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How to attract good partner

I noticed that if I meet good men, they tend to avoid me unlike the toxic men. Sometimes I feel like I'm repelling good ones . Or maybe i haven't met many good ones . I only met few.

Idk what am I doing wrong? Any advice or opinions?
whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, M
Well, since you asked, I will stick my head in the lions mouth..There are girls who are fun, (or not fun) and there are potential keepers, who are partners..REAL partners you can respect and who dont play the woman card in the relationship..
My wife made me a better person, by being a better person I had to live up to and she says I did the same for her. 50 years on she forgets a lot and it frustrates her (and me at times) But no one can take away what we built together.. And you want a man who sees that in you..😷
whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, M
@sahi81 OK. I will take this slowly, so pardon if I "mansplain." I believe that many couples marry or "cohabit" and expect the other person to be the solution to all their problems. And that just is not how it works.. You can have World War three about how to lay out the cutlery draw..
If both of you already have family and careers, the best way I know to make a marriage work is to spend some time living your life as you did, respecting the other persons right to do the same thing.. And both spend the rest of your time living in the Marriage. A new place where you both get to learn new ways so cooperate and take advantage of the skills you both have. Neither of you has to do things the way your mother did. Or be like your father. Thats up to you to work out. 😷
sahi81 · 22-25, FNew
@whowasthatmaskedman i agree, we think our partner is god. NO, they r also just a human and they don't know everything.

I just want a partner who is supportive if i try solving my problems and be there instead of giving up easily on me. I don't want him to solve my problems. I just want a partner to be my side in my own journey
whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, M
@sahi81 Then you will need to offer your partner the same things you ask for..If you do, you will go furter together than either of you could alone..😷
Bleak · 36-40, F
Do you want to settle down??
sahi81 · 22-25, FNew
@dale74 were u not making enough money? even when u were making enough money for needs, she said to make more money?

And i heard such things happen to many ppl, their partner who keeps accusing of cheating, one day that partner is caught cheating. They r trying to project guilt or gaslight. Or their partner had trust issues from previous relationship.
dale74 · M
@sahi81 I'm not sure but from now on if I ever have someone that accuses me of cheating I will instantly suspect them of cheating. And the one that wanted me to make more was because she kept losing at the casino but yet if I wanted her to get help for it she says I make money at the casino well if you make money what happened to the 65 Grand.
sahi81 · 22-25, FNew
@dale74 she must be delusional 😅
SarahTheHooker · 26-30, F
I'm really not one to judge and, hey, my track record is pretty...erhhh...thin...in the relationship department.

In a nutshell; Only one boyfriend, ever, who is now my fiancé.

My job - my career - is that where such a thing should really not be achievable, but it has been for us, despite society's views. He's a good man and he sees in me a good woman.

Forget about attracting a partner and think more about attracting good people into your life. Then, the partner will follow when you least expect it.

Sarah 💋
SarahTheHooker · 26-30, F
@sahi81 The clues in the name, hun...
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SarahTheHooker · 26-30, F
@SomeMichGuy @sahi81 A 'Lady Of The Night'...oh, and afternoon's too! 😘
being · 36-40, F
Well dear only you can know...look within.
Let me also point out that there's a whole scale between the good and the bad.
I've had "good" guys who would reject my bad side, and I have had bad boys rejecting my good offerings. We're wholesome beings and we include all aspects...
dale74 · M
Well most good ones have given up. We go out we meet someone with the woman doesn't want to give a good man the time of day. So good men are like what's the point of wasting the effort. And in your age bracket it's really difficult. The good ones aren't even going out. And you got third of them that do nothing but stay in their parents house playing video games. The ones that are going out are not good for long-term investment. But if you go out with the bad ones and the good ones probably aren't going to want you. You could always try dating outside of your age bracket since the majority of men that are divorced were left by a woman because her friends keep telling her she could do better. Those men are actually normally 80% good men. I wish you the best of luck. But a lot of good men have quit looking I haven't really looked in probably 10 years back then I got married but her friends kept telling her she could do better so I'm divorced but I'm also not looking really I mean if the right one came along I would definitely get married again. Good luck to you.
dale74 · M
@sahi81 if you look at divorce statistics the cause of divorce 80% of the time it is the woman through a no-fault divorce that means there's no extenuating circumstances just they're tired of the marriage and they want to quit.
sahi81 · 22-25, FNew
@dale74 what are extenuating circumstances? From my personal experience, most women who initiated divorce i saw, had cheater or abusive type husbands.
dale74 · M
@sahi81 when people file for divorce there has to be a reason for the divorce in fidelity abuse irreconcilable differences something for a divorce to be granted. No the majority of the divorces are not done because one person necessarily cheated.

