Is it hard to parent today?

Hasn't it always been awful being a parent? I feel like youngins being scared of shit that's new to them is old as humanity, itself. I 100% believe that ten thousand years ago, there were kids whining about how hunting down a boar or whatever looks scary and they don't want to try it.

Hiii I would love to add my opinion as someone around your stepdaughters age (a little older, not by much though)
Granted I know nothing about her so this is all speculation based on my experiences

First, being afraid of driving does not equal lack of independence. Driving is scary, other drivers are scary, and vehicle accidents are a top cause of injury and death. If she has attempted to drive and failed, chances are she had a bad experience, or the people/person she is being taught from may not have a teaching style that is the best for her. I do not drive either, and it's definitely not for lack of trying.

A lot of where I personally lack independence is directly related to my anxiety. I have generalized anxiety and I have even struggled with agoraphobia because of it. Her issues with independence may lay under mental health issues as well, which are not always easy to see or help.

My advice would definitely just be supportive. You sound like you're already on the right path with that. If there are things she seems uneasy doing, try doing them with her first, and then get her to do them on her own.

I know for me if I've done something once with support, it makes it so much easier to do it by myself. Keep encouraging her and being there for her. Also, as a step parent please know that most of the responsibility should fall on her biological (or adoptive) parents/guardians. Make sure you and her are both getting the support from them as well.

One thing that REALLY helped me is movingly away from my parents. I moved three hours away (and then even further) and it was honestly the best thing for my independence. But the only person who can force her in that way is herself.

Yes. My first serious boyfriend. I encouraged him to buy his first car , an inexpensive yet reliable car, I encouraged him to get his first credit card , and build his credit . Sometimes all people need is encouragement and ideas.

🤔.............I know someone that is 30 years old and never driven..............Some people just don't drive......... When you look at all the crazy drives out there, I can't blame them............I've been driving since I was 15 and I'm just about over with it............50 years is a lot of driving...........

I was too afraid to drive the first few months after I got my licence. People I trusted would go along with me whenever I had to drive, to guide or answer me if I had any problem.
The pushed me, but also supported me.

I've been driving ever since, probably more than I should.

I can relate this to my son saying [quote]Pa! Can you fill my water bottle for me [/quote]

I see it as participative living rather than relient living.

Instead of giving her a ride, try making her drive with you as company. Maybe it's the boredom of driving alone. And after sometime just not be there at that time, where she has no choice but to drive on her own.

I have not been in your shoes specifically, but I have dealt with being hindered by fear in my young adult days. As far as driving is concerned, perhaps she can take small steps to build her confidence. Maybe that's driving around a quiet residential neighborhood then working her way up to busier thoroughfares. My suggestion would be to be there to advise and encourage her on her road to adulthood, and try to not enable her to avoid things you know she is capable of. For me, when the desire was strong enough and I wanted things bad enough, I walked through the fear and got on the other side of it.

I don't have kids but I was one of those kids. I resisted driving until 17 when my dad said, "you will learn how to drive!" Lol I learned in an old suburban, drove a huge full size van and then learned to drive stick in a little Geo Prism. Now I can drive any passenger vehicle and am so grateful for the freedom he gave me by insisting I do something while scared. That's courage after all.

My oldest couldn't wait to drive and started saving for their first car 2 years before they could take the written test. They saved almost 10k and we put out the rest to buy them a new Civic when they were 17.

The younger ones might be harder. They haven't showed nearly as much initiative and are content to let us do whatever we will for them lol.

No, not yet, but as a disabled person who can’t drive and is still a fully functional adult.. meh.. “I can’t grow up because I can’t drive” is a cop out.

Not a parent but every kid and his dog seems to have anxiety because kids have so little resilience compared to the past

Well, this is in the past for me with mine.. But...I would and dod take a different approach that worked out. I let then use Dads taxi service, But traded them for responsibility in other areas. So pick a chore you need done for you. And I mean real one you would be grateful for. And trade them.. There is more than one way to teach responsibility. No stepdaughter is an island..😷

Not yet but I think once they’re done with college…😅

First, driving is pretty scary owing to the volume of traffic and over-confident drivers on the roads. Secondly, why should the ability to drive a private vehicle be seen as a rite of adulthood? The younger generation will be paying to clear up the environmental mess their parents leave behind. I would be quietly thrilled if my daughter took a principled stand to be a lifelong pedestrian.

Yeah my eldest, she did struggle to do things on her own.
I ended up paying for her to go to Australia on a working visa for a year to find herself, gift for her 18th birthday.
It was the best thing for her and gave her independence.

Nope. 4 kids, 21, 19, 18, and 16..
The 3 adults have part time jobs, 2 goes to college. At the moment they don't need to drive, but they are looking into getting their permit once they are ready.

I had my children young, and have witnessed me doing things, like going to college at 30. Modeling works wonders.

She is not alone, i know of several people who have told me their adult kids have no desire to drive.
When i was young, i felt more confident on a motorcycle than driving a car.
Makes no sense to me now for safety reasons.

Western parents are too lenient, in Asia they make you take the bus or stay home if you can’t drive yourself

Kids expect a free ride and while mummy and daddy support them and pay for everything it's a easy life

Being scared to drive seems to be more common anymore.

Why is she afraid to drive a car?

My late Fiancee's younger son took until the age of 23 1/2 before him and his gf moved out of our house.