On being friends with people who have very different ethical/political views from my own

I've friends I've known for 20 years, with whom I got along wonderfully until the past two or three elections. However, since then, our differing political views have put a wall between us. Just mentioning anything in current events, they immediately go on the defensive as if I'm attacking them, when I haven't even given them my view yet. The way we see the world is so different that we can no longer be friends.

I understand this. For me it’s been the MAGA movement that has made it really clear that it’s more than just political differences, which sounds superficial—but it’s not. It’s a fundamental difference in values.

I went from seeing Trump supporters as simply misguided in 2016 to honestly believing they must actually be very evil people, deep down. I have none among my friends.

And I don’t want to have conversations with them anymore than I’d want to discuss philosophy with a Neo-Nazi or Klansman.

It saddens me, because my nature is to want to like people, but I don’t trust anyone who excludes others based on things like gender, race/ethnicity or sexual orientation.
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I have friends that don’t see things the way I do and I actually enjoy the diversity and listening to other people’s points of view. Just because I feel one way doesn’t mean I’m right and just because they feel a different way doesn’t mean they’re right either. I just find beauty in having these kinds of friendships where we can talk freely and not judge one another based on differences of opinion.

Wow! So you dont want to be her friend cause she doesnt see the world the way you do. You said in your post she was nice to you shouldnt that be the only thing that matters? People a different thats what makes the world so great if everyone was the same this world would be a very boring and bland place. Sometimes you need that friend that doesnt think like you or see things the way you do to give you a fresh perspective. I must say im shocked at you cause all that matter in a friendship is loyalty and how they treat you

I get the need to have a mutual bonding. It would be nice. I have a friend who differs from me wildly, but at least he's funny about it. If he was way more serious about it like some then there would be issues. I get annoyed with people who are so deep in their politics that it becomes their identity. Wouldn't be able to do that.

I can differ on politics just fine, but not on ethics and a lot of that snuck into politics lately. And I'm also not going to agree to disagree on whether what we see with our own eyes is actually there or not.

I have to share some key values with someone in order to be friends with them. We don’t have to agree on everything, but we can’t be diametrically opposed. I don’t want to constantly come into conflict or be judged because of who I am or what I believe. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that being a requirement from friends. Having to “walk on eggshells” around someone is a sign this isn’t going to work.

It used to be easier to have friends with different ideas. I always did. But nowadays the woke totalitarians have become ridiculously intollerant with anybody who doesn't agree with them. I think it's just a phase. Many people are starting to realize that wokeness is just hateful nonsense mascherading as politics.

In general, I avoid talking about politics with friends. But on a few occasions I did stop seeing certain friends cause they had become so misandrist that I could not just stay there hearing they hate men so much.

But it all depends on how good friends you were to begin with. If we're talking about a long time friend, the key is just to talk about other things and avoid politics. If we're talking about acquaintances, then it's better to just not talk to them. I've had both.

One of my best friends from school is super totalitarian. She's very misandrist and quite hateful towards anybody who doesn't think like her or doesn't embody the woke standards. And she even commited 2 abortions and said she kind of sympathised with Bin Laden (cause, you know, many woke Europeans like her dislike America to the point of sympathasing with anybody who humiliates the US... even murderers...🤮). So she certainly wouldn't be my friend if we met now. But on the other hand I know her since we were 4 years old, and we have lived many experiences together as kids and teenagers, so with her we just avoid politics and chat about other things, because we value each other's friendship despite ideology. But if I met someone now who thought like her, I would simply avoid her.

So I guess political digression is an obstacle for friendship, but if the friendship is old enough you can just ignore it. You just have to ask yourself if that person is important to you or not.

I’ve never given either a political or religious questionnaire to a potential friend. If you’re my friend, we’re cool. We don’t have to agree. There’s more things in life to share other than current politics and which religious fiction suits your fancy.

That said, I don’t party with friends from work. My commute is about 60 miles (one way); so, my social circle is entirely different.

I'm happy anytime to debate politics, views etc. What I find objectionable is when the other person is do entrenched, and usually bigoted thst there can be no exchange of views. It seems to be especially an issue in the USA, and prevalent on here.

MANY people have different political views and that's OK. Just avoid the subject.
Ethical may be a different story though.

Meh. I have British MAGA Trump fans as friends and socialists as friends, doesn't bother me.

To each their own.

I have friends with different political views, so we don't discuss politics. Our ethical views are quite similar, so that's not a problem.

@dearambellina2113🤔maybe you have two options if you dicuss a topic you differ on is try to see her side but agree to disagree on her views or make those topics as taboo ones and say to avoid confrontation they are best not to be up for discussion

It depends how extensive the difference is. I can be friends with people as long as we generally agree on things, even if we disagree on certain issues.

i have friends and family that i disagree with on many things. we just have to agree to disagree and go on our ways.

I agree mostly... But sometimes I think we do need an opposing view of the no other reason than to check our own view

I would have real difficulty with that.

I think a lot of right wing supporters are starting to realize that their hatred hasn't getting them anywhere.

I do not like dealing with people who are into trumpism.

It is difficult for me to respect any member of the trump Cult.

My wife was left wing and l was right wing but we absolutely loved each other