Last night was one of the worst nights of our lives

I don't even know what to say right now. I'm numb, pissed off, sad and scared out of my mind. My buddy tried to take his own life last night. Like I've posted before, he's been struggling bad. He was staying with us, he had been drinking to much, he'd been stepping down from his cases at work. He's been very depressed. He just started seeing my therapist and just started depression meds.

So it was after the kids went to bed. He sat outside with us and didn't say anything. He didn't have a cigar or a drink. That is very odd. I asked him if he was ok. He said no and he was sorry. Then all of a sudden he got very dizzy and almost passed out. Joel and I freak out and decided to call 911. He had taken some things but we didn't know what. When the paramedics got there his heart was barely beating and they asked us if I knew what he look. I keep most my meds locked up. Joel and I are the only ones that know where the key is and the code to lock box. There is only one med I don't keep locked up and that's my heart medications. I keep it in the cabinet in our bathroom so it's easier to get to.

I ran to our room and checked and sure enough the bottle was empty. There should of been 7 pills in their.

I told them what he'd taken. The rest of the night was kinda a blur. Grandma came over to stay with the kids so we could go to the hospital. It was touch and go there for a while but they got him stable. He's in intensive care right now. Joel is staying with him and I've gone home to wait for Star to get home. She went out with her friends last night and her phone was been off. She has no idea what her father did last night.

The kids don't know yet either. They were asleep when it happened. They will spend the day with Grandma. I'll tell them later.

So know I'm just waiting to her. What happened. She should be home in any time now. I don't know how to tell her what happened.