Anxious
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How do you cope when the people who are supposed to support you are the ones tearing you down?

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I let myself ride through the emotions. Then I try to manage my expectations. Is this any different than before? Do their words or actions actually surprise me? Is it actually my responsibility to placate their insecurities? Imagine someone insisting you're blue, you'd think it was silly and absurd. That statement would easily bounce back because you don't believe it. Learn to do the same with the put downs. Do you actually believe it or are you just learning to identify with it?
Expecting a different response to a dynamic that always presents itself the same way is like offering control to a passenger and not the driver in the car. You're the driver.
I know I can't always control my love for someone, that's human nature and yes it's still gonna feel like shit but I can lessen the blow by adjusting my emotional proximity.
mindstruggle · 31-35, F
@HijabaDabbaDoo
I never thought about it like that. Like believing the put downs is optional. I’ve let too many of their words settle in and shape how I see myself. I think I’m just so used to the pain, I mistake it for truth.
@mindstruggle we all do it. If I'm around people like this too much, I start retreating back to someone who believes in some of my insecurities and it's so easy to spiral.
Study your own self concept. What beliefs comes from yourself and what comes from them because the mind has a habit of conflating them both as one. As for your support system, trust me you can find that in so many people that resonate with you.
mindstruggle · 31-35, F
@HijabaDabbaDoo
You have no idea how much I needed to hear that. It’s so hard to tell the difference between what’s actually me and what’s just their voice stuck in my head. I think I’ve internalized so much that I forget I even have a separate identity. Thank you for reminding me that I’m allowed to rewrite that story and that better people do exist.
This gave me so much to think about. I really appreciate your words