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Why do most men just look at women but never say anything?

I'm sure most people have experienced someone just looking at them but not saying anything to you. Sometimes it's a stranger who you meet briefly and sometimes it's a person you see often.
PerfectionOfTheHeart · 41-45, F
As someone who was approached by a man in the grocery store and proceeded to endure an awkward ten minute conversation of how attractive I was and how lucky my better half was to have me, I don’t see the harm in men admiring from afar.

Guys have it hard though. Given how harshly some women can shut down a guy, I can understand why some don’t bother saying anything at all because that sting can really stay with a person for a while. And given the times we’re in, it’s often seen safer...for many reasons...to keep a distance instead of overstepping any unseen bounds.
PerfectionOfTheHeart · 41-45, F
[@1201494,SweetFantasy] ...I’m pretty sure the theme song from Law and Order: SVU starts playing in those instances. That probably happens often for both sexes without us being aware of it. People of Walmart makes a killing off of such a thing.
PerfectionOfTheHeart · 41-45, F
[@6579,BlueMetalChick] 😂. That’s awesome
PerfectionOfTheHeart · 41-45, F
[@6757,questionWeaver] Haha nah, just makes it harder for that dude to do it again. Y’all will keep a comin’ and lawd love ya for it 😄
Dragfan8200 · 36-40, M
well because i have had some girls be like / who are u talking to and who do u think you are. extremely nasty. so mainly i just dont say anything
Dragfan8200 · 36-40, M
[@1201494,SweetFantasy] really i would even buy u and 80's olds to revv as well
JP1119 · 31-35, M
[@1201494,SweetFantasy] Oooh! Just [i]how[/i] would you “make it up to him later”?
SweetFantasy · 26-30, F
[@337057,JP1119] hahahaha please
Miram · 26-30, F
I prefer that they don't talk at all
SweetFantasy · 26-30, F
[@506684,DawsonsGrove] everybody is a stranger before you get to know them. If an attractive person saw you and you noticed them, you wouldn't want them to say anything to you? Even some random small talk that could brighten your day a little?
Nayla · 51-55, F
[@1201494,SweetFantasy] no, I wouldn't want them to say anything to me. I've had my own experiences where men have tried to talk to me and not once did it turn into a positive situation.
SweetFantasy · 26-30, F
[@506684,DawsonsGrove] that's usually the case when a man walks by and compliments me but when it's someone I see regularly and it's the same looking but not talking, I'm curious.
TheSunisout · 56-60, M
I think it works both ways.
[@11430,TheSunisout] best answer
graphite · 56-60, M
[@1201494,SweetFantasy] [youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PxuUkYiaUc8&t=84s]
SweetFantasy · 26-30, F
[@698333,graphite] i appreciate this
They don't want to be me-tooed
SweetFantasy · 26-30, F
[@573519,Valdaine] I don't think that can happen by talking only if they try to touch you
[@573519,Valdaine] correct
Fear offfffffffff reeeeeeejectionnnnnnn.
BigBen · 61-69, M
Many are shy. Many have learned through experience that speaking to a woman who does not know them will likely result in both people feeling awkward at best. Socially, people interact more readily when they have been introduced through another person or activity.
ViciDraco · 36-40, M
My general thought process is usually that it would be rude to bother them. I then add in a good dose of fear of rejection. And so I remain why fueled by a mix of misguided politeness and fear
Coralmist · 36-40, F
[@657984,ViciDraco] Exactly. Someone recently answered here my post on why should a woman who doesn't offer much due to anxiety, date anyway? They said because the connection with someone is worth more. (Than fear or risk) I liked that.
ViciDraco · 36-40, M
[@562099,Coralmist] I definitely believe it is up to the other person to decide what someone offers them. We never have a true way of seeing what we mean to others.
Coralmist · 36-40, F
[@657984,ViciDraco] Thank you 🦋🌹
Riemann · 31-35, M
The chance of coming off as an overly enthusiast.
Xavierr · 46-50, M
Because we're afraid of rejection.
graphite · 56-60, M
[@1069095,unknowncomic] Rejection, humiliation, prosecution
Adstar · 51-55, M
I these modern times a man making an unwelcomed advance is deemed Abuse.. So if a man does not want to end up with a sex offenders record and sacked from his job he is not going to be playing Russian roulette by approaching a woman..
[@1086573,Adstar] And we're back to the problems with your approach. Is there something in between "rape women on sight" and "don't go anywhere near women?" How about paying attention to social cues, and only making an advance when you're fairly certain it will be welcomed, while being prepared to back off if asked? Of course, if you aren't able to sense those social cues, that could be a problem, and the most prudent thing in that case would be to either not approach anyone, or have a more astute person arrange your relationships for you. Like Myles Standish asking John Alden to approach Priscilla Mullins on his behalf (although that didn't turn out the way Standish wanted).

The idea that the law you have will prevent the next generation from being born is ludicrous. There are plenty of people; humanity is in no danger of going extinct because of "feminism."

