Am I just mean?

There may be more to the story that your boyfriend hasn't told you. In such a case, it might be best to lean toward compassion.

I would disregard others here attacking Nyctophobia as a childhood syndrome, I've met a couple of adults with it, including a homeless man who had to sleep directly under a street lamp in the rain, without shelter of any kind, because of his extreme fear of the dark- and he was quite muscular.

At this point she is going to need to see a therapist capable of prescribing medications. She's likely to have panic attacks if you follow people here, you don't see this in her because her brother just got used to managing the onset of symptoms, but life will suck for you if the power goes out for a few days.

Once on meds, it's baby steps, the inhibitors don't override the conditioned response, just makes it less severe when learning to cope. Is she so far gone that she is afraid of her own shadows?

Some people have childhood trauma and if they were sexually abused as a kid they will be afraid of the dark sometimes even leading into early adulthood. I was one of those kids and I still sleep with a nightlight because I don’t want to be all the way in the dark.

We're all different, anxious about different things....

23 is still young, and thats actually really nice that your bf is being thoughtful and smart. Lol Itd be red flags if he was cruel to her.

There is the age old gadget known as Torch light that she can fit it in her hand like a watch. And there is always glow material torches that he can place in every nook and corner.

I agree. Unless she is some kind of special needs, that's weird.

I think you are thinking how much simpler (easier?) your relationship would be if it were him and you....yes?

Unless she finds an accommodating partner, one day she's going to live on her own. How is she going to manage?

We don't know why she is so afraid. But at her age, I suspect she is suffering from a very severe childhood trauma and has never sought treatment.

Is she the youngest?

Maybe she’s developmentally delayed. A lot of people forget this or if she has some form of physical condition that isn’t visible like being half blind. Or maybe he’s just a sweet brother

If shes not someone who isnt special needs its definitely strange. Especially at 23.

Such a caring boyfriend you have 👍🏻.

I hope she realizes that by the time your baby is born, her brother's attention will no longer be focused on her. She seems to have a lot of issues and it's definitely not a good idea to let your newborn near her. Maybe she had parental issues when she was a child but it looks like your boyfriend's sister needs therapy.

Sounds like the sister runs the show 🤷‍♀

@Mellowgirl 🤔really you cannot be critical as a lot of us have a rational fears or phobia of something and once it is a mind set it is difficult too alter sadly

No idea what her problem might be, but so what? If he wants to help her, good for him. Whatever works for them.

From your comments, I find myself wondering if she’s autistic.

23 is not young. She is an adult and if she truly is afraid of the dark that’s concerning, no you are not mean