How do I get through this? Am I a bad mum? I don’t want to ramble on, I just have nobody else t...

Well, being concerned about your son is being a good mum, and being financially responsible is ALSO being a good mum.

See how you can balance these while you are paying off debt and getting some savings.

But stop and consider this: even your dark thoughts show that you are actually willing to sacrifice being there with your son...

BUT SNAP OUT OF THAT!

You son needs YOU, not some alternate woman.

NO OTHER WOMAN WILL EVER LOVE YOUR SON AS MUCH, AS WELL, AS SELFLESSLY, AS TOTALLY, AS YOU DO.

So be his mom.

That's best for everybody.

😊😊😊

Needchange1111 · 22-25, F

Hi everyone. I can’t believe the amount of kind and supporting comments & messages I have had. Thank you all for making me feel less alone and that things will be okay. My son is my everything and I have been really comforted by you all telling me that I’m a good mum and trying my best. Hopefully once I clear this debt I will be able to spend more time with him but until then at least I know I’m trying my absolute best. Thank you all again from the bottom of my heart, reading these messages has brought a bit of light into my life this morning ❤

Adogslife · 61-69, M

First, what you’re feeling is normal. People go through tough times both mentally and physically. Don’t judge yourself too harshly.

As for your child, they only care that they’re loved. If you continually show that love, everything else is explainable as they get older. That love wont allow abuse.

If you need help beyond your partner, most medical coverage helps with therapy. It’s a wonderful thing. If you broke your leg, you’d certainly seek help. If your mind is off track, it’s the exact same thing. There’s always a remedy.

As for debt, that’s not as hard as you think. Talk purchases over before buying. You know what’s needed and what’s frivolous. If you can’t afford to pay cash, you can’t afford it.

If you want to afford more, it’s easy. Communicate at work. If you don’t tell your boss you’re going to kick ass so you can get a raise or promoted, DON’T assume they know or care. Income isn’t random. It goes to those that state their plan and back it up. Don’t complain. Stay out of politics. If you need to leave a job for higher wages, do it. Evaluate you income path every two years. Don’t listen to promises. If your goal is to punch in and punch out, expect your paycheck to reflect the same.

Attack success. Attack it as a mom, wife and employee. The results will come. You will succeed.

PoetryNEmotion · F

Listen, moms who work feel guilty cause they are not at home. Moms who stay at home feel guilty because they are not working. This is temporary. He knows you are his mom. He knows you love him. Please get some counselling about how you feel including your depressed thoughts and your trauma. Even tslk to a crisis line. If you feel like harming yourself, talk to your family doctor or go to the ER to get evaluated. You are not alone. You have a spouse. A child. And, I am sure, friends And relatives who care about you.

Convivial · 26-30, F

A few points that hopefully may help you come to peace ... There may be some post natal depression occurring.... Secondly debt is a worry and that won't be helping.... On the bright side, you are working and taking actions to remedy the situation... You can only do what you can do and you are taking positive actions.... It will resolve itself in your favour and your son will be the happier for that 🤗

Picklebobble2 · 56-60, M

I hear you.

Times are hard. You have to do what you have to do to keep a roof over your head and food in your belly.

But you didn't cause the economic problem. Like millions of other parents also in exactly the same position !

So you're not alone.

Don't doubt yourself !
I've no doubt you're an excellent mother doing what she needs to.

froggtongue · M

That sure sounds tough. I'm glad you were able to share with us. I know you're making the best decision you can. It's easy to second guess yourself, but you're doing what you're doing for a reason. All you can do is your own personal best.

shakemeup · 36-40

I think it's natural to have doubts from time to time especially when you're stressed out. But it sounds to me like you care so much for him. You sound like a great mom. He needs you not a new mom. Sounds like you are doing everything you need to do to be a good mom. And you are aware about balancing being there for him and other responsibilities. Hopefully things settle down and you won't have as many worries weighing you down. Keep working at things and continue to try to take the time as a family to enjoy each other as well.

Life is never smooth and perfect! You keep on doing the best you can! You got this!

SnipingSvelte · 26-30, F

please don't let the dark thoughts win. you have got some good advice from others here. you are being a wonderful mom and you just need to take one day at a time, one moment at a time 🤗

Casheyane · 31-35, F

The fact that you're worrying about wanting to be with your son but wanting to make sure you resolve your debt so you can be with your family freely tells me you have a sense of responsibility and that you care for him. Don't be too hard on yourself.

I'm not sure about your work, but if possible, there are opportunities for work from home. You can try that. Some also opt for freelance. That way, you can spend time with your son and still earn.

God bless.

TheOneyouwerewarnedabout · 46-50, MVIP

kids a resilient. you do what you gotta do 🤘

Sapio · 51-55, M

You're doing the best you can for your son. Keep you head up. You're a good mum. You're sacrificing time with him but it is for the greater good. Hang in there.

Royricky09

Relax... You are overthinking.
Everything will be just fine.

Thinking never solves the problem

beermeplease · M

be a momma bear and take care of your child....

InHeaven · F

Well…at this age he won’t remember you weren’t there

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