Support group tonight.

Tonight we are going back to our eating disorder support group. I'm already getting anxious. It's where I meet Joel. We use to go all the time but life got busy and it was easier to stop going. We rarely had a babysitter and I never wanted to go by myself. So we just stopped going. But I'm struggling really bad and Joel is worried I'll end up in the hospital again so he said we are going back. Yesterday I barely ate anything. I never eat at work and at him I will eat as I'm cooking. Tasting things to make sure the are good. But we went to his grandma's house so I didn't eat anything there. He wasn't happy but he didn't get mad. He did remind me we are going to the meeting. I don't know why. It was stupid. I don't know why I do this, why I can't eat in front of other people, why I can't sit down for dinner. That's not true I do know why I just don't know why I can't move on front the past. I don't know how to forget. Talking about at a safe placed us to help hopefully it will again

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Mamapolo2016 · F

Steady on. Try not to freak yourself out. Breathe. If it helped before it may well help again. They’re not going to force you to eat, are they?

I’m sure it’s difficult to face issues from the past that are still negatively affecting you. You have the kids and you have Joel. You have loving support. You have a safety net.

Try to look at it not as a dangerous cliff, but a doorway to better health and peace.

When my late husband was diagnosed, I reluctantly joined a support group, fairly confident it would be stupid. It was a lifeline. Being with people who not only care but who know what you’re talking about is wonderful.

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Mamapolo2016 · F

@Cigarguy101 Just try to stay out of your own way.

When you’re climbing a steep slope you can expect a little backsliding. Just get up and keep putting one foot in front of the other.

When we’re in a bad spot, our mind is too, and it tries to keep the chaos going to distract from the real issue.

Stop. Breathe. Take charge. Straighten your posture. Hold your head high. Recognize that you can exert control. “No. We’re going THIS way, brain. Get with the program.”

Cigarguy101 · 41-45, M

@Mamapolo2016 thank you for the advice. It is helpful and I'm trying I really am

Mamapolo2016 · F

@Cigarguy101 I know you are. And you’re doing well. Sometimes you just have to adjust your trajectory.

HowtoDestroyAngels · 46-50, M

I think I need to actually go to an AA meeting myself. It's been over five years since I went to one, and I'm almost 12 years sober now. Yet I feel myself getting agitated and angrier at life every day. It's like I'm becoming a dry drunk. Good luck to you my friend. I hope the support group can do you some good and you get something out of it.

Cigarguy101 · 41-45, M

@HowtoDestroyAngels I guess it's easy to forget how much these types of groups can help us until we stop going. I definitely did better when we did. I never eat 3 meals a day at the table but I did eat more. I don't know your whole story but if you do go back I hope it gives you what you need. Congrats on being sober that long!

HowtoDestroyAngels · 46-50, M

@Cigarguy101 Thank you.

4meAndyou · F

I am fairly certain that your eating disorder is rooted in deep anxiety. I am glad you are going back to the meeting.

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Cigarguy101 · 41-45, M

@4meAndyou yes you are so right and it's hard to focus on this issue when I have so much else going on. Sometimes I feel like I need 5 different therapists . But Joel and I have decided that I need to focus on this more because it's effecting my health.

4meAndyou · F

@Cigarguy101 Check this out!

https://inlpcenter.org/freedom-from-the-past-7-steps-to-heal-your-hidden-childhood-programming/

Cigarguy101 · 41-45, M

@4meAndyou thank you for sharing this with me. I will definitely check it out

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Cigarguy101 · 41-45, M

@Summer2025 hello Willow, good to see you today. Again I'm glad you worry about me and believe it or not I'm not prefect but I'm trying. I do need help but being a bad father is not something I need help with. My children come first no matter what and that will never change. So I hope you feel better soon, I see you are having pain today. I have a horrible headache and my chest hurts so I get it!

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