https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20220511-why-women-file-for-divorce-more-than-men
Try to fix yourself first.
sahi81 · 22-25, FNew
@Petruk fix what exactly about myself?
@sahi81 You keep on saying that most men you met were bad etc in your question, even questioned their existence. Well, maybe the problem is with you and not them. So fix yourself first before you’re trying to have any kind of relationship with them.
When I read all your questions before, you’re full of red flags. Maybe that’s another reason why many “good” man moving away from you.
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Nick1 · 61-69, M
Just let go of all negativity and longings.
Stay positive. Smile often. Slowly you will notice the change.
Good luck.
sahi81 · 22-25, FNew
@Nick1 I think my fears are stopping me for trying dating again. What if next partner also abuses me or betrays me, such things runs in my mind.i think I need to overcome my fears and insecurities
Nick1 · 61-69, M
@sahi81 Start living your day normal. Don’t look or worry about dating right now. When you become more positive, you will see the difference around you. Probably then it will happen.
KingofBones1 · 46-50, M
It would depend on your definition of good.

Do you mean good as in having a good heart. Good intentions. Good solid character. And backbone.

Or do you mean good as in well-monied, dashing in their skinny jeans, gallant when they stand in the Sun singing oh Yee maiden and putting their puddle in the raincoat?

Good is a very broad term. And has many different meanings to different people
justcallmenameless1 · 36-40, F
Better off alone
justanotherone · 51-55, M
Can you describe what a good man like?
justanotherone · 51-55, M
@sahi81 You start a relationship and they break up with you? Or they are the ones you like them but couldn't start to build something?
sahi81 · 22-25, FNew
@justanotherone no, i never been in relationship with anyone good. I only tried friending good ones and getting to know them. I couldn't be around 2 of them due to my own fears when they showed disappointment towards me when i made mistakes, did anything wrong or i didn't live up to their expectations, i avoided them due to fear of them disliking me at that time and another 2 ghosted me.
justanotherone · 51-55, M
@sahi81 I think that your fear is something you should work on a little bit. Also if these are online then do not have high hopes. Talking online is easy and disappearing is even more easier. Also you don't really know someone if you only talk online. This is not the real world.
DearAmbellina2113 · 41-45, F
I'm in the same boat. Quality men don't look twice at me. I think it's because I'm not a conventionally hot "trophy".
sahi81 · 22-25, FNew
@DearAmbellina2113 Maybe quality ones don't chase women or come in women's life as much as cheap-quality ones. Everyone have different preferences for looks, maybe some men do find u hot.
PaleandPolluted · 36-40, F
This exactly... anyone who has any decency tends to avoid me or chooses someone else. Think i understand some of it though.
Firestarter · 26-30, F
Just be nice and smile at everyone eventually they’ll see how good you are.
MrAverage1965 · 61-69, M
Maybe you are trying to hard.
sahi81 · 22-25, FNew
@MrAverage1965 i am trying to find solutions. They r helpful tbh. Nothing comes easy in life
Bang5luts · M
Look for ones that seem like they care or at least want to be friends with you first.
sahi81 · 22-25, FNew
@Bang5luts nooo , most men who come in my life as friends or like they care, only do that to get my body. I stopped having male friends and also getting close with men whom I don't know anything about. I carefully get to know everything about people before I allow them in my life or hey close to them
Bang5luts · M
@sahi81 how do you get to know them without talking with them?
sahi81 · 22-25, FNew
@Bang5luts observing and also talking. Both. 😅. Sry. I mean before wanting to get close to them i do both.

 
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