How do we make friends as adults? I work from home, finished up grad school and never made a...

itsok · 31-35, F

I think finding consistent things outside the house that either you like to do or that help is a good start. I met several of my closest friends in group therapy throughout my adult years, and of all my friendships those have been the longest lasting ones. Two were frequenting restaurants by myself- one I’d go to every Saturday evening and bring a book while I had dinner, and it eventually turned into a book club which then turned into playing animal crossing new leaf together. The other I made friends with someone who worked at a restaurant and we found out we were both Jewish, and now she’s my best friend. Another friend I met shopping and when we see each other like every 6 months we’ll make a plan to get our nails done or go shopping, and I enjoy those occasional friends too.
So just going out to the same places has worked for me. I know that some people find success by joining groups for moms or hiking or game night, and some people use bumble bff and that works for them.

redredred · M

Step one. Decide what interests you. Do you like the outdoors? Gardening? Skydiving? Swimming?
Step two. Find a group or a club or a venue where such activities are common or are are dedicated to it
Step three. Join up, go to meetings or on hikes or whatever the group likes to do.

I have an old friend who loves golf. He joined a local (not fancy) country club specifically to find a girlfriend who also liked golf. He did! They’ve been married for years and he never gets an argument when he wants to go play golf.

Tastyfrzz · 61-69, M

I'm finding that my lack of good boundaries is making having close friends very difficult. We all have problems right? My typical inclination as an engineer is to try and fix things. With people that is difficult. Most problems people have are monetary. Some are addiction or health related. We can only do so much. Any more and we become part of the problem I guess. Perhaps it is better for someone like me to be alone. That's why i just asked on here what of three options is worse.

Stephie · 22-25, F

It should not really be too difficult. Don't try to be someone you are not. Being natural is the best way to make friendships because if you fake to be what you are not, people will find out sooner or later and then you may lose a friendship.

Go out of your comfort zone and get out. Take up a hobby or join a club of similarly minded people that share something that you like. The rest will fall automatically in place and you can create great friendships.

However, be cautious about those superficial people that will betray you and stab you in the back when you need them or ask them for a favor.

Also, when online, be selective who you befriend. Not everyone is who they pretend to be and mainly on social media, keep a healthy distance and don't share visuals that you know will be lost to you forever. Good luck.

reflectingmonkey · 51-55, M

I had dificult period a few years ago and I went to do volunteer work. it was really helpful to meet people and feel good about myself . only nice people do volunteer work so you meet the nicest people.

IamBack · 31-35, M

It’s not easy, especially in a new country, I’m trying to be more social and it helps but making friends now in my mid thirties is actually challenging

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ZashaKitty · 26-30, F

I wish i knew. I have always had trouble making friends. I am very socially shy and as an adult it definitely gets harder to make new friends

markinkansas · 61-69, M

i have some of those same problems.. mindfullness helps . or if ya need to just talk message me
[media=https://youtu.be/7CBfCW67xT8]
[media=https://youtu.be/zmEgH6i3HWE]
message me and dont be alone.. some people do care you are not alone

Adogslife · 61-69, M

Leaving the house is a good first step.

Try a legit dating site. You can cull through people that show interest to see what friendship might work. Dates for most women are easy to come by.