If you want the freedom to approach women with no restrictions, what's your view on gay men propositioning you? Imagine some big, burly "bear" walking up to you while you're in the supermarket and telling you that you have a nice ass and asking if you'd be OK if he buttfucked you. Or, imagine that this is at night in a deserted alley.
Adstar · 51-55, M
[@1026,LeopoldBloom]
You just don't get it leopoldBloom..

Or more likely you do gt it but you just refuse to acknowledge the situation..

Your example of a homosexual making an advance just shows me you are not paying attention to what i have said.. You really are dodging.. So no point in continuing the conversation..
[@1086573,Adstar] A gay man approaching you for sex, and you approaching a woman for sex, are [b]exactly[/b] the same thing. The only reason you see a difference is because of your religious indoctrination, that tells you your interest in women is "normal" while a gay man's interest in you is "sinful."

So should I assume that if a large, threatening gay man propositioned you, you'd just tell him "no" with no concern for your safety?
BlueVeins · 22-25
can't speak for most men, but I always see women complaining online about being accosted by random dudes in public and I'd rather not be another one for the list.
SweetFantasy · 26-30, F
[@4199,BlueVeins] very true
tk9999 · 41-45, M
Sometimes they are just shy, or unsure how the woman will respond if they try to start a conversation with her, and they are afraid of being perceived negatively.
sunrisehawk · 61-69, M
I try to observe the world as I pass through it, and when my eyes pause on a woman, it is usually some detail that I find beautiful, a whisp of hair that has escaped, brilliant eyes in the sun, or something else. I usually just give a smile and continue on with my day. I seldom say anything as there are just too many women looking to be offended.

If it is someone I see often, I often make a compliment as well. Appreciating beauty is all that it is.
SweetFantasy · 26-30, F
[@396546,sunrisehawk] that is truly poetic
SledgeHammer · 46-50, M
I tried that once.... I said hello and struck up a little brief conversation with a few chuckles and giggles.... what i didnt know was her bf was walking out of the restroom with eyes locked on us laughing at something silly... long story short.... i got arrested for...
Disorderly Conduct
And
Aggravated Asult
SweetFantasy · 26-30, F
[@1019125,SledgeHammer] how? did you fight him?
SledgeHammer · 46-50, M
[@1201494,SweetFantasy] jealous boyfriend comes up behind me and spins me around and gets in my face....
I Kicked his ass!
iamnikki · 26-30, F
could be scared to say something. Could be waiting for her to say something first.
Could just be mesmerized. Either way, it's annoying.
SweetFantasy · 26-30, F
[@467302,iamnikki] totally agree
[@1201494,SweetFantasy] Staring is never appropriate.
iamnikki · 26-30, F
[@1201494,SweetFantasy] I know right. Glad someone agrees lol
I will try to discreetly look at a woman that I find attractive, but it wouldn’t be appropriate to tell a stranger she looks good as that could come across as threatening. Or if she doesn’t consider herself attractive, it could sound insulting.

I suppose I could make small talk, but in most cases, there’s no reason to, and besides, neither of us wants the interruption. If it’s a situation like waiting in a doctor’s office, the grocery checkout line, or something similar, I do strike up conversations with people. If it’s someone I see often, I will interact if it’s appropriate to the situation.
SweetFantasy · 26-30, F
[@1026,LeopoldBloom] girls usually don't like it when a strangers first words to them is "you're beautiful or hot" I guarantee 99% wouldn't be impressed. I guess this saying something instead of staring thing only has hope if it's someone you see regularly because then you have a chance to become familiar.
[@1201494,SweetFantasy] Exactly. I would have to know the woman pretty well before I would comment on her appearance.
SW User
Men also experience the same thing. I hate it when people stare and don't say anything. Don't know if they wanna fight or something. I'd rather have a human moment from them than them just staring like freaks.
SweetFantasy · 26-30, F
[@429468,ragingfire] yes! That's what I mean surely staring silently is worse than looking and saying something nice
Sweetpoison · 36-40, FVIP
They are scared 😈
JesseInTX · 51-55, M
I think each situation is different. And each woman is different. You can sense sometimes that a woman doesn’t want to be bothered and if you approach her it won’t end well. Of course that isn’t always the case.
Dolimyte · 36-40, M
Some are debating talking to you, but anxiety prevents them.
Dolimyte · 36-40, M
[@1201494,SweetFantasy] eye contact chills me to the bone.
SweetFantasy · 26-30, F
[@1999,Dolimyte] I've heard some people have a big issue with eye contact. I don't particular like it but when you're minding your own business and you catch someone staring into your eyes, i dare you to lock eye with them and don't move before they do! They will feel uncomfortable too I promise!
Dolimyte · 36-40, M
[@1201494,SweetFantasy] I don't stare anymore, that was when I was much younger, but sometimes eye contact happens and it's still one of my biggest anxiety triggers.
SumKindaMunster · 51-55, M
Men are visually stimulated and we like looking at things that make us feel sexual or romantic.
SweetFantasy · 26-30, F
[@622788,SumKindaMunster] wisdom here!
Nayla · 51-55, F
They are just looking. That's all. No need to say anything.

