Love & Attraction > Relationships

Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds for FREE »

Does betrayal make you feel useless?

No, at first I feel angry and furious, after anger comes a feeling of sadness... But never worthless and useless... I don't value myself through other people's actions!

View 8 more replies »

SW-User

@DaughteroftheMoon wise words 👍

DaughteroftheMoon · 26-30, F

@SW-User Thanks😊💫

SW-User

@DaughteroftheMoon Very welcome 🙏

LadyGrace

No, because it's not about me. That type person has personal issues. Ones I don't need in my life. Learned from it.

Eklipse · F

@LadyGrace I actually agree. Their personal should therefore not reflect me whatsoever in the actions they've done. Right?

Still.... sometimes it just comes back to you.

Northwest · M

No. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me. Learn and move on.

View 1 more replies »

Northwest · M

@Eklipse Even the slightest attempt to take advantage of you, is taking it too far. It's all about the perspective, but it's never on you, so don't feel bad. Lesson learned and move on. Homo homini lupus.

LadyGrace

@Eklipse Sometimes we lie ourselves, because that's what we want to believe.

https://similarworlds.com/relationships/betrayal/4548412-Love-and-Betrayal-Tell-Yourself-the-Truth-and

Eklipse · F

@Northwest You could say that too. @LadyGrace the only thing I told myself was that he lied to me all along because that's how it feels.

SailorMarz · F

It's shocking lol I don't feel useless but I feel like...like I thought I was doing everything right and trying hard to be perfect, and that wasn't enough? Wow it's really just me?

But not useless lol

View 1 more replies »

SailorMarz · F

@Eklipse yeah next time just relax and be yourself instead of overextending yourself for nothing

Eklipse · F

@SailorMarz Wish I knew before.

LadyGrace

@SailorMarz You don't HAVE to be perfect.

https://similarworlds.com/relationships/betrayal/4548412-Love-and-Betrayal-Tell-Yourself-the-Truth-and

Abstraction · 61-69, M

It's really difficult to do but you have to, at least intellectually, recognise that when someone betrays you the flaw is within them.
But it can bring a sense of powerlessness. For a long time it can change the meaning of things because all your senses are asking what's real, where is the other person now, what can I trust?

View 6 more replies »

Eklipse · F

@Abstraction Yeah sure. I accept diff perspectives would be no point talking about it otherwise. However I got no availability to communicate or I'd have done it long ago. Waiting seems like torture.

Abstraction · 61-69, M

@Eklipse I'm sure. Betrayal hits at something fundamental within us. We choose to trust because without it we can't be vulnerable. Without vulnerability two people hide and just operate roles within a relationship and often never quite feel loved because they aren't quite known. My view anyway. I like depth in a relationship. I hope you find a way to express that pain - he deserves to hear it, you deserve to express it. And I hope next time around you find what you deserve.

This comment is hidden. Show Comment

LadyGrace

NO. It's not about you. I'm going to put a post up about that in one second and you'll see what I mean.

Eklipse · F

@LadyGrace Only consolation is I've tried. Guess I just failed but in reality humans are going to disappoint you in the end.

SW-User

Naww I just say to myself , what comes around goes around and move on 👍

View 2 more replies »

SW-User

@val70 Why is it harsh ? Just karma 🤷‍♂️

val70 · 51-55

@SW-User You're Buddhist then? 🤓

SW-User

@val70 I do tend to like a lot of there beliefs 😊

Allelse · 36-40, M

No it makes me feel like being violent.

Eklipse · F

@Allelse well yes I get those moments too....break everything surrounding me.

pianoplayingsteve · 31-35, M

@Eklipse *just walked into the room, slowly tiptoes out having heard this*

riseofthemachine · 41-45, M

Betrayal makes you feel pain .
It's hard then to get the person out of your head who you think you were close too , so you'd end up hurting yourself more and more again cause you hurt by someone who you thought you were looking for all the time who provides and adds to your happiness.
Thats my take on it

Eklipse · F

@riseofthemachine Well yes. I'm terrified of a repeat version. All my mind envisions are horrific events. I dunno what to do. I tried. I'm completely powerless and that's even more painful.

Iwillwait · M

It makes me feel like a Host.

View 9 more replies »

Iwillwait · M

@Eklipse What's coming?

Eklipse · F

@Iwillwait 🤦‍♀️

Iwillwait · M

@Eklipse i don't deal with having to read between the lines and passive behaviour.

SW-User

Makes me feel worthless

View 8 more replies »

Eklipse · F

@SW-User Its unfair.

SW-User

@Eklipse I know :(

Eklipse · F

@SW-User Does he even know the pain he's caused me? Sometimes I ask myself that. But it's useless anyway. He gabe up on me long ago.

thewindupbirdchronicles · 46-50, M

Yes, no? At first, absolutely - 110%. I wanted to evaporate and sink away from everyone. The one who you trusted the most, or hoped, has just gone and ruined all trust. Relationships take intimacy, vulnerability of some kind, and that feels you were entirely taken for granted, what you gave, gone... A shell. I spent how long fostering this relationship? Time? I gave you what? You felt for me how? The list of emotions to overtake you are too much.

