Support group tonight.

Tonight we are going back to our eating disorder support group. I'm already getting anxious. It's where I meet Joel. We use to go all the time but life got busy and it was easier to stop going. We rarely had a babysitter and I never wanted to go by myself. So we just stopped going. But I'm struggling really bad and Joel is worried I'll end up in the hospital again so he said we are going back. Yesterday I barely ate anything. I never eat at work and at him I will eat as I'm cooking. Tasting things to make sure the are good. But we went to his grandma's house so I didn't eat anything there. He wasn't happy but he didn't get mad. He did remind me we are going to the meeting. I don't know why. It was stupid. I don't know why I do this, why I can't eat in front of other people, why I can't sit down for dinner. That's not true I do know why I just don't know why I can't move on front the past. I don't know how to forget. Talking about at a safe placed us to help hopefully it will again