I should be happy my husband died quickly??? He may have suffered longer had he lived.

Opinions such as this are intolerable, insensitive, and cruel
.
How about if I wished he didn't die at all?
Didn't suffer at all?
How in the world can people think anyone who says that their loved one died too quickly could ever feel they wanted them to suffer short or long time?
And they should be happy about their death?

Please do not come on here and argue with me.
I'm in more than enough pain already.... Anybody trying to convince me it was a great thing my husband died is just going to be deleted and if they persist they will be blocked.

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BamPow · 51-55, M Best Comment

Sometimes there are no silver linings, and someone who has experienced such a world shattering loss isn’t looking for one where none exist. There are events in life without a bright side, and it’s more hurtful than some people can imagine when they insist on confronting you with one they’ve theorized. I’m sorry for your loss and sorry that people who don’t understand mistakenly believe that they do.

Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F

@BamPow Yes,no comfort in such words.
Glad someone understands

Livingwell · 61-69, M

I think people in general are at a loss for words in this kind of situation. They want to show concern and respect but end up stepping in it when maybe the best thing to say is nothing and please let me know if you need anything.

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Livingwell · 61-69, M

@Justmeraeagain Ugh! I'm sure they didn't mean it the way it came out. Perfect example to just show support.

HootyTheNightOwl

That's something that my mother would have said.

I mean, it's alright that my "dad" physically abused me to the point where I dissociate and scream to this day - at least he didn't sexually abuse me.

No, mum, you were the only one who was doing that.

I try to understand them both, but I lack the logic to see their thinking in matters such as this.

carpediem · 61-69, M

You’ll find people don’t know how to process just how profound your loss truly is. They have no frame of reference. At least that’s what I experienced.

Pretzel · 70-79, M

I'm glad my dad's suffering is over

but still pissed that he's dead and so many other bas*)*)( are still walking the earth

you just grieve however you need to

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Pretzel · 70-79, M

@Justmeraeagain the kind that just doesn't know what to say and wants to say something

and I wish people wouldn't say "I'm sorry for your loss" like I had misplaced my keys.

they're dead.

say "I'm sorry for your pain"

Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F

@Pretzel I do say I'm sorry for your loss, but I can see your point
I am always afraid of saying way too much and sounding fake.
I think maybe saying I'm sorry this happened to you would be better.

Pretzel · 70-79, M

@Justmeraeagain oh a hug if you know them well enough

and a "love you" would be good too

nedkelly · 61-69, M

The only person who can answer this question is you, his time was up and would you be able to look after a person who is in a vegetation state and cannot do anything for himself

Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F

@nedkelly that is not the point he was not a vegetable before he got cancer I didn't want him to die I would never want him to suffer it doesn't make me happy he died early

nedkelly · 61-69, M

@Justmeraeagain I wonder if you are going through the angry phase of grief, it took me about 8 years to forgive my son for passing away. I know that you are struggling with his death remember the good times and stay strong 🥰😇

Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F

@nedkelly I do recognize that there is an angry phase but I don't need people telling me it was a good thing that my husband died early I just don't need that

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