On being friends with people who have very different ethical/political views from my own

Yeah... I'm realizing that it's not possible for me.

I have a co-worker who I have been fairly close to since I began working at this company 2 years ago. She has very very different views on politics, ethics, and her general outlook on life is very different from mine. Now initially, I overlooked this because she was nice to me and I didn't know anyone else at work. But the longer I know her and the more intimately we have gotten to know each other, it's becoming evident that there is just no way she and I will ever be able to connect on a deeper level than just a cordial surface acquaintanceship.

How can you really become intimate friends with someone who essentially doesn't see the world or other people in it, the same way you do? I'm finding it almost impossible. The minute we go off topic from work, or pet ownership, or some other mundane generic topic, our views are so different we end up almost bickering. I don't like that.

I want friends who see things similarly to the way I do so that we can both relax and enjoy bonding over those things. Maybe that's not very altruistic of me, but at this point that doesn't bother me.

bijouxbroussard · F

I understand this. For me it’s been the MAGA movement that has made it really clear that it’s more than just political differences, which sounds superficial—but it’s not. It’s a fundamental difference in values.

I went from seeing Trump supporters as simply misguided in 2016 to honestly believing they must actually be very evil people, deep down. I have none among my friends.

And I don’t want to have conversations with them anymore than I’d want to discuss philosophy with a Neo-Nazi or Klansman.

It saddens me, because my nature is to want to like people, but I don’t trust anyone who excludes others based on things like gender, race/ethnicity or sexual orientation.
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