Support group tonight.

Tonight we are going back to our eating disorder support group. I'm already getting anxious. It's where I meet Joel. We use to go all the time but life got busy and it was easier to stop going. We rarely had a babysitter and I never wanted to go by myself. So we just stopped going. But I'm struggling really bad and Joel is worried I'll end up in the hospital again so he said we are going back. Yesterday I barely ate anything. I never eat at work and at him I will eat as I'm cooking. Tasting things to make sure the are good. But we went to his grandma's house so I didn't eat anything there. He wasn't happy but he didn't get mad. He did remind me we are going to the meeting. I don't know why. It was stupid. I don't know why I do this, why I can't eat in front of other people, why I can't sit down for dinner. That's not true I do know why I just don't know why I can't move on front the past. I don't know how to forget. Talking about at a safe placed us to help hopefully it will again

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Mamapolo2016 · F

Steady on. Try not to freak yourself out. Breathe. If it helped before it may well help again. They’re not going to force you to eat, are they?

I’m sure it’s difficult to face issues from the past that are still negatively affecting you. You have the kids and you have Joel. You have loving support. You have a safety net.

Try to look at it not as a dangerous cliff, but a doorway to better health and peace.

When my late husband was diagnosed, I reluctantly joined a support group, fairly confident it would be stupid. It was a lifeline. Being with people who not only care but who know what you’re talking about is wonderful.

Cigarguy101 · 41-45, M

@Mamapolo2016 you are right. I'm just in my head right now. I know once I go it will be fine.

I couldn't do this with my family. And I have to figure out a way to move past this.

Just sometimes I get tired of everything being so fucking hard for me. It shouldn't be and I know this, I tell myself this all the time. And that makes it worse I'm so angry at myself for letting myself get to this point again.

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Mamapolo2016 · F

@Cigarguy101 Just try to stay out of your own way.

When you’re climbing a steep slope you can expect a little backsliding. Just get up and keep putting one foot in front of the other.

When we’re in a bad spot, our mind is too, and it tries to keep the chaos going to distract from the real issue.

Stop. Breathe. Take charge. Straighten your posture. Hold your head high. Recognize that you can exert control. “No. We’re going THIS way, brain. Get with the program.”

Cigarguy101 · 41-45, M

@Mamapolo2016 thank you for the advice. It is helpful and I'm trying I really am

Mamapolo2016 · F

@Cigarguy101 I know you are. And you’re doing well. Sometimes you just have to adjust your trajectory.