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Just a sad day

Earlier today we found out that the cancer my dad was diagnosed last week with, Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma, is the aggressive form. We will learn the stage tomorrow but they know it's advanced, because all his lymph nodes in his body were enlarged. They said he can either do chemotherapy every month, outpatient, or not treat it..That alarmed me. Just not treat it???

I guess their idea is that Bec his immune system is so low being already a stroke victim and MS patient, the chemotherapy can cause many adverse side effects that will make him worse. But I'm going in to visit tomorrow and really push for him to get treatment. He's already said weeks ago when he was starting to feel ill," just let God's will take over"..I know he could very well just say, let's not do chemo.
I've been sad all day because while we we were not close, he was very selfish and watched me suffer so much under abuse, he is still my dad , and I had more positive times with him than i ever did my "mom". The social worker was already discussing palliative care.
It's a lot to take in..😟
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That is so sad to hear. Blessings to him , you and the rest of the family.

It saddens me every time I hear of someone getting cancer. I have seen treatment at it best and at it worst. Many times the treatment, although it may prolong life for just a little while can be worse than just keeping them comfortable until the cancer does it's thing. Do not push him to do the treatments, just support his decision.

Keeping him in my prayers! 🙏 Maybe u could pm me his name so I can pray more specifically.
Coralmist · 41-45, F
@HappyCamper74 Thank you , I appreciate that 🌼
Phaethon · M
I am so sorry to hear that. Sometimes its better to not treat it because it gives you more time with them, when the cancer is too bad or they have a compromised immune system the treatment is too much. My uncle was on dialysis and he started chemo and we could have had months with him but it reduced his time to a few weeks at best. My father was killed in an accident recently, he was in a lot of pain and they were worried it might be cancer, when people hear he died in an accident they are suddenly so sorry but the universe works in mysterious ways. Now when I talk to him at his grave I tell the old fart that I almost envy him for taking the quick and easy way out. Life is strange. I'll keep you and your father in my prayers.
Coralmist · 41-45, F
@Phaethon It was hard to wrap my head around no treatment, but I guess if it's so advanced it won't really be helpful , and will just aggravate their whole body. I'm sorry to hear of your dad's passing. I'm sure he's happy to see you visit his gravestone🌺
Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F
I am really sorry to hear this.
I hate cancer so much.
My sister's husband and my husband had cancer.
My great nephew has cancer.
It's a scary and hard to deal with.
Make the most of the time you have now with him that's my advice.
Elisbch · M
I'm so sorry 😞 It is a lot to take in. Overwhelming imho.
I hope you can find some answers and peace. 🫂
I can say I think I may have had the same kind of relationship and feelings about my dad.
Coralmist · 41-45, F
@Elisbch Thanks I appreciate that🌼 It's sad to me that my dad didn't care about my well being for many, many years. But otoh, at least I could talk to him in a normal conversation , whereas I could NEVER talk to my mother. He could laugh or joke. And we enjoyed watching Dexter together, and a couple other shows. I get very sad that he's only 71, and that it wasn't caught sooner. If he had done blood work or a physical it might have been more treatable a year ago. But he didn't have any symptoms . Perhaps it wasn't even there a year ago. It is aggressive, and some types are fast forming.
It's just all very sad. Thank you again, and I'm sorry you had the same relationship.
Cigarguy · 41-45, M
I am so sorry for this news. I'll be praying for him and your family
Coralmist · 41-45, F
@Cigarguy Ty friend 🌸
IM5688 · 70-79, M
So sorry you are going through all this but, whatever the results and/or final outcome, God has given you the strength to handle it.
JoyfulSilence · 51-55, M
So sorry. I wish you and your family strength in this trying time.
Strongtea · 22-25, M
Oh gosh. Hugs. 🥺
smileylovesgaming · 31-35, F
Finding out what stage he is is important. Also how long could he have with or without treatment
eyeno · M
Praying still...

Coralmist · 41-45, F
@eyeno Thank you
samueltyler2 · 80-89, M
Ask about any mutations in his tumor which may be a candidate for tissue agnostic therapy.
samueltyler2 · 80-89, M
@Coralmist yes, and can be life saving. It was used on President Carter's disseminated maligbant melanoma.
Coralmist · 41-45, F
@samueltyler2 I'll mention it to the doctor, thank you
samueltyler2 · 80-89, M
@Coralmist if they have no idea what you are asking, get another oncologist.
tenente · 36-40, M
i'm sorry this is happening to you. i hope you find comfort soon
Coralmist · 41-45, F
@tenente Thank you, it's hard trying to digest it. At least he can do chemo, I'm hoping he opts for it. Ty again ✨
Musicman · 61-69, M
I am so sorry to hear this. I will definitely pray for him 🙏🙏🙏
pdockal · 56-60, M
🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

 
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