying not to burn up.

@Angelfire21

Thank you too.

@Angelfire21 I wish they'd show it more.
@Chickie *hugs*

@SW-User Me too :(
@Chickie I think it's a beautiful thing that you concern yourself with the affect it would have on your dad and sister but I'm sorry that life has been hard enough that you've been down that road.

@SW-User I don't think suffering is something that can be compared or quantified. I think pain is pain and it hurts no matter how severe. I'm sorry you went through that but I suppose I'm glad that you were good enough as a person to feel shame for what had happened. Thanks for sharing and I wish all good things for you in the future <3

@FelixLegion Me too. Day to day. Sometimes when I think about him, it doesn't make me feel sick anymore and I feel like that's a big step in the right direction. I don't know what you believe but I hope you wont be offended by a prayer for peace. <3

@TheLittleMrs Thank you for sharing and I'm sorry for your suffering. It makes you wonder... if he had known it would be the path his son chose, would he still have done it? the lack of answers always frustrated me the most. I couldn't ask him what the hell he was thinking.

God bless you and yours and I hope you're able to find peace if not understanding.

@Angelfire21 Gosh you're a sweetheart. 😘 Being nice to me is my Achilles heel *dies

@DanielChristensen I've been called a lot of things on this site and most of them are not nice, if a little funny, so I'll take sweetheart all day long ~.^

@Angelfire21 You seem nice to me. That's the curiosity of perspective. Ask 12 people about me and you'll get a dozen different stories, but I'm just myself

@24Cheyenne I didn't either, actually.

@24Cheyenne Same. I'm a mom now and could never do that to my daughter. Never.

@Chickie He was probably depressed. A little background: I live in California, very near LA and he had moved to Oregon to live with his dad. He got into trouble up there with some girl and got very sick; he had swollen lymph nodes in his underarms and things of that nature and refused to see a doctor. We still don't know what he was sick with but I've thought anything from a simple STD to HIV; I wont ever get that answer but I do know there was something wrong.

He had burned bridges with his family in Oregon and my mom told him he couldn't come back until he found a job, a conversation that still gives her a lot of guilt to this day. He was living with his dad again when he did it, it was his dad's gun he stole to do so and all of this was because he had really damaged his relationships by being irresponsible and untrustworthy.

He was never those things to me, but I didn't have to live with him and I don't judge his Aunt and cousins for feeling this way; I knew what a trial he could be sometimes.

As far as abuse, he was not sexually or physically abused that I know of. Not while in my mother's house, anyway. My mom was poor, white trash and a single mother of three kids with two different fathers but she was not a terrible person and worked hard to provide for us. We were poor, but we were SAFE.

He did have severe dyslexia, something he seemed to have gotten from his dad, and it had a profound effect on his self-esteem. He used to talk about how he was stupid and we would all argue wit him, but you could tell. He would say, "I'm too stupid to even read, how am I going to get a job?"

He wasn't stupid, but he was definitely a sensitive kid and my mom was strong and protective but not very affectionate. I think this sensitivity and lack of affection was part of the reason he grew to be such a difficult adult and never had good relationships with women. Also, he was an attractive guy and that really didn't help because while he was not mature enough to have a relationship, he always seemed to be in one.

@Angelfire21 I think that was the cause of his suicide and depression maybe.

@Chickie I think so also. I mean the reasons stack up when you look at them in a list but he was really young. I think things can feel so big sometimes that they take over your whole life, but I wish he'd have realized that your "whole life" is a lot longer than 22 years. I have said that to my mom before and she said that maybe that's the reason he did it; he didn't want another 60 years of the same kind of pain. Maybe she's right.

@Angelfire21 Certainly not too late. They have support groups for survivors of suicide. There’s an organization called Grief Share, which is how I found one of my groups.

Sorry, don’t mean to be presumptuous. It’s really a matter of doing whatever works for you.

@LyricalOne No, I'll check it out. I haven't and if I'm talking about it on here, it's obviously not resolved. No idea why, but i was just sitting here in the cool dark and started thinking about my brother. Thanks for the support and the suggestions, I really appreciate it.

@Angelfire21 Good luck and be well. 🙂

@Chickie Thanks babe <3

@Kumar121 You have poor reading comprehension skills.

@SW-User I think there is a lesson in everything if we try to see it, even if it means not to trust certain people or to avoid certain situations. If we learn nothing, then you are absolutely right; it becomes needless suffering. Thanks for sharing friend :)