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I am desperately trying to write my life story. it is so painful, that it is too difficult.

How do i break down the emotional walls to write this crap down so i can die already?
Carissimi · F
Don’t do that to yourself. Do what moves you away from pain, not what causes you more. You are not ready to be writing, and revisiting, this pain. Maybe you will be at a later date, or maybe never at all. It’s okay one way or the other. The only way I can get through each day is to not think about certain things. If I did, I’d be literally unable to function. Don’t make the suffering worse than it already is. It’s too much. 🤗
@Carissimi i have been living like that for decades. i can't do it anymore
antonioioio · 70-79, M
@Carissimi I've always looked on the good side of life and put the bad things out of my head or what's left in the cup of life and not is gone,
I can see you know what need to do survive ♥️
Carissimi · F
@antonioioio And survival is what it is.
Elisbch · M
A lot of people journal or keep a diary. Some people, I have heard feel a lot different after writing out their feelings. It may help you, I'm just saying. Perhaps writing it like a novel would help you detach from some of your emotions. I find that sometimes writing things out is therapeutic. If you haven't started yet, thinking about doing it may seem more traumatizing than if you actually start. Once you start you may find a balance. (imho).
ninalanyon · 61-69, T
@LILY61 I'm sure you know my life better than I do.
Elisbch · M
@ninalanyon .. I haven't heard it either in any of the places she's listed. EVER ...
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bowman81 · M
Don't try to tackle it all at once. Tell it one story at a time. The good times and the bad, the success and failures. Don't forget the funny stuff, humor is an important part of who a person really is. Start with vignettes, pictures that are a window of who you are. Later you might try to put it all together, but for now just tell a story, one incident at a time. The whole picture will emerge eventually.
We don't eat the whole cow at one sitting. We cook the steak and eat it one bite at a time. It gives us time to digest.
@bowman81 Those are very wise words and i agree with you 100%. problem is, i know you are right, but i can't get myself moving. i have written tiny bits of the story and sent it to people that needed to know what they did to me and what others did to me as well. but that was just the tip of the ice berg. and now it is like i opened the door to Pandora's box but she is only emerging enough to peep out and look around.
antonioioio · 70-79, M
I'm going to live as long as I can and let someone else write my life story 😊
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Rudboy41 · 41-45, M
My advice would be to go back to basics and try writting about other people or events first to reaquaint yourself with your writting style, think highschool english class, prose, narrative style etc, meditation may help you relax and find a starting point, if you make this a bucket list item before death, your brain is naturally going to fight you in order to prolong its life.
@Rudboy41 i don't think it will ever be done
JamesBugman · 56-60, T
Start with a summary. These can be chapters of elements of your life, or age breaks, or however you want to describe it. Don't put many details in, just a quick summary. Later you go back and put the details in, when you have the strength to do it.
@JamesBugman thank you. very sound advice. but how do i get over the emotional hurdles?
JamesBugman · 56-60, T
@LILY61 Best therapy is to talk about it with someone. The more times you tell it, the easier it will become. It is hard to start though. Have a couple shots of whisky and let it out.
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exexec · 61-69, C
I have been working on mine a little at a time, not going into too much detail. I got my father to do his, carefully printed on yellow legal paper. I just finished telling about high school, which included the story of how my wife and I met and started dating.
@exexec that's lovely. i wish i had stories like that
exexec · 61-69, C
@LILY61 I actually have a collection of stories from my life that I wrote on flights back when I traveled a lot. My friends who were characters in the stories enjoyed them, although they disagreed with some of my details. I understand. They saw things through their eyes.
@exexec no two people ever seem to remember any story exactly the same way. strange isn't it? makes me wonder about courtroom witnesses...
Jenny1234 · 51-55, F
I’ve read authors describe writing a painful autobiography as the best therapy they’ve ever had.
@Jenny1234 that is why i want to do get rid of these feelings
Donotfolowme · 51-55, F
Why do you have to write it, record it.
@ninalanyon All true if you have normal stories to tell. i don't have any normal stories to tell. when i have heard myself saying truthfully all that has happened, i feel sick and quivery and give up. it is so horrifying to hear yourself talk about things that are usually a horror movie origin story that leads to revenge and terror.
ninalanyon · 61-69, T
@LILY61 Perhaps you don't really need to write them down or record them after all? What is the reason for wanting to?
WillaKissing · 56-60
@Donotfolowme Having PTSD myself I can tell you that the best therapist asks you to journal about the event/events that plague you. Avoidance is half the issue and journaling/writing it down is a key to healing. That's why sweety.

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