Shouldn't need to check but it wouldn't have worried me if my husband had wanted to see anything on my phone. We had no secrets.

We gave each other our passwords incase of an emergency if one of us dies, etc. I've never looked at his and he's never looked at mine.

The moment you use the word ‘checking,’ it already shows mistrust. Every person—married or not—deserves basic privacy. But at the same time, keeping passwords hidden from each other also isn’t healthy in a long-term relationship. The balance is simple: transparency without policing, and privacy without secrecy.

I find the fact that "scorpiolovedeep" asked this so real. Such a scorpio thing to ask.

As a scorpio, no. Don't go looking for hurt. You'll only end up finding it.

If you don't trust the person you love, how can you have a fulfilling relationship with them? You will constantly be questioning them. That is not a relationship, that is an inquisition.

My wife and I don't look at each other's phones. I believe it's personal. We might look up things that we don't want to share, not necessarily other people like cheating but other personal things. Cell phones are kinda like the modern day diary. It records what we are thinking about in a way.

Allowed? By who, the other partner I presume?
That's between each couple, not others. Why is their phone my business? It really isn't.They aren't a child nor am I their mother.

My consensus is this:

If you have to hide from your partner, what you're doing, it's wrong. And we're not talking about surprise birthday parties, here.

From a Biblical perspective, the concept of marriage and relationships is viewed as a sacred covenant between two people, emphasizing commitment, loyalty, and faithfulness. In this context, seeking sexual gratification outside of the marriage or committed relationship can be seen as a breach of that covenant.

Matthew 19:6: "So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate."

Hebrews 13:4: "Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept undefiled, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

These verses highlight the importance of commitment, loyalty, and faithfulness in relationships. Trust, respect, commitment, faithfulness, and honesty, are essential components of any relationship.

I think people should have their privacy. I certainly don't want people, or even if I were married, my husband checking up on me all time, as if I were guilty of something. That's mistrust. That's control. Where there's no trust, there's no relationship. I would give him no reason to feel like he had to check up on me all the time, anyway, being an honest person and up front. Everyone deserves their privacy. If a partner has to constantly check the other's phone, that's not trust. That's suspicion, and control.

Checking it means distrust. Right
Not allowing to pick up a call when some one is in washroom or away for nay reasons, is also a sign of distrust.

I believe it should be spontaneous, if it happens for any natural reasons, without the intention of checking it on purpose.

She always had open access to all my communication means, includding phone.
I never felt the need to check her´s.

Of course, that implicit agreement may not apply to other people and their relationships

My husband can always check mine.

We don’t do stuff like that. We are open with each other

if they've got nothing to hide then they have nothing to fear

I don't have anything to hide

Yes why not

When I was working I had a company phone, so that was confidential as all it contained was clients name and number, and contacts at banks and debt collectors etc etc

Should couples even be interested to do so? I would hope not... "allowing" isn't necessary when there's no need for it.

I'm an open book and there's nothing and no one that would cause me to jeopardize what i waited a lifetime to have. Whats mine is his so its his phone too.

That's up to the partners. Every relationship has different boundaries.

We don't hide anything from each other.

No, unless you have money to afford therapy

She is more than welcome to look through my phone.

One word TRUST

No. They should be able to be trusted without their partner having to snoop.
If they are being deceitful in any way, given time it will come out.

Oh god! I've had relationships in which, maybe I should have checked their phones, but in general? I don't think it's a wise idea.

There needs to be trust, right?

🤔

I only when they have decided that the relationship at an end and they hope to find an excuse to blame the other party for ending it.

What about privacy of your spouses friends. Maybe they are having a private chat. Should I look at all her conversations with her friends?

Allowed is the wrong word here....

There should never be a need to check their phones.

Yes. If you're not doing anything wrong you have nothing to worry about.

It wouldn't bother me if my husband wanted to look at my phone. I got nothing to hide

Checking someone’s phone shouldn’t even be a concern in a relationship.

I buy the phones. They are my property.

I would prefer not to let a partner not because I would be doing anything behind her back but because I socialize with lots of women on a routine basis and it's all just friend type stuff but she don't need to be feeling all that jealousy. ain't even about me, I worry about h urting her feelings.

Would you want your husband to rifle through your other personal stuff? Diary's and photo albums about previous dates, your underwear and cosmetics? Going on shouldn't be necessary.

If not then NO!

If you feel you have to be watching your partner like a hawk then there isnt trust. The relationship probably wont work out.

It depends on how trusting they are. My wife and I have complete access to each other's phone, but we almost never use that access.

My wife knows my phone's password and I know her phone's password. We never know when we need to answer the other person's phone.

My wife and I can access each other's phones. We trust each other.

Only with the permission of their partner...

Allowed? I suppose so. Should they do it? No.

Well, is this assuming that there is no strict parent in charge of two consenting adults?

When I was married to the ex, I had NOTHING to hide, except perhaps an excess of shopping. And yet he used to root through my handbag searching for Heaven knows what.

There is NO defense for a violation of innocent privacy.

Why? Have you something to hide?

Mandatory!

There is something called personal life, which I totally respect, but does personal life mean sharing nudes with people via phone or having an affair and still pretending to be loyal? If not, then there shouldn't be any secrets or fear of sharing phones/laptops. After getting into a relationship, two people become one. And one can't escape from one.

No I don't need to. But if I suspect something of him. I'm going to ask him first, see how he responds and then investigate further or walk away.

I have nothing to hide, so I wouldn't mind.
But my husband is very protective of his phone, as if I care about what he's up to...

If the relationship is serious, then yes. Just in case of an emergency..