Is something wrong with me? I have a confession. I am in my late 30’s but never had a...

Pherick · 41-45, M

Nothing wrong with your situation. It just means you are looking for a more specific type of guy. Someone who appreciates you, someone who understands what you have gone through in life, and most importantly someone who wants the same things you do.

We all have different wants and needs. They are more generic (I think thats the word) when we are younger, and as we mature we realize we have more specific needs and desires we need filled.

My only suggestion, and its such a cliche, but has worked for me, is to make friends first. Find activities that aren't dating related and meet people, easier to fall into a relationship with a friend sometimes.

LadyGrace ·

It does sound like you're suffering from anxiety. Why don't you just start small. Like go out with other lady friends so that you can get more accustomed to being out and interacting with females first, as friends. Even if it's just if you have one friend. You need to gently introduce yourself back into society. Mingle with friends until you start to feel more comfortable being out in public.

When you feel more comfortable, and there's no rush, you can always start with finding a male friend. I think that's the key. Find a male friend you can feel comfortable with even if you're not interested romantically because this will get you used to being around males.

Then from there you might date someone but meet them in a public place for quite some time until you get comfortable with that. The right one will understand and won't pressure you.

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Enonnanne · 46-50, F

I am sensitive as well. But that shouldnt be a negative trait. Im sorry to hear you have had bad luck.

sylvsn59 · 61-69, M

Don't fret or give up hope, just keep dating until you meet the one that is right for you. Of course it gets harder as you get older and the selection tends to dwindle but the biggest mistake would be to just settle on someone incompatible.

greensnacks · F

Lol don't worry, they start divorcing around 40 and new pool of men to date emerge. If you're into that. If not, you can always try putting yourself out there, dating apps and whatnot. Rejection is a learned emotion and you can unlearn it.

Bowenw · 61-69, M

There is nothing wrong with you. I suggest you get out and do things where you can meet people. Try joining a club or team that interests you that will include men.

DunningKruger · 61-69, M

You need to date. You cannot expect to go from zero to serious relationship while skipping the steps in between.

You date, or at the very least socialize with people. If the person you're dating doesn't work for you, you end that relationship, or at least that part of the relationship, and look for someone else.

You spend time with someone. You meet their friends and family, they meet your friends and family. You both decide if you want to spend the rest of your lives together. If no, you end that part of the relationship and move on.

If yes, however, you move forward. Probably you have sex and see if you're compatible that way. Maybe you move in together and see if you like living together.

If that seems to be OK, then you both decide to move forward and make it official. You get engaged. You get married. If those are things you both want to do. It could be that you stay together for the rest of your lives without marrying. That works, too.

But you have to put in the work. You need to meet people you might have some interest in, then find out if you do have interest in them and if they have interest in you.

Adogslife · 61-69, M

You could probably use some therapy to get past your restrictive parents and the ramifications.

But, then again, it’s your life. Ultimately you have to take responsibility to get yourself out there. The desire to find a mate has to outweigh the fear of rejection. Only you can open up and let the world in.

NickyLee · 41-45

I dont have the magic answer unfortunately, but if you're ever looking to talk, feel free to message me

JSmith75 · 46-50, M

Just be yourself and take care of yourself and just get out there with your standards and don't settle for less than you deserve

DoubleRings · 51-55, F

Spoiler alert: there’s no fairytale life. Marriage is work. Trust me, being single is the “fairytale”.

Convivial · 26-30, F

I think it's called not being socialised.... No wonder you have anxiety...

YoMomma ·

Not all marriages are happy so don't be in a hurry to rush into them 😳 you're ahead of the game as far as i can see you passed on the players who only give people grief anyway

looking4thesun · M

No, you are living your life by your own rules and morals. That's much better than I and most others

Lostpoet · M

Join a dating site, book club, gym, or anything else that interests you. When you see a guy ask him if he's seeing anyone. If he says no then say you aren't seeing anyone either. He'll 99.9% percent of the time ask you out. If he doesn't then he's probably gay. Jk about the gay part.

lissah · 36-40, F

Usually marriage isn't a perfect fairytale life

jackrabbit10 · M

start making friends, spread out from there, always some one for every one,