Sincere spiritual question, please be gentle and kind 🙏

I am sort of stuck on my path to wherever my path is headed but it's become clear to me that I am in a double bind. Essentially I've considered myself a Christian for awhile and have been attracted to the teachings of Jesus as far back as I can remember but what I am attracted to is the love and forgiveness part.

The idea of loving with all my heart, soul, mind and strength is something I would like to do without being told I should do it. The idea of loving ones neighbor as oneself is a wonderful idea and though difficult I feel as though I can sincerely say I do my best to live by this teaching and it gives me joy to do so. The idea of forgiving others is likewise wonderful to me and it is my desire to forgive everyone who has wronged me in some way and again I feel that I have genuinely done so at least according to what I am able to perceive.

However, even though I am someone who would 9/10 defend Christianity...I have to be honest with myself and say that there is a certain part to me that doesn't seem to fit with the rest and yet it would seem to be the most important part. Jesus said the two most important commandments are to love God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength and like I said I take genuine joy in this and the second to love my neighbor as myself, again I take genuine joy in attempting to authentically be that person.

The issue I have is that if the God who says he loves me more than anyone else in existence would even create such a place as hell it makes me terrified of the God that I truly desire to love with all my heart and in my heart I am not able to fulfill the commandment of loving him with all my heart, soul, mind and strength because there are humans who wouldn't do such a thing as create a hell and surely God's love must be way beyond that of human love or at least that is my line of thinking just knowing myself.

The double bind I see is this, I can't accept that hell is real even though I know for a fact that great suffering is real because I believe that God is the very source of love itself and while I would sooner lose my head than deny the God that I feel I know in my heart, I feel like eternal torture is a bit much to say the least and I can't see anything loving about it at all.

Have you dealt with this issue? What is your advice based on your own perspective?

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ABCDEF7 · M

Very genuine question. I could have straight forwardly answered in it as per the Karma philosophy in Indian/Hindu culture. But I don't want to deviate your faith from Christianity. So I would try to rephrase the things keeping your faith in mind. Forgive me if I unintentionally & unknowingly try to modify the core Christian philosophy, or make few assumptions that were actually not true.

Please look at what Jesus said like this. Look, when you are a Christian your idol should be Jesus, you should be following whatever Jesus did on this earth during his lifetime. God has created hell and heaven for the people. If you do good things you will live in heaven and if you do bad things you will have to suffer heaven. When Jesus was alive between people, he was so kind, so loving and human. People would find fortunate to be living in his company. It's not just the people who were living with him were joyful, Jesus himself was blissed out. He took the pain of others but he was still happy, joyful and blissed out. And his enemies were in stress, anger and anxious.

Hell and heaven are no where else, you are living the hell or the heaven here and right now. It's up to you, if you want to live like you are in heaven or live your life as you are in hell. Follow the Jesus, stay blissed and live in heaven, or do the nasty thing and live in hell. God has made the system choice is yours, he is hinting hell and heaven in your current life.

If you still has confusions, I would like you to watch this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dR_VqHIvrh4

Mooncalf · 100+, M

@ABCDEF7 I've actually watched that video before and I know about other faiths, I like the Hindu idea of creation being like a drama with God playing each part so to speak.

"Follow the Jesus, stay blissed and live in heaven, or do the nasty thing and live in hell."

In reference to this part, the nasty thing and the most nasty thing you can do in Christianity is not believe that the only way to heaven in the after life is through Jesus Christ meaning everyone else goes to hell and there in lies the double bind. In Christianity there is a spiritual gun pointed right at your heart and the only way to avoid getting shot is to do what the God with the gun tells you.

ABCDEF7 · M

@Mooncalf Then you need not to follow any belief. Just get connected with the God within you and you are done. You should not be bothering about what is said in any religious book. You should not be concerned about hell or heaven. If you are still thinking about what is written in books, or what someone on this earth said sometime, means you still have not identified the God within you. You just need to follow the divine within you, you need not to follow Jesús, Krishna, Mohammad or any religion.

ABCDEF7 · M

@Mooncalf If you are asking about hell and heaven, it's not a spiritual question, it's a religious question. When you really become spiritual, questions about hell and heaven will not be in your mind.

ABCDEF7 · M

@Mooncalf

creation being like a drama with God playing each part

You have not understood anything clearly about Hindu religion.

Mooncalf · 100+, M

@ABCDEF7 I think my underlining issue is that I am trying to follow the divine within me but I see a point in which what I believe God is teaching me within is not the same thing that the world is teaching, there is a conflict and that is my issue. Also at least for me it isn't just a matter of beliefs, my experience with spiritual things has been as real as anything else and that also complicates matters but you've hit the nail on the head. I feel as though I have been put in a place where I either believe what I feel in my spirit is the right thing to do or believe something else out of fear.

In regards to Hinduism I've only heard about it through brief commentaries so it is very likely I've not understood.

ABCDEF7 · M

@Mooncalf Where I live, it's summer in month of June, July and it's very hot particularly in May and June, and it's too cold in January. When I was in school, I was taught that earth is farthest to sun during the winters like in January and nearest in month of summers. It was easy for me that time to believe because it went with the world I see that time, and everything was perfect. But when I grow up, many new question arose in my mind to which this theory did not confirm to, because the reality is opposite, sun is closest to earth in January.

Similarly I was taught, when we die we either go to hell or heaven depending on what types to actions we perform while we are alive. Hell is bad and heaven is good. Again everything was perfect and aligned with the things I see in the world.

All religions, be it Hindu, Christianity, Islam or any other tells you about hell and heaven. Religions are just like junior school books. It tells you the story that confirms you at initial stages of your learning/enlightenment. As you at that time would not be able to understand the complex truth, they teach you the theories that you should believe because only it will go with the understandability you have at that time.

Religion is about believing, Spirituality is about seeking(the truth). When you are grown up, stop believing that sun is farthest in January because now you are able to understand the truth.

ABCDEF7 · M

@Mooncalf The truth is 99.99% people are in junior school, and believe in theories their religion tells.