What's the best comeback to an insult that you've ever given/heard?

Years ago, I was with my mother in a hardware store and a guy was working in the cooking department and was obviously subbing, because he had no clue about many of the appliances.

To make things worse, he was impatient and condescending with everyone. Someone asked about a French press, which he knew nothing about and he gave the customer a short, off-the-wall answer about its use.

Mom lost her temper and, "No, that’s not how it works.
If you must be rude, you could at least be right."

When I'm criticized if it's valid I say thx for reminding me. If it isn't I don't feel insulted.

For myself there isn't really such things as insults given. Insults are things people do to themselves by speaking when they shouldn't or thinking when they don't need to.

There's nothing like a dull ending to a bad observation... except a bad observer with a dull criticism.

One time at a class alumni party, I was wearing my hair long and this one guy remarked that I would and I quote: "Look good with my hair in pigtails, to which I retorted: "Yeah, right! And maybe I'll wear a sailor top and miniskirt, with it!"

Thats nice....

This guy said something I gave him back
He changed his expression and said I am sorry ( like the tone when you say come again)
I said .. you should be

Sarcasm usually works or alternatively 'I'm not going to dignify that with an answer'. Or, depending on what it is and if it's correct, use diplomacy - it usually leaves them speechless.

I usually think of those two weeks later...🤣🤣🤣. In the moment I usually just stand there quietly looking shocked! ☺☺☺

Your mom!

Comebacks don't come out of mouth when insulted. It always catches me off guard. Especially, when I am feeling or looking ugly.

The Truth!

Someone told me that nobody cares about me, and I said, thanks, nobody cares about you too!

"You're right! just not in the head"

Interviewer: “Frank, you have long hair. Are you a girl?”

Frank Zappa: “You have a wooden leg. Are you a table?”

So's yer mom!

I just leave if people start insulting each other.

I once told a guy that he shouldn't drink on an empty head.
Also if brains were dynamite you wouldn't have enough to ruffle your hair.

A huge smile on my face and I said thank you. The guy was so upset his face turned beat red. I thought he was going to have a heart attack. Lol!!! 🤣