To anyone who experienced chronic social anxiety

I’ve always felt more comfortable with small groups of people around me who I know well. After I retired from the university I got a job as a greeter in Walmart. Now that was a real challenge for me because sometimes there were large groups flocking in at the same time. I had to. learn that all people couldn’t be greeted the same. Some well-heeled professionals would either scowl or turn their face rather than say hello and walk by for example. Others walked in with attitudes and chips on their shoulders and would make sarcastic remarks knowing that they could get by with it. Others were friendly down-home types and sometimes their children wanted a hug after I gave them stickers. I just had to learn that each person is a bit different and respond to different greetings etc. And learn to not to take it personally when someone is in a foul mood when they enter or leave the store. Some people need help. I think learning that is what helped me relax more around the people. And bringing a small vial of lavender oil is helpful, it helps if you ever get anxious about anything.

I had some CBT, which did help a bit. The main thing was changing my living situation, I was at uni and living with people, but it was too much for me. I was able to move to a place on my own. I learned that it’s ok to socialise at your own pace, you don’t have to stay out all night with people, just go for an hour or only organise things with one or two people (this is a big one for me - large groups really scare me.) I don’t think I’ll ever not be anxious about everything, but I am so much better.

Since, I'm not over it completely, the only thing I can say is most people don't know I'm anxious unless I tell them or I have a really bad day and it's obvious.

I had some success with writing my feelings down and I've had a little success with reminding myself that it doesn't really matter what other people think as long as I am doing my best everyday and being the best person I can be.
My mother said that most people don't even think about us from one day to the next, but anxiety wants us to believe that all eyes are on us waiting for us to fail ,but I don't believe that is true of everyday people and those who go looking to point out everyone's faults ,well we don't really need their good opinion.

I found writing helps express my doubts and worries I have a psychologist to check in with. My job was very public interaction oriented going to higher education helped me learn social skills in a low pressure setting. game clubs is an option family helps. Alcohol is a huge social lubricant pot too

Group therapy, exposure challenges,

and realizing that people are self-absorbed and self-interested which is great for social anxiety because realizing it means that you understand that people dont think about you as much as you think they do,

they care more about themselves and i realized this when i realized that i couldnt remember the colour of the shirt of the receptionist at the clinic when our councellor asked us "does anyone remember the colour of the receptionists shirt?" - illustrating that people dont care *that* much even those with social anxiety.

I don't remember if I talked about this with you specifically, but first off, I just got sober. Which, in and of itself, is a daunting feat, especially if you're an addict. The shit DOES mess with your brain chemistry, and they've been saying it for decades. It affects everyone differently.
Second, find something that works and stick with it. I have been in and out of therapy since 2005, but it has never worked for me.
My doctor prescribed Pristiq after we conducted the Genesight test. It was on top of the "Green" category, so we went with that. Looking at the "Yellow" list is where I've found the majority of the other medications I've tried throughout the years. The "red" column had one of those I've tried, which was Effexor. My body definitely didn't take to that one well. Felt terrible, and it basically took all motivation and caused more anxiety than what I started with.

Pristiq was the easiest and most effective SNRI I've taken. Did my sobering up affect how I responded to it? Very most likely. That's why I started off by addressing that I was an alcoholic.

not looking at people (including pics) until i really have to
people sometimes say that that's avoidance
but it works for me 🤷🏻

I had no choice, I had two kids that needed a father to be an active part of their lives. So I just did what I had to do for them

Volunteer to help out in places where the beautiful hearts are … sharing a common ground with others whatever that may be from music to art … sports … science

It’s out there

Keep going 🦋 ✨