On being friends with people who have very different ethical/political views from my own

Yeah... I'm realizing that it's not possible for me.

I have a co-worker who I have been fairly close to since I began working at this company 2 years ago. She has very very different views on politics, ethics, and her general outlook on life is very different from mine. Now initially, I overlooked this because she was nice to me and I didn't know anyone else at work. But the longer I know her and the more intimately we have gotten to know each other, it's becoming evident that there is just no way she and I will ever be able to connect on a deeper level than just a cordial surface acquaintanceship.

How can you really become intimate friends with someone who essentially doesn't see the world or other people in it, the same way you do? I'm finding it almost impossible. The minute we go off topic from work, or pet ownership, or some other mundane generic topic, our views are so different we end up almost bickering. I don't like that.

I want friends who see things similarly to the way I do so that we can both relax and enjoy bonding over those things. Maybe that's not very altruistic of me, but at this point that doesn't bother me.

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Jenny1234 · 56-60, F

I have friends that don’t see things the way I do and I actually enjoy the diversity and listening to other people’s points of view. Just because I feel one way doesn’t mean I’m right and just because they feel a different way doesn’t mean they’re right either. I just find beauty in having these kinds of friendships where we can talk freely and not judge one another based on differences of opinion.

DearAmbellina2113 · 41-45, F

@Jenny1234 I'm not talking about just "Oh I don't like traveling abroad" or "I don't like ice cream".

I'm talking about fundamental views on people's rights, laws, religion, politics, etc. If we don't have some common ground there, there's no way I can have a deeper friendship with that person, because it's inevitably gonna turn into a debate. Which I do not like to do with friends.

Jenny1234 · 56-60, F

@DearAmbellina2113 I’m talking about politics, religion. Law, people’s rights and everything in between.

Open and respectful discussions with people who hold different viewpoints can be incredibly enriching and beneficial. Gives us the opportunity to learn about different viewpoints, broaden our understanding of complex issues, and even challenges our own beliefs. This helps us develop empathy and critical thinking skills, as we consider and respond to different viewpoints, become better listeners, communicators, and overall more informed

bijouxbroussard · F

@Jenny1234 Until you encounter people who base their beliefs on hatred of anything that is different than they are and a desire to exterminate it.

If you’ve never been the target of such beliefs, it’s easier to see it in the abstract rather than as a potential threat. 😞

DearAmbellina2113 · 41-45, F

@Jenny1234 I am already very astute in all of the communication skills you listed. I simply can not tolerate a person who supports hateful policies.

Adrift · 61-69, F

@DearAmbellina2113 Well then I guess you can't be friends with them anymore.