What was your worst day?

Why was it your worst day? Did you learn anything from it?

My worst day (so far?) was April 16th, 2015. I was at Target with my husband and very pregnant. My little brother had been missing for a few weeks but he did that kind of thing sometimes (he was 22). My mom called and she could barely speak but managed to shout at me through the phone, "he's dead, he's dead, Brendon's dead!"

I didn't faint, but I got very dizzy and my husband pulled a chair off a display for me. My blood pressure sky-rocketed, by midnight that night I was in the ER. My daughter was born the next day in an emergency c-section and she is the light of my life.

My worst day right before my best day.

Brendon shot himself in the chest with a hand-gun in the woods behind his dad's Oregon property. He had been laying there for weeks when his dad found him. This suicide shattered my family.

What I learned? That nothing, no matter how terrible it seems is bad enough to take your own life. I have spent a lot of time wondering if he was cold before he died; I wonder if he cried before or after he did it; I wonder how long it took him to die and why he didn't just shoot himself in the head.

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Miram · 31-35, F

I am sorry for your own loss.

21th august 1997.

My sister's and cousins' death in a terrorist attack, we were kidnapped.

It's hard to think of it as an attack. We weren't exactly living in peace. The threat was present every day.

It made me a crueler person. It took away my childhood. I rarely trust people. I still can't form connections that last without others putting greater effort or a gain which both parties anticipate.

Nothing can be learnt that is exclusive to that experience or going through it.

Angelfire21 · 36-40, F

@Miram Kidnapped?! I'm glad you survived and I'm so sorry that you lost not one, but two family members. It's one thing when someone takes their own life, it's another when someone takes it from them and I hope there was justice if there can't be peace.

I'm so sorry :(

Do you mind if I ask where you are from?

Miram · 31-35, F

@Angelfire21

It was in Algeria. Islamists were given a political pardon in exchange of surrendering themselves by 2000. One of those involved in the incidence was shot few years later, one died of cancer comfortably in his home, surrounded by his loved one. Some live , some were killed.

Justice is a tricky concept.

Three cousins of mine were lost. More in other attacks.

My father and all of the men who were involved in politics, fighting for more power are just as responsibile. It's one thing to live by what you believe, another for others to pay the price with you.

I don't think your experience is less severe than mine.

Sometimes people go through less than both and suffer much more deeply.

Angelfire21 · 36-40, F

@Miram Justice is a tricky concept has to be one of the truest statements I've ever read. I totally agree and I think it gets more complicated as people become more radical.

And I've said it before, but it bears repeating: I don't think suffering can be measured. I think pain hurts and that's that. Thank you for sharing this with me, I appreciate your honesty and I hope you find some understanding if justice is impossible. Sometimes it feels like the whole world is on fire and we are all just trying not to burn up.

Miram · 31-35, F

@Angelfire21

Thank you too.