I Live In a Sexless Marriage

I call that the death throes of the marriages. The final gasp and sputter and collapse is when communication and lack of attention for each other goes away. Well wrote Dan. I agree.

@AmazingPoet: the final gasp is a very good description.

@DanGerUs: They say in DivorceCare (Attended course twice) that women are usually aware that the end is coming and begin prepping years in advance for the Divorce. Men tend to get blindsided. Women are much smarter at sensing the end. They shut off physically and begin to prepare for the end. In extreme cases, they will cheat, find a new person. File a domestic abuse protection order against the man. The man gets removed from his own home by the police, . What follows is the courts force him to pay maintenance to the woman, child support, and he has to find a small shack to live in while supporting her lifestyle with this new person. Worst case she is a stay at home mom and his no income so you are really screwed. Again, this is why most men opt out on sleeping pills and kill themselves.

@AmazingPoet: That sounds about right. No wonder why you hear about guys that murder their wives (not condoning or suggesting that as a viable alternative - Im just sayin' that some guys can only be pushed so far before they snap) You work all your life giving for the wife and family only to lose it all.

@DanGerUs: Yes, so what happens is when you have nothing to live for you go out with a bang. One guy I read who was saddled with alimony (half his income) and loss of his home and everything else by judge. He took a rifle shot the judge up while he was out working in his yard. Shot her in the head at home. Shot himself in the head.

Another case that happened to my ex-brother in law. He moved in with a woman who was divorced and the guy was having to pay cs, alimony. One day when he was out at work he went to the house with a hatchet. Axed her to pieces, drove to new mexico and hung himself. Leaving their 3 kids without parents.

These things will continue until the justice system balances itself out from gender discrimination and pleads of "Abuse" without substantial facts or evidence to back itself up.

I have NEVER EVER felt what it was like to be discriminated against until I was in family court. It was until I was there that I felt what Martin Luther King and others felt like having to go to the back of the bus.

I would be dead too, as I got saddled with 7 months of alimony and child support while the divorce played itself out in maintenance mode. It wasn't until she made a really stupid move I finally got a chance to make it. She moved the kids out of our home and moved them 300 miles away without my permission. It was then that I had to make a really hard decision. A new attorney thanks to prayers to God followed by his wrangling her hand forced her to sign out of maintenance mode with my control over the terms. I ended up paying her lump sum of 30K in alimony because I knew she would be with her lover and live with him and I would be emotionally angry. 30K seemed better than writing a check each month and becoming a bitter person. That coupled with another 56K and child support gave me my out.

Lots of prayers, DivorceCare, Psychologist visits, more prayers finally landed me out.

I Am scarred, but I survived. So year divorce should give you the biggest award of your life when your a man and you survive it. Should get a trophy the size of the super bowl.

Most men DO NOT make it out.

@AmazingPoet: Hang in there and try to not let one person in life wreak so much havoc on you. Instead get yourself a much younger and better looking gal pal to hang with and to enjoy doing things that the ex didn't allow you to enjoy.
To me at this point in life I think about my kids and how their life would be if only left with their mom. I try to give them some fun times and happy memories to at least have out of what has become of our family.