I look at people often. Maybe I like her dress. Maybe I like his shoes. Maybe I think that kid is a brat. Maybe I think the person looks familiar but I have no idea where I know them from. I don't always need to speak my mind.
SweetFantasy · 26-30, F
[@506684,DawsonsGrove] yeah I didn't say staring, a look is harmless but looking a lot is like staring. You're not going to wonder why someone isnt talking to you if they look over once, continued glances is when it's annoying.
Nayla · 51-55, F
[@1201494,SweetFantasy] I think when you're young it might be fun but when you're my age, you could care less.
SweetFantasy · 26-30, F
[@506684,DawsonsGrove] when its someone you find intruiging and possibly attractive you would want them to say something.
REMsleep · 41-45, F
Is not always the best time to say something and now a lot of men feel afraid that they will be received badly as in harassment
This message was deleted by its author.
Rambler · M
Lack of confidence could be one reason, but there could be a variety of other reasons too
if I saw cute girl in a book store and could see her looking at a book that looked interesting to me as well I might approach and have in the past with some girls into wiccan books but it's been awhile and that was very transistory when it happened. my family had taken us to the mall and we had to book it REALLY quickly. family wasalways in a rush to get whatever it was done and get out and go home.
Thevy29 · 36-40, M
I space out a lot. The fact that it was in your direction if just a coincidence.
taneegoan · 26-30, F
their thinking their attitude prevent them
It's not necessary to always say something
SW User
My sense of fear is haywired. Put me in a life or death situation and I’m calm as fuck surprisingly. But when it comes to asking a girl out on a date or even just to say hello to a stranger. I then need a change of undies lol.
SweetFantasy · 26-30, F
[@1390,AwakeningConfession9] social anxiety
SW User
[@1201494,SweetFantasy] you said it.
I am not sure... but what I have experienced... where someone waves at another person behind me and I think that they are waving at me. A friend once told me to just nod when you aren't sure if someone is acting like they know you.
SweetFantasy · 26-30, F
[@355911,theexciting12021] good tip it's much more subtle than waving back lol I usually ignore them for awhile just to see if it's really me they're waving to or just look behind you
CurvyCutie · 31-35, F
Sometimes its creepy.
JP1119 · 31-35, M
Well usually I look at women because they look nice, I just like looking at them. Sometimes I don’t have anything to say. Other times most often it occurs to me [i]after[/i] we’ve separated that I should have said something to her.
SweetFantasy · 26-30, F
[@337057,JP1119] happened to me today! I was at a traffic light and I looked beside me and a cute man was looking at me and i quickly looked away and didn't look back and as we left he came past me and looked again and 10 minutes later I was like "damn! I shouldnt have looked away!"
graphite · 56-60, M
Because of fear of being labeled a stalker and a creep and having police sent after them. #MeToo has made it too risky for men to interact with women they don't know.
KA9ha · 31-35, M
they keep the commenting to themselves as speaking out is meaningless. Furthermore , any comment or view is their OWN ,may not be shared . They see no point if it hurts the listener
JohnnyO · 36-40, M
Your pretty Cool I like You
SweetFantasy · 26-30, F
[@105699,JohnnyO] your question haha same question different names
JohnnyO · 36-40, M
[@1201494,SweetFantasy] thanks
SweetFantasy · 26-30, F
[@105699,JohnnyO] you're nice and fun to talk to
anxiety on my part... afraid really.

I hate making cold approaches. if all I know about you is how you look there's really no common ground to connect on.
JohnnyO · 36-40, M
[@1201494,SweetFantasy] So What Do you think of Jason Momoa & Would You Do Him
JohnnyO · 36-40, M
[@1201494,SweetFantasy] Nice
JohnnyO · 36-40, M
[@1201494,SweetFantasy] So What do you think of The Rock & Would You Do Him
SweetFantasy · 26-30, F
[@105699,JohnnyO] the rock is cute in a silly charming way and come on both these men wouldnt do me lol
Multitasking is impossible, but I can talk to you with my eyes closed
SweetFantasy · 26-30, F
[@776292,BeefySenpie] men really can't multitask
Justsimple · 46-50, M
Maybe we too shy and just liie to look or even perv at good looking women
(shrugs) After a certain point, people don’t look [b]or[/b] say anything. And life goes on.
ncgremlin · 56-60, M
I'm kind of shy at first. And I get tongue tied
DropTopDig · M
[@941081,ncgremlin] Same here.
cutthecrap · 41-45, M
The body language is not sending out confidence signal.
I have a personality flaw ... I notice a lady, I will talk with her
AngelKrish · 26-30, M
If girl start staring back with love then 😉 go and talk simply
Virgo79 · 56-60, M
It's better, black eyes suck😂
SweetFantasy · 26-30, F
[@349935,Virgo79] you dont have to worry about a woman attacking you. Maybe her man.
Virgo79 · 56-60, M
[@1201494,SweetFantasy] or both😳

I try to behave,

Most times🤭
👀

*me staring at you with nothing to say*
MysteriousMan · 26-30, M
Don't know about others but I am afraid
PhpPhoenix · 31-35, M
Being shy, not knowing what to say.

 
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