I can only speak for myself, while it did all of those things, made me feel useless. I was able to see my love for her, I was able to express where I was hurt, she was able to express back, she was able to receive my hurt and emotions. I feel those are key, if a couple is to move on from.

Eklipse · F

@thewindupbirdchronicles Emotions make a person weak. The end.

MoonlightLullaby · 41-45, F

It did at first, but he always made me question my worth and tried to change me because I was too much.... too feely, too emotional, too sensitive, too intricate.

I think he regretted it after I moved on and someone else admired those traits. However, I learned to never let another person determine my worth. Ever. The experience also led me to self love and growth.

Best wishes to you.🌷

View 2 more replies »

Eklipse · F

@MoonlightLullaby I'm convinced some day justice will be served. Just not right now. 🌸💙

MoonlightLullaby · 41-45, F

@Eklipse It's pertinent to feel what you need to feel for now so you can heal. I forgot to mention that important detail.🌹

Eklipse · F

@MoonlightLullaby Makes sense to me 🌹

Lilymoon · F

It makes me feel angry and sad at the same time

Eklipse · F

@Lilymoon Sadness isn't always worth it.

Lilymoon · F

@Eklipse yeah...you have a point

Henal · 26-30, F

It makes me distrustful of others.

Eklipse · F

@Henal Same.

LilPrincess · 41-45, F

Absolutely

Eklipse · F

@LilPrincess 🏵️

AngelKrish · 26-30, M

🥺i wanna say but I can't choose words when i get too nervous..

View 4 more replies »

Eklipse · F

@AngelKrish Thank you for the post. Uplifts me 🌹

AngelKrish · 26-30, M

@Eklipse Your welcome and your post reminded me of my past and boosts me more to move on ...and be more stronger than before...
Thanks for your post too! 😊🌹

Eklipse · F

@AngelKrish Glad to hear it's helped you. That's positive to hear esp for me 🌹

CestManan · 46-50, F

You cannot hold people to a high enough standard that would put them in a position to betray.

Eklipse · F

@CestManan If I have respect and loyalty I'd expect the same to a certain extent.

CestManan · 46-50, F

@Eklipse It can be hard to come by unfortunately.

Eklipse · F

@CestManan Yeah.

SW-User

If they take it too far, yes. Been on the receiving end of that. Not so much useless but dead inside

Eklipse · F

@SW-User It's terrible. Like a dead end isn't it?

SW-User

@Eklipse Yes, the kind that you feel doesn't have an exit

Eklipse · F

@SW-User probably you'll move on eventually but the experience lingers.

taneegoan · 31-35, F

really careless about what they did with me , i just forgive them as I know and believe God and time will treat them according to their act

Eklipse · F

@taneegoan I'm not willing to forgive. Dammit. Endless days of darkness, confusion, pain, longing. Maybe I'll forgive them but first they face me face face and we settle things.

NotSureAboutMyUserName · 31-35, M

Yes, sometimes it breaks your heart.

Sometimes it damages you so hard that you don't want to have similar relationship with anyone else for a long time.

Eklipse · F

@NotSureAboutMyUserName Hell no. I don't want anyone invading my life like that again. No way.

PepsiColaP

It depends on the context , many different types of betrayal, but generally the common denominator is foolery . I feel stupid

Eklipse · F

@PepsiColaP That too. Way beyond stupid.

Lyfis2live

Nothing like [i]betrayal [/i]exists.
Either you love yourself or you don't.

Enjoy being guarded.
Best!

Eklipse · F

@Lyfis2live It's not just about loving yourself. If you care about yourself you wouldnt do it to begin with.

Lyfis2live

@Eklipse Alright then.
Keep enjoying your versions, your way with your pitchfork. Your dungeon. Your guards. Your skunks regardless.

Simple as that!

Speakyourmind · 26-30, M

No. Rather it strengthens my resolve to pull myself up and start again. You are precious and deserve better. Don’t give up.

Eklipse · F

@Speakyourmind I've had lots of that resolve. There's a limit for all. Thank you 🌹

496sbc · 36-40, M

Yeah

View 5 more replies »

496sbc · 36-40, M

@Eklipse but see I always tell u if i cant keep my promise. So that way if i say / listen i may ir not be able to do this so i can't promise anything. Its true. But if i do say i promise u i will it's because i have a plan and can make it work

Eklipse · F

@496sbc that's up to you but I dont make any. Im through with it.

496sbc · 36-40, M

@Eklipse ik hun

BacarySagnasleftankle

No. It makes me seek vengeance. I'm not one to let disloyalty go unpunished.

Eklipse · F

@BacarySagnasleftankle Sometimes it's now always possible to seek revenge.

Whyme · 46-50, M

Makes me feel alive rejection sux but ya get use to it

Eklipse · F

@Whyme There's direct rejection and indirect. Indirect happens when a person persues terrible things without taking you into account like your words and loyalty hold no value. A nobody. That's betrayal to me.