Struggles & Identity

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What makes a person obsess with what another person does with themselves?

I am just curious what gets another person to obsess over another person when it is a negative obsession. I mean it bothers that individual terribly. Like for instance my being Transgender. I get so many people get to bagging on me, yet not a single one has ever met me. And some will persist for days to weeks to months and even years stalking through the internet just to cry out how terrible it is that I am Transgender. What creates a person like that?

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SW-User

They're unwilling to understand that you are a person too. Just like them. Even if they don't relate, they can't accept you using your own choice. I don't know why they must pick. I truly don't. They could have zero thoughts about it and carry on.

I'm sorry you have to go through it. You don't deserve any ridicule for being yourself. They're afraid of being themselves.

WildeGeist · 61-69, T

@SW-User Thanks. I am not claiming to be right with this, but like say I see someone dressed a little funny to me like a guy with his pants sagging down past his bottom and his skivvies are showing and he waddles because his pants are sagging yet never pulls them up. And its obvious he wears his pants this odd way to me. I make an observation, might laugh in my head about it, but get on with what it was I originally set out to do. And if dude stops to ask me a question, I do not go into asking hey, how come you like to have your pants falling down like that? A pretend he is just another guy asking a question. I answer if can, he goes his way and I go mine. That is what I would generally do.

But then there are those I have witnessed, that usually in a group for if alone would not have the nerve, they yell out some insult to the guy with saggy pants. They laugh at him aloud. Might even throw a bottle at him.

Yeah it might be irritating wondering why that guy wears his pants sagging and his butt sticking out, and obviously is having difficulties walking with his pants hobbling him like that but he obviously likes it that way. Its just clothes. Its none of my business WHY; it might be a curiosity. But I am curious about many things, whether its about people or bugs, plants or rocks. I check it out, look it over, then move on. Not everything do I like. If I dont like it I leave it. If I like it I check it out more. So I guess what I am asking in my question is why does some folks get stuck on something like these things and let it bother them to no end; get them furious even? It has nothing to do with them from outside; they are tormenting themselves inside by what something does around them.

Now if the saggy pants guy gets to stalking me or getting aggressive, yeah then I take extreme notice and might have to get defensive. But its not about his pants. Its his actions directed at me specifically.

So like back to my being Transgender, if I am simply going from point A to point B and have nothing to do with some guy seeing Transgenderism as a Mystery, what would make him get to follow me and persist at hating me when he has other places to go to, yet ignores his other needs to persist in following me to torment himself even more? I do not get it. It baffles me.

Ontheroad · M

Fear and ignorance of the different, of those not like me... it's really that simple.

Ynotisay · M

It's a good question. I'd say it all comes down to personal insecurity, fear and a need to have others be worse off than they are. And it applies to all kinds of people or groups. Not just trans.
As hard as I imagine it is, if you just try to remind yourself that THEY have the issues, THEY are weak and THEY need to live in a world of hate, it'll make it that much easier to dismiss them. You don't want to get pulled down to their level. That's what they want. Fuck 'em. They're not worth it. Good luck.

Repete · 61-69, M

I think it seems to be human nature in a way. Many people are not happy with their own lives so they watch their neighbors and think or say they shouldn’t do that , they are wasting their lives, or whatever it may be.
Can’t run their own lives but thinks they can or should be able to run everyone else’s .
A stupid habit that really should change in my opinion

gurlwatcher22 · 61-69, M

Some people are so miserable that they have to hate.On everything.
Personally,I take my hat off to you (I'd like to take other things off too) for you just being you.As I get older I tend to just not give a $hit about things I used to get hung up on. Haters are going to hate, but I think you're kinda cute!

GerOttman · 61-69, M

I will say that personally, I think it's just weird as fuck. But if it's what you want and it doesn't fuck with my life you go on with your big bad self. Also and again personally, I value weird as fuck! The world needs a little weird once in awhile. Without weird, how would we define normal?

beermeplease · M

what creates a person like that, you ask? quite simply an insecure and uneducated idiot.

Lilnonames · F

@beermeplease well i got a whole group of them after me haha😀

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

I think you already know the answer. When it comes to having an assigned gender and then trying to circumvent that assignment is a curiosity at a minimum and traumatizing at most. You know this. It doesn't make you a bad person and what you do with your own body is fundamentally your own decision. But, to expect the world to simply embrace you or behave as though nothing curious or unusual is happening when they see a man's body presented as a woman's (or vice versa) is disingenuous on your part. And, you know that.

Transgender is hard to understand and to pretend it isn't and for you to demand that people simply accept that is the way you are is mysterious to me. More than likely, it took you awhile to accept yourself as you are... as you were born... as you grew into who you are. Yet, you resent the rest of the world for needing to time to understand your "situation." That is hard to understand. You need to stop feeling victimized by other people and trying to victimize others for their reaction to it. Be patient with people and help them understand instead of attempting to trade their victimization of you by victimizing them.

