OKWTF2 · 51-55, M
Not weak at all, life sucks without a forgiving heart. Just no way to live. Forgiving does not change the betrayal and uncertainty of the relationship between the two. Relationship are hard and always changing and to last a long time require work and not just love. A lot of people do not know or ever learn that.
The intent of the question seems to be if they can forgive and stay together, just not sure. Forgiveness of the act and betrayal is not alone, the lost of trust will be a challenge to rebuild more and much harder to accomplish.
The intent of the question seems to be if they can forgive and stay together, just not sure. Forgiveness of the act and betrayal is not alone, the lost of trust will be a challenge to rebuild more and much harder to accomplish.
DrWatson · 70-79, M
I am more familiar with the roles reversed. I know of a few cases in which a wife discovered the husband was cheating.
None of the women, naturally enough, simply shrugged it off.
In one case, the marriage ended in divorce.
In two other cases, after a long period in which the husband went to counselling, the couple went to counselling, the husband participated in an ongoing recovery program for sex addiction, AND the wife saw changes in the husband's behavior in other areas of the marriage, especially regarding how he treated her and reacted to her concerns, the wife eventually could forgive, because she had confidence that the husband had changed and was consciously working a lifetime effort of improving himself spiritually and emotionally.
I would not consider such a wife to be weak. I would call her courageous and strong.
If you reverse the genders in the above, I would come to the same conclusion.
None of the women, naturally enough, simply shrugged it off.
In one case, the marriage ended in divorce.
In two other cases, after a long period in which the husband went to counselling, the couple went to counselling, the husband participated in an ongoing recovery program for sex addiction, AND the wife saw changes in the husband's behavior in other areas of the marriage, especially regarding how he treated her and reacted to her concerns, the wife eventually could forgive, because she had confidence that the husband had changed and was consciously working a lifetime effort of improving himself spiritually and emotionally.
I would not consider such a wife to be weak. I would call her courageous and strong.
If you reverse the genders in the above, I would come to the same conclusion.
Graylight · 51-55, F
No.
Infidelity is only a symptom of a deeper issue, and it typically involves both parties. In not one other area of life to we excise people for one mistake; why end all the minor and major successes of a relationship for one infraction? Relationships take work and anyone not willing to honor that shouldn't take one on.
Infidelity is only a symptom of a deeper issue, and it typically involves both parties. In not one other area of life to we excise people for one mistake; why end all the minor and major successes of a relationship for one infraction? Relationships take work and anyone not willing to honor that shouldn't take one on.
Thespis · M
No, I think that's his choice. It wouldn't be weak to forgive, forgiveness is never weak it's one of the hardest things to do.
No…. If he did it only once and out of love…

SW-User
@Soossie 🧐
📝 Noted 😌
📝 Noted 😌

SW-User
Depends on the situation. Forgiveness requires repentance. That’s a biblical standard. If she (he in vice versa truly repents and is actively making amends), the they are not weak per se. It can be justified. But it’s very situationally dependent.
Muthafukajones · 46-50, M
It is not weakness but the root cause must be ascertained. The problem must be remedied and if no remedy exist then the relationship should end.
Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F
No, I would not judge him that way people can recover from infidelity it takes a lot of work and both partners realizing it can't happen again.
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samueltyler2 · 80-89, M
it really depends on the circumstance, and how often. I would think he was strong if they could work it out amicably.
Northwest · M
Forgiveness is not weakness, but that relationship is doomed, and he needs to get out.
Northwest · M
@WendyLopez43
i don't buy into the "I was drunk" excuse. She cheated for a reason, and until that's addressed, the relationship is doomed.
No chance she could turn over a new leaf and never do something like that again?
i don't buy into the "I was drunk" excuse. She cheated for a reason, and until that's addressed, the relationship is doomed.
WendyLopez43 · 26-30, F
@Northwest I think it's stress because they haven't had much finding a house.
Northwest · M
@WendyLopez43
Never heard this before (really). That's an excuse.
I think it's stress because they haven't had much finding a house.
Never heard this before (really). That's an excuse.
GerOttman · 61-69, M
Not if she properly humbled herself before him and accepted cheerfully his chastisement!
MountainMonk89 · 51-55, M
Forgiveness isn't weakness; but bitterness might be.
Whyme · 46-50, M
I dunno I think it would depend on who it was with
SarithBorn · 18-21, M
not weak, but i wouldn't take them back. 😇
WendyLopez43 · 26-30, F
@SarithBorn What if he did take her back after she humbled herself?
SarithBorn · 18-21, M
@WendyLopez43 I wouldn't know i have zero tolerance for that sort of thing. but if he was willing to fair play i suppose. 😇
rachelsj · 22-25, F
No i wouldn't. Would you?
WendyLopez43 · 26-30, F
@rachelsj Nah.
Outdoorfreedom · 56-60, M
No, maybe strong.
1490wayb · 56-60, M
no...it requires strength
wonkywinky · 51-55, M
Man or Woman its wrong.If you fancy another person break up first at least.
Graylight · 51-55, F
@wonkywinky Life isn't always that neat and tidy and not all dalliances are about attraction.
wonkywinky · 51-55, M
Yes.
exexec · 70-79, C
No
bgjb58 · M
No
DunningKruger · 61-69, M
I don't think I would say "weak." Has she apologized and is she genuinely repentant? Or is it clear that she doesn't care about his feelings and will do it again? If the latter, I might consider him foolish, but I don't think wanting to hold onto a relationship with someone you love makes one weak.
WendyLopez43 · 26-30, F
@DunningKruger apologized/felt extremally guilty
DunningKruger · 61-69, M
@WendyLopez43 Then no, that isn't weak. Being willing to forgive someone who has hurt you takes a pretty serious level of strength.
MrGoodbar · 51-55, M
@WendyLopez43 He might use that guilt to make the wife feel inferior and in the end be in the dominate position in the relationshipe
calicuz · 56-60, M
No, but if it were to happen again I would suggest seriously leaving her then.
Once can be a moment of weakness, but the second time is sign of bad habits developing.
Once can be a moment of weakness, but the second time is sign of bad habits developing.
JohnOinger · 41-45, M
Thats why Open Marriages both Adults Agree sleeping with other people
ronisme1 · 61-69, M
Yes, he is weak, I forgave her and then she continued without my knowledge. The forgiveness was a waste of time
Rhode57 · 56-60, M
No but sadly its a fact most do

SW-User
Yes
Yes.
chubbysteve99 · 56-60, M
nope
Ozdharma · 61-69, M
No
Very weak
WolfGirlwh0r3 · 36-40, T
if they are in a Polyamorous relationship then no, if we are talking being unfaithful, i think he is Nieve, as if it happens once then it will happen again... like i knew with my ex i got her from her being unfaithful with me, and so when she fucked her ex i wasnt surprised, i wanted to forgive her as she claimed to be drunk, but i also accepted that it was very probably over.
yes. I kicked mine out. hardest thing ever but I did it because she a hoe
akindheart · 61-69, F
well depends. Yes if he forgives, no, he is stupid if he goes back. Whatever was wrong in the relationship will continue to happen and infidelity will continue
WendyLopez43 · 26-30, F
@akindheart My older brother has a girlfriend who got drunk and slept with her ex. She admitted it and felt extremally guilty, so he forgave her and decided to stay with her.
akindheart · 61-69, F
@WendyLopez43 how are they now?

SW-User
Not weak. Just dumb.
JohnOinger · 41-45, M
No just dumb
basilfawlty89 · 36-40, M
I wouldn't think him weak, but I'd think he's being stupid.
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empanadas · 31-35, M
Almost always yes, if he hasn't cheated on her.
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