HijabaDabbaDoo · F
I let myself ride through the emotions. Then I try to manage my expectations. Is this any different than before? Do their words or actions actually surprise me? Is it actually my responsibility to placate their insecurities? Imagine someone insisting you're blue, you'd think it was silly and absurd. That statement would easily bounce back because you don't believe it. Learn to do the same with the put downs. Do you actually believe it or are you just learning to identify with it?
Expecting a different response to a dynamic that always presents itself the same way is like offering control to a passenger and not the driver in the car. You're the driver.
I know I can't always control my love for someone, that's human nature and yes it's still gonna feel like shit but I can lessen the blow by adjusting my emotional proximity.
Expecting a different response to a dynamic that always presents itself the same way is like offering control to a passenger and not the driver in the car. You're the driver.
I know I can't always control my love for someone, that's human nature and yes it's still gonna feel like shit but I can lessen the blow by adjusting my emotional proximity.
mindstruggle · 31-35, F
@HijabaDabbaDoo
I never thought about it like that. Like believing the put downs is optional. I’ve let too many of their words settle in and shape how I see myself. I think I’m just so used to the pain, I mistake it for truth.
I never thought about it like that. Like believing the put downs is optional. I’ve let too many of their words settle in and shape how I see myself. I think I’m just so used to the pain, I mistake it for truth.
HijabaDabbaDoo · F
@mindstruggle we all do it. If I'm around people like this too much, I start retreating back to someone who believes in some of my insecurities and it's so easy to spiral.
Study your own self concept. What beliefs comes from yourself and what comes from them because the mind has a habit of conflating them both as one. As for your support system, trust me you can find that in so many people that resonate with you.
Study your own self concept. What beliefs comes from yourself and what comes from them because the mind has a habit of conflating them both as one. As for your support system, trust me you can find that in so many people that resonate with you.
mindstruggle · 31-35, F
@HijabaDabbaDoo
You have no idea how much I needed to hear that. It’s so hard to tell the difference between what’s actually me and what’s just their voice stuck in my head. I think I’ve internalized so much that I forget I even have a separate identity. Thank you for reminding me that I’m allowed to rewrite that story and that better people do exist.
This gave me so much to think about. I really appreciate your words
You have no idea how much I needed to hear that. It’s so hard to tell the difference between what’s actually me and what’s just their voice stuck in my head. I think I’ve internalized so much that I forget I even have a separate identity. Thank you for reminding me that I’m allowed to rewrite that story and that better people do exist.
This gave me so much to think about. I really appreciate your words
Onryo · 22-25, F
Honestly? I fall apart and blame myself. My attachment issues won’t let me distance myself and I go into overdrive panicking they’ll leave me. It’s why I’m incredibly vulnerable to abuse because I get to the point where I’ll do anything just to seek approval and feel liked
mindstruggle · 31-35, F
@Onryo
This makes me feel seen in a way I didn’t expect. The constant panic, the need for approval. I always end up blaming myself, thinking if I were just better, they’d treat me differently.
This makes me feel seen in a way I didn’t expect. The constant panic, the need for approval. I always end up blaming myself, thinking if I were just better, they’d treat me differently.
lissah · 36-40, F
I used to blame myself for their actions. But now I am learning not to. I can only be responsible for myself. Just walk away. It's their loss. 💜
greensnacks · F
You get away. And find a new support system. Until then, you cope on your own, or online groups with similar issues or books 💜
Alyosha · 31-35, M
I find new friends.
AngelUnforgiven · 51-55, F
You cut them off and never look back. Thats what i did.
slorollin · 41-45, M
I move on
Cigarguy101 · M
Took me a long time but I finally cut them out of my life. It's been so much better this way
bijouxbroussard · F
I don’t allow that anymore. There’s just no one I need that badly in my life.
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bijouxbroussard · F
@mindstruggle It took awhile to get to that point. 🥺
mindstruggle · 31-35, F
@bijouxbroussard
I hope it won't take too long for me.
I hope it won't take too long for me.
bijouxbroussard · F
@mindstruggle Luckily, I wasn’t financially dependent upon anyone. That’s why a lot of people don’t feel like they can leave.
tenente · 36-40, M
Been there. You don’t owe loyalty to people who harm you—your peace matters. Build your circle with those who see and respect you. Find comfort soon.
mindstruggle · 31-35, F
@tenente
Thank you.
Thank you.
ScreamingFox · 41-45, F
I ditched them
Degbeme · 70-79, M
I honestly don`t know, never experienced it
hunkalove · 70-79, M
Tequila?
I removed them from my life.
SomeMichGuy · M
Hmmmm...no idea.
GuyWithOpinions · 31-35, M
I block them out.
acpguy · C
Try to understand why they are tearing you down
Matt85 · 36-40, M
has bardy been picking on you again?
mindstruggle · 31-35, F
@Matt85
Nooo, he's always nice to me.
Nooo, he's always nice to me.
Matt85 · 36-40, M
@mindstruggle he's the one being picked on most the time. i was just trolling him. 😈
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Prettybratbi1tch · 26-30, F
Remind yourself no one will be there for you like you so don't expect much from people
mindstruggle · 31-35, F
@Prettybratbi1tch
It’s not even about expecting too much from people, it’s about the hurt that comes from being misjudged and torn down by the very people you looked up to. That disconnect messes with your head. You trusted their opinions, so when they’re negative, it cuts deeper than it should.
It’s not even about expecting too much from people, it’s about the hurt that comes from being misjudged and torn down by the very people you looked up to. That disconnect messes with your head. You trusted their opinions, so when they’re negative, it cuts deeper than it should.
YoMomma ·
Avoid them or tell them off idk 😕
Go minimal contact with them.
Shybutwilling2bfriends · 61-69
Let them go
Tumbleweed · F
You erase them and write a new story with new characters.
Sdbot · 26-30, M
Will not be able to cope 😞
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candycane · 36-40, F
Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end,