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slorollin

41-45, M

United States

Single

Straight

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5127 views · 140 followers · Joined: December 1, 2023

I refuse to argue with people who should've been swallowed

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Cheers to the people who love us, the losers who lost us, and the lucky bastards who get to meet us.

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Just in case any of you need to hear this today:

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• You are not a failure • You are not a waste of space • You are loved • You are wanted • I believe in you • You can do it!!!

An Ode To Happiness

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I draw a hot sorrow bath in my despair room with a misery candle burning. I wash my hair with regret shampoo after cleaning myself with pain soap and I go to sleep when the hue has gone blue and you can't quite grin and bear it. Let this word... See More »

Did I smoke to much or does this bird look like a rabbit on ski's? 🗣💨

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Whats the single worst movie you sat through, hoping it would get better but never did?

Her: For once I'd like a man to just sweep me off my feet. Me: *slowly ties Cobra Kai headband around forehead*

I said what I said

Im not going to count my chickens that cry over spilt milk at the drop of a hat or bark up the wrong apples and oranges because at the end of the day, it aint over til the fat lady kills two birds with one piece of cake.

One man's "she's to much" is another man's "load up fruit loop let's go do crazy shit"

Well I'll be damned!!

After all these years I finally found my ole lady's G-spot! Turns out her sister had it all along! Who knew 🤷‍♂

Welcome to the jungle!!

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You alright Sharon?

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I just wanted to let you know...

Some kids were dropped as a baby, but you were clearly thrown in the air, hit a ceiling fan, flew out the window, and smacked into a tree.

You know what would suck...

If you died and found out there were ghost jobs. Like you had to work at the ghost post office or some shit 🙄

Stripper name...pets name and last thing you ate?

Buddy bread stick

Fired on the spot!

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A professor told his class...

"Fame will come to you only after you succeed" A blonde asked, "Who is 'Seed?"

Your rockstar name...middle name plus the car you drive?

Daniel Cadillac

Things men do that upset women...

1. Lie 2. Be honest 3. Not talk 4. Talk to much 5. Not show emotions 6. Be to emotional 7. Breathe

If a woman cockblocks another woman...is it called a beaver dam or taco blocko? 🤔

Good morning ☕ 🚬

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Alright ladies, your cooter cat is now named after the last movie or tv show you watched. What's its name?

Im bright as the mufukn sun, yo!

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Thats just rude!

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If our knees bent the other direction what would chairs look like? 🤔

Just got banned from the hospital. Apparently when the nurse is checking your giggle berries you're not allowed to run your fingers through her hair.

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