I am desperately trying to write my life story. it is so painful, that it is too difficult.

@Elisbch i agree with what you are saying. But i can't get myself going. i start to write and then i start homogenizing the experience...as if it wasn't really that bad. i go back and re-read it and it is like i turned my life into a children's book. I white wash the entire event. It is like i am talking about a mass shooting but i only talk about the one person that gets injured. It is like i am writing about devouring a cake but i only talk about the first bite.

I don't know if i am unconscientiously embarrassed or horrified. But if i don't write the whole story it doesn't sound true. And as it is, my life sounds like nonsense...but it is all true

@LILY61 ...

your internal struggle reminds me of a saying from the Tao Te Ching.

"When the student is ready the teacher will appear. When the student is truly ready... The teacher will Disappear."

You, being the student, are not ready to write out your life yet. When you are ready, (the teacher will appear) you'll know what to write.

I believe this. Things happen when they're supposed to. Forcing things many times brings an unwanted outcome. I believe the time will come when you will know exactly what you want to write. Patience will be your main obstacle. 🤗

@Elisbch that is all nice and good but i don't believe in most proverbs...just like i don't believe in most poetry. i think it is truly sad that our society does believe these things as if they were facts. i think it is horrifying that still to this day we think that if a boy hits you, it means he likes you. Those boys are probably hitting their wives regularly and brutally.

@LILY61 .. you don't want help, you want attention. You find something wrong with everyone's suggestions.

@Elisbch Wow! i despise liars. especially on a web site where we go to people about personal problems and someone starts acting like you...

i told everyone that i agreed with them but the problem was actually forcing myself to do the actual typing of some very painful moments. Their comments were correct but not exactly what i was looking for. Then you come up with "Confucius say...." and i was still polite. ..proverbs are not accurate or helpful.

Then you actually have the gall to say, "you don't want help, you want attention. You find something wrong with everyone's suggestions."

That was completely uncalled for.

@LILY61 Who thinks that?
It doesn't mean anything of the kind. It just means he wants power over you, most likely because he has no power over anyone or anything else.

@LILY61 ...

I see!.... but I also see what kind of a person I'm dealing with when I read that you wrote...


That pretty much says it all. 🤷🙄

@LILY61 I'm quite confident that no parent in my family ever said such a thing, not in recent generations at least.

@ninalanyon you are my age which means that you have heard this from adults and people your own age, you have heard this on tv and in movies and read it several times in your life. if i have then you have. unless you were living under a rock.

@LILY61 Not where I come from.

@ninalanyon don't believe you

@LILY61 I'm sure you know my life better than I do.

@ninalanyon .. I haven't heard it either in any of the places she's listed. EVER ...