Sincere spiritual question, please be gentle and kind 🙏

(part one) the way I see it is first there was jews. they had a religion based around a very harsh, sometime borderline psychopath god who caused the great flood because he didn't like how people lived, tortured Job just to prove a point, destroyed Soddom and Gomorah because there was sin there, and if someone had sinned and wanted to be forgiven a blood sacrifice, generally a lamb, was a way of getting back in good terms with god. (part two) then Jesus came along and said that the most important thing was to love one and other. a sort of following of people developed around him. then he died and many versions and intepretations of his message started circulating. some saying he was just a very wise men while others saying he was actually of devine origin. (part 3) then , after a few hundred years of persecuting christians, a roman emperor took an interest in this and wanted to make the roman autority the new oficial center of truth regarding Jesus so he got a bunch of intelectuals together, took all the versions of the story of Jesus that they could find and they chose which version they liked and which they didnt and they created the bible. then a purge started where they persecuted and killed anyone that believed a different version than theirs until all that was left is the bible. in the creation of the bible they kept some of the old jewish stuff and incorporated it to the writings about Jesus. some theologians then suggested that Jesus was like a giant lamb that was sacrificed in order to wipe away all the sins of mankind. then it came to be that in order to be saved one simply had to believe in Jesus and believe that he died for their sins to be saved and the message of love was a bit put aside to be replaced with blind obedience. I think the message of Jesus was meant to replace the old jewish ways and mixing the two maintained the idea of an evil, tyrant god that you must fear instead of the god of Jesus which was synonimous with love. I think none of the books written by men should be taken as absolute truth and used more as a source of inspiration. all religions and great thinkers of the past have stuff to teach us but ultimately I believe in sharpening your mind and becoming your own judge of what is true or not and if someone really wants to know god they should search within and develop their own relationship with the devine, outside of any religion of man which are all flawed.

The Bible tells the whole story of which some have not studied, so have been mislead. God doesn't send people to hell. They go there because in their present state, their sins keep them separated from their Holy Heavenly Father, who is so holy, he cannot even look upon sin. If they will just ask Jesus, whom God the Father appointed and approved as our only Mediator between God and man, to forgive their sins, as they turn away from them to a new life in Christ, their sins can no longer condemn them. They'll be fit for heaven. God has not even asked us to do a single thing, other than trust him and believe He will rescue us from the condemnation that sin (not God) placed on us. That's not hard. Jesus never came to condemn any, but to save every soul who comes to Him, asking him to do so.

Jesus said that what we as individuals believe and the choice we make about it, means the difference in spending an eternity in heaven or in hell. So that makes that particular decision, the most important decision of our whole life. That's not judging; that's what Jesus said, and it's what He said, that counts. That makes it something we must not neglect nor ignore, because doing nothing, leaves our soul to chance and keeps one lost and separated from God. That's what He said.

Very genuine question. I could have straight forwardly answered in it as per the Karma philosophy in Indian/Hindu culture. But I don't want to deviate your faith from Christianity. So I would try to rephrase the things keeping your faith in mind. Forgive me if I unintentionally & unknowingly try to modify the core Christian philosophy, or make few assumptions that were actually not true.

Please look at what Jesus said like this. Look, when you are a Christian your idol should be Jesus, you should be following whatever Jesus did on this earth during his lifetime. God has created hell and heaven for the people. If you do good things you will live in heaven and if you do bad things you will have to suffer heaven. When Jesus was alive between people, he was so kind, so loving and human. People would find fortunate to be living in his company. It's not just the people who were living with him were joyful, Jesus himself was blissed out. He took the pain of others but he was still happy, joyful and blissed out. And his enemies were in stress, anger and anxious.

Hell and heaven are no where else, you are living the hell or the heaven here and right now. It's up to you, if you want to live like you are in heaven or live your life as you are in hell. Follow the Jesus, stay blissed and live in heaven, or do the nasty thing and live in hell. God has made the system choice is yours, he is hinting hell and heaven in your current life.

