There once was a fellow named Joe
Whose hands didn’t know the word “no”.
A caress of the hair
Or a young derriere
And off to the White House you go.

Three entries, all risqué.

1.
[i]Her passions were NOT soon extinguished,
For his skills were superb, most distinguished.
Of tongues, he spoke four,
And she moaned for yet more,
As he said, “I’m a MOSHT cunning linguisht!”
[/i]

2.
[i]There’s a secret to share just between us:
A girl can dispense with a penis
By rubbing her slit,
Circumscribing her clit,
A technique known as ‘orbiting Venus.’[/i]

My third entry is a sequel to the well-known classic limerick:
There was a young lady named Sally,
Who enjoyed the occasional dally.
She sat on the lap
Of a well-endowed chap,
And cried “Sir! You’re right up my alley!”

My sequel:

3.
[i]The well-endowed chap then replied,
With words to the point, cut and dried:
He said, “My dear Sally,
Your valley and alley
Are MUCH to my liking ― inside.”
[/i]

There once was a sheep named Dolly
Who said it was certainly Folly
To live here in Wales
Down in the Vales
With a pet parrot named Polly.

There once was a former EP girl
Who was lost till she stumbled on SimilarWorlds
In less than an hour
She needed a shower
But she cried "It's okay! The PMs make my hair curl!"

I’m late but here goes anyway -

I knew a Professor called Plum…
There were tales of his fondness for rum.
Romances were written…
The ladies were smitten…
Oh, he knew that he had a nice bum. ;)

I once knew a man named Lou
Who fancied a girl named Sue
She ignored his advances
But he kept taking chances
Until one day she said "you'll do"

Now you'd think things all turned out rosy
But the neighbors they became quite nosey
Poor bastard never even had a clue
When they caught him making love at the zoo!

A "hard"-working man from Nantucket
Carried his lunch in a bucket.
His wife got a thirst
His trousers they burst
He told her she might as well suck it.

There once was a Welshman SirFurry
Who said it has got a bit blurry
He had lost his specs
Falling down the steps
And fell in heap sounding slurry

there was a young man from Nantuckit...
and the rumours were grossly over exaggerated..

A famous Welsh shepherd called Bill
Lived high on a very steep hill
Where he farmed the Highland Haggis
With his wife the young wench Agnes
And her brother the fat bloke named Phil.

Dedicated to a favorite historical figure, Julie d'Aubigny.

There once was a singer named Julie.
Who’s operatic talents shone truly.
But it’s more than a hunch
That her sword skills had punch.
Her enemies felt a little penetration before lunch.

I can’t think of anything rhyming…
My words, they’re just not aligning!
Or perhaps I’m just tipsy.
Sure…lets blame the whiskey!🙄
It’s the boozes and my shitty timing.🤷🏻‍♀️

Lol ok I’m done

[c=800000]I have selected the three winning entries. It was hard to reach a decision. There were several great entries. Thank you to everyone for your contributions!!! [/c]

There was a time-frittering MILF
Squeezable, not quite a sylph
She loved the word games
Wholesome or flames
She got a good laugh from the filth!

[center][/center]

There once was a fella named Rick
Who started to date this hot chick
But brief was romance
For tucked in her pants
was a much larger dick.

There once was a catfish named Joni
Who fooled all the men with baloney.
They thought she was sweet
Her pics were a treat
But dear Joni's yoni was phony!

Sorry I missed this contest. 😞

Looks like it was a lot of fun, though. Next time!

There once was a cat named The Claw
Whom I always thought of as Ma
Then we started to fight
Late into the night
So now we're apart
That's the law.

There was a young girl named Sapphire
Who succumbed to her lover's desire.
She said, "It's a sin
But now that it's in
Could you shove it a few inches higher?

There once was a knight from Bates, Who went around on rollerskates. He fell on His cutlass, Which left Him quite nutless, And also quite useless on dates !

There once was a Rabbi from Peru, Who was vainly attempting to screw. His wife said "Or Vey" If You keep up this way, The Messiah will cum before You !

[c=800000]Some of the early entries are pretty impressive! [/c]