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MarkPaul · 26-30, M

@Doomflower I honestly don't know what your deal is. Going against the grain is not for the faint-of-heart. And, if you don't have the fortitude to be patient with others because they don't immediately accept you with open arms then you have the answer to why "going stealth" is your best option.

This may be counter-productive advice for you, but grow some balls instead of building out your animosity.

Doomflower · 36-40, M

@MarkPaul It is not my job or responsibility to educate you.

As I have said (and you have refused to hear) I do not demand anyone immediately accept me.

Talk of animosity is pretty laughable coming from you. You seem like a really bitter, angry little boy. You have my pity. Byeeeee

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

@Doomflower I'm a man.

JustGoneNow ·

I honestly believe that some straight people’s issue with all LGBTQ is that they are terrified we want to change them. They have this insane idea that we give two fucks about straight cis people and want to change their genders and or orientation. It’s just nonsensical fear.

LordShadowfire · 46-50, M

@JustGoneNow Oh, you can't fool me. I already know all about the homosexual agenda.

JustGoneNow ·

@LordShadowfire did I leave my day planner out again?

pride49 · 31-35, M

Probably some insane structures hidden within negative, deep seated emotions within the family. My middle oldest sister believes she is perfect without a fault. And uses guile, hatred, and backhanded methods to bring people down. Idk I don't care for her anymore. Too nasty.

WrngWlf · 46-50, F

Fear, I'm almost certain it's fear.

JustGoneNow ·

@WrngWlf this.

Ynotisay · M

@WrngWlf I think you're right. And it's not just on this particular issue. Fear is a remarkably powerful tool that works on certain types of people. It's why it's sold the way it is. It's also a very easy transition from fear to hate. It's how they protect themselves. And how they're controlled. It's weak and pitiful.

22Michelle · 61-69, T

For some if you can't see yourself as "better" than others then you'd have to look at yourself and realise you're really a very sad person. For some politicians it's about creating division, that trans peoplexare coming for their rights, that trans people are somehow thus massive threat. And far too many morons buy into this.

Queendragonfly · 31-35, F

Fear of the unknown / jealousy that you are able to be fully yourself and the fuck what anyone says-energy/ fear of their own feelings that might develop towards a trans person/ identity crisis / lack of control

bijouxbroussard · F

I know people are curious about what they don’t understand. But not everyone forgets their manners and harasses people about it. I’m sorry you’ve experienced the uglier side of that ignorance. 🙁

wildbill83 · 41-45, M

tolerance is a two way street...

LordShadowfire · 46-50, M

There are a number of factors. First, there's the fact that we humans are still a fairly primitive species playing with high-tech toys. Somebody comes along who's different, who doesn't play by the same rules as the local humans, and it gets confusing. That leads to fear. Fear leads to hate.

But what really leads to the obsession on the level that you've experienced (and I'm sorry you've experienced that) is when somebody is projecting. When someone is themselves unsure of their gender, sexual orientation, or whatever, they stuff that self-doubt deep inside, and it comes out as hatred of anybody who isn't afraid to be that way.

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WildeGeist · 61-69, T

@LordShadowfire I think you are on to something. Thanks. Makes good sense. To me anyway. And thanks too for the empathy. Yeah its not easy being me. But I think everyone has it tough anymore. Being yourself, whatever that really is, is hard to do in this world because so many factors preventing it. What is the weirdest thing is all the factors so far have not been proven to be real. I mean there is nothing tangible, solid that can be held in the hand and looked at and analyzed. Its all make believe. Except for the knives and rocks, spit, bullets and bombs, poison gasses, hand cuffs and prisons and stuff like that. All that is pretty dang real. And lethal. Hardly any of it comes to any good either. War... Love on the other hand. A whole another enchilada of what is Love? But the simplified Love, even that can go a long ways to good things. Not to be confused with sex love. That can get a pimple or worse if you delve into the down sides of it. Thanks again. Cheers & Happy New Year!

WildeGeist · 61-69, T

@JustGoneNow The crappy internet here will hardly get the video to spin. I got a little of it. I heard the song part. Yeah, its pretty spot on aint it. Im going to see if my Spotify can get that song. I do Music. I might be able to get hold of the Artist and get some input there. Thank you.

JustGoneNow ·

@WildeGeist light and love. be well. 🦋

Renaci · 36-40

Sadists, sociopaths, psychopaths, trolls, narcissists, etc... that covers a lot of the population. And they all have the same trait of wanting to control and hurt the innocent.

Lilnonames · F

There's many here as well

NativePortlander1970

Because they're sex obsessed.

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