If you still has confusions, I would like you to watch this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dR_VqHIvrh4

Christianity is not so much a religion or a set of teachings or a set of beliefs. It is a personal relationship spiritual renewal process.

“To be charitable, one may admit that the religious often seem unaware of how insulting their main proposition actually is. Exchange views with a believer even for a short time, and let us make the assumption that this is a mild and decent believer who does not open the bidding by telling you that your unbelief will endanger your soul and condemn you to hell. It will not be long until you are politely asked how you can possibly know right from wrong. Without holy awe, what is to prevent you form resorting to theft, murder, rape, and perjury? It will sometimes be conceded that non-believers have led ethical lives, and it will also be conceded (as it had better be) that many believers have been responsible for terrible crimes. Nonetheless, the working assumption is that we should have no moral compass if we were not somehow in thrall to an unalterable and unchallengeable celestial dictatorship. What a repulsive idea!”
― Christopher Hitchens, The Portable Atheist: Essential Readings for the Nonbeliever

I have. My decision was influenced by my father, a Baptist preacher who did not, to the best of my recollection, sermonize about hell. I asked him once what he thought hell was, and he said, "Separation from God, by choice."

I have come to think the Bible has been edited and amplified by those who chose to use it for control, to encourage the adherence to earthly laws and traditions.

That's what I think.

On one hand, hell does seem very extreme, eternal torture for most human transgressions seems like incredible excess. On the other, at least a few passages seem to indicate (at least to my reading) that it may instead be that it's eternal destruction, that is, the punished souls are burned away at which point they are gone forever.

That being said, it seems like there may be a very low bar to avoid that, as in Matthew 10, where simple hospitality to one who is righteous grants the rewards of righteousness, and giving someone a cup of water means you will never lose your reward. Further, Luke 12 explicitly says that those who don't know that what they are doing is wrong will be given reduced punishment, although in what way is unfortunately vague.

In the end, I'm not really sure what to tell you, except that I personally hope there is more to it than we understand, because it's certainly a tough thing to reconcile with an all loving God.

Yes. I have.
In general, I accept that just we once did not know (before now) that there are planets that have more than two moons, we also do not know all that there is to know about God (good and the not so pleasant). There is so much we are learning that is factual , I’m sure we will someday understand more spiritual.

In my Christian church, we believe that those who are the best and closest in spirit to Jesus are allowed to live their eternal lives closest to God, and those who have really tried, but fall somewhat short of perfection live their eternal lives more distant from God and His Holy light.

We believe that the only hell is the complete ABSENCE of God...and there are those who have denied Him, and who refuse to live by His holy law, and they will spend their eternity in that sad place.

I faced a serious battle of choosing between disbelief of Jesus dying on the cross for my sins or not and in the end I thought of how much I loved Jesus and being thankful for what he had done for me already and I couldn't say in my heart that I didn't trust him after he had shown me he was good and worthy of my trust so I decided to give up trying to understand everything and just accept him as God's grace, forgiveness and salvation.

I think that hell is intended for the devil and the demons. Even though it is possible that humans go there and I'm sure too many are, it's said at least four times in the bible that God wants every human saved.

I believe we create our own heaven and hell right here right now. Jesus said "the kingdom of God is at hand but you cannot see it.

I work to co-create with the God of my understanding a life that is second to none. And while on this path, I settle for gradual improvements not perfection.

Alpha and Omega, the highest and the lowest. If you believe in heaven, I don’t see why you see hell as a problem. Within that belief, it’s a matter of polarity. Read Isaiah 45:7.

That's one of the things I was never able to resolve in my mind, either. And no amount of mental gymnastics can change the fact that I'm expected to believe that this being who created me, knows me inside and out, and loves me unconditionally, is going to throw me in a lake of fire if I don't do exactly what he wants.