I should be happy my husband died quickly??? He may have suffered longer had he lived.

Sometimes there are no silver linings, and someone who has experienced such a world shattering loss isn’t looking for one where none exist. There are events in life without a bright side, and it’s more hurtful than some people can imagine when they insist on confronting you with one they’ve theorized. I’m sorry for your loss and sorry that people who don’t understand mistakenly believe that they do.

My childhood friend wasn't wrong when he said to me, many years later, 'at least your Died drowned where he loved being on a lake' But it cut my heart out, when it was only days before, my Dad died drowning to hear those words.

I knew how my father loved being on water. His presence was always glowing when he was on a boat, a canoe, like his heart knew no other place. But I could still not see how this needed to be said, it's trivializing my grief and his meaning to me.

I wanted to say back, 'you think anyone have their last gasps of air and life, watching themselves die a slow death, as drowning is, wouldn't want one more chance be with who they love?'

I'm sorry, people are almost intolerable when you are dealing with grief. They have no clue what you are going through in grief and lose sight of meanings. And my story, doesn't come with he was better off because he was struggling, but telling me it was how he would have wanted to die. I know my father, he would have wanted every chance to say goodbye.

My heart pours out to you in this lonely time, where it feels there is no one who can understand you or even see you.

I think people in general are at a loss for words in this kind of situation. They want to show concern and respect but end up stepping in it when maybe the best thing to say is nothing and please let me know if you need anything.

This sounds like something a friend of mine would say. Some people seem to have to give contrast to every bad situation by trying to point out how much worse it could have been without taking into consideration that their contrast doesn't make the real situation any better. They seem to focus too much on their method than your reality

I'm sorry for your loss

That's something that my mother would have said.

I mean, it's alright that my "dad" physically abused me to the point where I dissociate and scream to this day - at least he didn't sexually abuse me.

No, mum, you were the only one who was doing that.

I try to understand them both, but I lack the logic to see their thinking in matters such as this.

We all deal with that kind of grief differently. My wife fought for almost a year. And although I am grateful for the time we had, I'm not sure it was worth the suffering.

I know that this is a horrible, just about unbearable time. Made even worse by the stupid things people say. The only things I found somewhat helpful were grief support groups, one through an organization called GriefShare, another through a local hospital. And a Facebook group I joined for widows and widowers. I just felt compelled to connect with people who knew exactly what I was going through. Talking about it with anyone else, even the most well meaning, usually felt like nails on a chalkboard.

You’ll find people don’t know how to process just how profound your loss truly is. They have no frame of reference. At least that’s what I experienced.

Nobody really knows what to say when someone else's loved one dies. People who say things that hurt your feelings most likely mean well, the words just come out wrong...

I'm glad my dad's suffering is over

but still pissed that he's dead and so many other bas*)*)( are still walking the earth

you just grieve however you need to

The only person who can answer this question is you, his time was up and would you be able to look after a person who is in a vegetation state and cannot do anything for himself