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slorollin

41-45, M

United States

Single

Discussion, Private Chat, Flirt, Meet Women, Stories, Look Around, Role Play

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3420 views · 102 followers · Joined: December 1, 2023

Not here for a long time, just here for a good time

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Cheers to the people who love us, the losers who lost us, and the lucky bastards who get to meet us.

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Just in case any of you need to hear this today:

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• You are not a failure • You are not a waste of space • You are loved • You are wanted • I believe in you • You can do it!!!

An Ode To Happiness

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I draw a hot sorrow bath in my despair room with a misery candle burning. I wash my hair with regret shampoo after cleaning myself with pain soap and I go to sleep when the hue has gone blue and you can't quite grin and bear it. Let this word... See More »

Did you know that if you spell "socks" really fast it sounds like you're speaking in spanish?

Never let them know your next move!

*murderer chasing me around the house* Me: Alexa! Play Scooby Doo theme song!

We went from being down with OPP to being down with AARP.

If White Claw doesn't come out with an eggnog flavor and call them Santa Claws...Then why are we even here?

That awkard moment when you have to redo a highfive because you missed the first time.

(1)

They should announce a sequel to the movie "Groundhog Day" and just re-release the same movie.

Grammer: The difference between "Knowing your shit" and "Knowing you're shit"

Life is all about ass...

You're either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, busting it, trying to get a piece of it, behaving like one, or living with one.

Coffee: (My title is plenty long enough, thank you very much)

The stabbing, slapping, punching, kicking, cussing inhibitor so you don't go to jail medicine.

Things a dentist can say but not a gynecologist?

Don't you bite me!

To the FBI agent assigned to watch me through my phone:

Either I am so so sorry or you're so so welcome. Depending on what you're into 🤷‍♂

Reasons I need coffee:

1. It tastes like hopes and dreams. 2. Other people talk to me in the morning. 3. Caffeine perks me up. 4. Jail is a real place. 5. Its hard to work if my eyes are closed. 6. Helps me mimic socially acceptable behavior. 7. Strangers stare if you... See More »

From the heart ❤

Dear ice cream truck, Please consider cruising the neighborhood with tacos and beer. Sincerely, Adults everywhere

We go together like drunk and disorderly.

Deftones - My Own Summer

(1)

Just so we're clear...the only acceptable reason for you to touch my coffee cup is to refill it. Don't try to be a hero.

Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.

If it weren't for the gutter, my mind would be homeless.

Women aren't that difficult. If you made a mistake, tell her you're sorry. If she made a mistake, tell her you're sorry. Easy peasy.

If a woman says "Correct me if im wrong" That is not a real invitation. For your own safety, do not, under any circumstances frickin do it.

Queen - We Are the Champions

(1)

I dont really have a plan. Just coffee and weirdness my friends. Coffee and weirdness.

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