I Live In a Sexless Marriage

@AmazingPoet: That sounds about right. No wonder why you hear about guys that murder their wives (not condoning or suggesting that as a viable alternative - Im just sayin' that some guys can only be pushed so far before they snap) You work all your life giving for the wife and family only to lose it all.

@DanGerUs: Yes, so what happens is when you have nothing to live for you go out with a bang. One guy I read who was saddled with alimony (half his income) and loss of his home and everything else by judge. He took a rifle shot the judge up while he was out working in his yard. Shot her in the head at home. Shot himself in the head.

Another case that happened to my ex-brother in law. He moved in with a woman who was divorced and the guy was having to pay cs, alimony. One day when he was out at work he went to the house with a hatchet. Axed her to pieces, drove to new mexico and hung himself. Leaving their 3 kids without parents.

These things will continue until the justice system balances itself out from gender discrimination and pleads of "Abuse" without substantial facts or evidence to back itself up.

I have NEVER EVER felt what it was like to be discriminated against until I was in family court. It was until I was there that I felt what Martin Luther King and others felt like having to go to the back of the bus.

I would be dead too, as I got saddled with 7 months of alimony and child support while the divorce played itself out in maintenance mode. It wasn't until she made a really stupid move I finally got a chance to make it. She moved the kids out of our home and moved them 300 miles away without my permission. It was then that I had to make a really hard decision. A new attorney thanks to prayers to God followed by his wrangling her hand forced her to sign out of maintenance mode with my control over the terms. I ended up paying her lump sum of 30K in alimony because I knew she would be with her lover and live with him and I would be emotionally angry. 30K seemed better than writing a check each month and becoming a bitter person. That coupled with another 56K and child support gave me my out.

Lots of prayers, DivorceCare, Psychologist visits, more prayers finally landed me out.

I Am scarred, but I survived. So year divorce should give you the biggest award of your life when your a man and you survive it. Should get a trophy the size of the super bowl.

Most men DO NOT make it out.

@AmazingPoet: Hang in there and try to not let one person in life wreak so much havoc on you. Instead get yourself a much younger and better looking gal pal to hang with and to enjoy doing things that the ex didn't allow you to enjoy.
To me at this point in life I think about my kids and how their life would be if only left with their mom. I try to give them some fun times and happy memories to at least have out of what has become of our family.

@Crusher69: For me it felt like a divorce of my material possessions. Yes even though you are happier , you still have a yoke around your neck to be giving your ex child support. I understand
Why but I don't understand how the parent that has the kids misuses it and isn't accountable to the courts for what is spent. My ex bought purses and a new vehicle and meanwhile my kids all had the same clothes and smelled horrible every time I got them.

@AmazingPoet: Because they are bitter and wish to punish the one who leaves and who has freedom and a life. That is why kids are often pawns. They know your weakness. You love your kids. And you should. All you can do is what is right. Be there for your kids emotionally, physically, and financially. Eventually they feel better and they know the truth. One cannot be angry or resentful for doing what is right for you. You have to love yourself if your spouse won't. Choices. And what are material possessions anyway? They can be replaced. One can live with less when one is happier and free. I did. I still do. Because knowing that one is free and happy and eventually, loved, is better than a bank account full of money in a relationship where your bed is so damn cold and you wake up each day knowing you deserve more...

@PoetryNEmotion: Well said

Divorce, recovery and all of that is like going to war and coming back. It is by far the hardest thing I have EVER faced in my whole life. Yes my life is much better, but I deserve a medal for survival. God, Church, DivorceCare groups and massive support from friends and family are what kept me from opting out of life. Try being a father everyday of your kids lives then becoming a every other weekend visitor.

@AmazingPoet: Yet you still have their hearts. When one is in the midst of chaos, one learns to adapt even to their own detriment. Depression, addictions, cheating and other conditions and vices may occur in desperate attempts to survive in a war zone. Are you receiving counseling or are you in a support group? You have a lot of anger and frustration and stress and that isn't good for you. I hope you vent to people whom you trust.

@AmazingPoet: I envy you, I really do. People can learn from what you have been through and survived.

i highly doubt that I'll be getting any support any time soon. but thats life.

@darktippedrose: Life should be good for you. Even better than good. You are young still. And you deserve happiness. How will you live? There has to be another way. Can you join a support group locally? Do you have friends who listen to you? Others in the same boat so as to speak?

I don't get out much. which is why I talk on here. its one of the few places where I can be myself.

Sorry any parent that uses a protection order to remove someone who loves them is a really really shitty person in my book. Both parents father and mother should be a part of a childs life. Yet, there are so many shitty people that do that.

@AmazingPoet: I understand. My husband would never give me a divorce and let me have the kids. Not because he wants them. Just because he lost his older kids to their mother. It was never about the kids, it was a personal insult to his manhood. He could care less about the kids.

thats why I stay.

@darktippedrose: You could fight this. And win. If you wanted to.