Why is it so hard to have friends who don't just abandon you the minute you have a rough time?

I am not saying you do this but I think what happens in general is when people are in trouble, they are more likely to ask for help OR they want to unload their emotional baggage on others.

Some "Friends" may want to help but most people are struggling with their own problems and do not have the resources to help others with their problems.

What people want - When people want ANYthing, be it a friend, lover, career, a season, you name it, they want the ideal version but none of the "challenges" or possible work.

I’ve learned it’s because so many are having a rough go at it themselves and don’t want to carry your heaviness along with theirs. They're either not strong enough to, don’t care about you enough to, or are that set on living in the delusion that if you don’t acknowledge the reality that is the darkness, it doesn’t exist and can’t harm them. And I’ll admit…I’ve been all three of those people at some point. But more so I’ve been the one who sticks around through those difficult times to listen, to console, even help in bringing a person back up to where they want to fight just to be able to stand tall again. People will easily reveal who they are when you present them with the realness they’re often hiding from, and if they need to excuse themselves just so they can feel they can breathe then so be it. It makes you wise in knowing who you can and can’t turn to when you’re in the depths, but also who you can turn to when you want to lighten things up a bit.

I just had to unload a friend here. It’s never ending. Everyday there is a crisis or he’s drunk. It gets old and puts me in a pissy mood. I’m not here for that.

This is so relatable. “i’ll always be here for you” “you don’t have to suffer alone”. “i’ll sit with you in the dark” these are all nice for memes but i don’t find anyone truly means it because it’s a long commitment sometimes, not just a “come over for coffee” event. Even the people i thought really meant it, didn’t.

That's the thing.
One can easily become annoying or overwhelming and people have their own problems, so one has to be selective with who you share and talk.
And even then, I try to stay a bit distant. Anyway I'm not very talkative but it has happened to me. That's why I love kitties.

In my experience, most of my friends were never true friends. They were fairweather friends; there for a good time but not there in times of need.

Hand you read the Celestine Prophecy? It talks about how Everyone we know comes into our lives for a reason. It’s no coincidence. Whether we know them for a minute, an hour, or years. So when I realize that I have a friend who is not the friend I thought they were, I always remind myself that they came into my life for a reason even though I may not know what that reason is

The problem with people these days is they only want to be friends with you if it serves them. Always running to you when in need but turning their head when you need them. A true friend will sit in silence if you call with sadness at 3a.m. with nothing to say.

It is the basic human nature to jump a sinking ship but people forget that the ship can be built again and it didnt have feelings but a human do I help out people regardless of the fact Will they do the same for me so in years I finally after a gazillion setbacks have estabilished a core group where we stand together till death do us apart keep trying a good soul such yours will eventually find its group

More and more common these days sadly.

We live in a world of instant gratification and low moral standards. If it can't be seen, it's less important. Everybody feels like they're struggling to stay on top of whatever raft they feel like they're on and sometimes it's too risky to try and pull someone up when needed.

I'm a bit cynical...my experience is that friends that are there through thick and thin only exist in movies.

But I know of other people that certainly have friends that are there for them.

I always thought it was me.

Most people want the world without giving it in return. So stop giving the world to people. It will at least even the playing field a bit and make you less depleted.

Real friends are hard to find in general. I must be God because I only exist when people want something.

If it’s a constant need? Yeah. People tend to wander. If you hit a rough patch every couple of months and need someone to talk to and you get ghosted? Again, yeah. Those are fair weather friends and not to be taken seriously. Return the “favor” when you can. 😏

Do you mean on SW or in real life?

If real life, sadly I know what you mean! Though honestly as a defensive mechanism, I've stopped trusting people and very few do I get close to.

Though, while it protects me, I'm not sure it's best as I'm not finding that I need to reach out more and put more effect into going outside my comfort zones to meet people.

You never know who your real friends are until you need their help/support. 😐

Of course anyone prefers the good bits. Without a doubt.

To abandon a friendship, I don't think it would be for no reason,especially when the times get rough.

There has to be a reason which would make me worry rather than wonder....

I can't bear it when people say things like Call me any time, I really mean it. I'm not just saying that. And then when you do very tentatively call them, they find some excuse. The minute I hear that 'false genuineness', I just roll my eyes inside and give them an equally false smile 🤦🏼‍♀️

I charge $100 a day to be my friend 😏

Good friends like that are rare

One lady on here called me a downer and blocked me because I was upset after getting horrible, life-changing news lol.

those are not real friends, they are only FWB.

they were never friends but merely assosiates

Friends like that are hard to come by. I have 2 that would drop anything for me and I would do the same.