I should be happy my husband died quickly??? He may have suffered longer had he lived.

My childhood friend wasn't wrong when he said to me, many years later, 'at least your Died drowned where he loved being on a lake' But it cut my heart out, when it was only days before, my Dad died drowning to hear those words.

I knew how my father loved being on water. His presence was always glowing when he was on a boat, a canoe, like his heart knew no other place. But I could still not see how this needed to be said, it's trivializing my grief and his meaning to me.

I wanted to say back, 'you think anyone have their last gasps of air and life, watching themselves die a slow death, as drowning is, wouldn't want one more chance be with who they love?'

I'm sorry, people are almost intolerable when you are dealing with grief. They have no clue what you are going through in grief and lose sight of meanings. And my story, doesn't come with he was better off because he was struggling, but telling me it was how he would have wanted to die. I know my father, he would have wanted every chance to say goodbye.

My heart pours out to you in this lonely time, where it feels there is no one who can understand you or even see you.