I Live In a Sexless Marriage

In my personal opinion, it seems that by the time the wife realizes that intimacy has been long ignored over the years it turns into a drought. When hungry and consumed by desire the man begins to look for an emotional connection and darwinian urge and moves on to someone else. Divorce usually follows.

The drought years are the hardest. They are years lost because you choose to stay in fear and not divorce because of what you have to lose. Its especially true for men in general who usually lose the most. - IE Lost house, lost kids, child support, alimony, half your income. Its why men secretly cheat in marriage.

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Crusher69 · 61-69, M

I finally managed to walk away from my marriage. The biggest barrier is fear. And breaking through the years of conditioning. I waited until the kids left home to ensure they were protected. Regarding the financial aspect - don't let that warp your mind. Whoever is the main breadwinner- you will loose at least half. Just accept and move on.

PoetryNEmotion · F

What is the real cost? It is not money. You achieve Freedom and with that comes happiness. Happy to hear your words. Enjoy your new life.

Crusher69 · 61-69, M

@PoetryNEmotion: Thanks. What you say us very true!! It is important to keep it all in perspective as it is very easy to get all bitter and twisted about loosing possessions and money. Sometimes you have to just cut your losses and remind yourself why you are moving on

ShadowSteel · M

@Crusher69: For me it felt like a divorce of my material possessions. Yes even though you are happier , you still have a yoke around your neck to be giving your ex child support. I understand
Why but I don't understand how the parent that has the kids misuses it and isn't accountable to the courts for what is spent. My ex bought purses and a new vehicle and meanwhile my kids all had the same clothes and smelled horrible every time I got them.

PoetryNEmotion · F

@AmazingPoet: Because they are bitter and wish to punish the one who leaves and who has freedom and a life. That is why kids are often pawns. They know your weakness. You love your kids. And you should. All you can do is what is right. Be there for your kids emotionally, physically, and financially. Eventually they feel better and they know the truth. One cannot be angry or resentful for doing what is right for you. You have to love yourself if your spouse won't. Choices. And what are material possessions anyway? They can be replaced. One can live with less when one is happier and free. I did. I still do. Because knowing that one is free and happy and eventually, loved, is better than a bank account full of money in a relationship where your bed is so damn cold and you wake up each day knowing you deserve more...

Crusher69 · 61-69, M

@PoetryNEmotion: Well said