Oh that cowThe only cow in a small town in Northern Italy stopped giving milk. Then the town folk found they could buy a cow in Sicily quite cheaply. So, they brought the cow over from Sicily. It was absolutely wonderful. it produced lots of milk every day...See More »
Dear John letterA United States Marine was deployed to Afghanistan. While he was there he received a "Dear John" letter from his girlfriend. In the letter she explained that she had slept with two guys while he had been gone and she wanted to break up with him. To...See More »
MARRIED LIFE AFTER 50During check-in at airport for a non-stop long-haul flight, the airline staff was very apologetic to the husband and said : "I am sorry sir, the flight is really full today. We couldn't allot you and your wife adjascent seats. Your seat number is 14A...See More »
A rugby player was hurt very badlyduring a scrum and he had both of his ears ripped off... Since he was permanently disfigured, he decided to give up playing rugby for good. His club and insurance company ensured that a large sum of money went his way. One day, he decided to invest...See More »
A woman goes through border control on her bicyclewith two panniers filled with sand. The border guard was suspicious about it and searched through the sand, but couldn’t find anything hidden, so he had to let her through. The next day, the same woman passes by, again riding a bike with two bags...See More »
I love the feeling of sun on my skin but………..Lounging outside on a cloudy, humid day last Thursday I became fully aware of the sun's burning rays penetrating the cloud cover and having experienced seven minor operations for melanomas does make one wary. I reflect back on the many hundreds of...See More »
So who are your SW friendsI read the posts and wonder who you really are behind that mask of anonymity, be it actress, sportsman, funeral director, nurse, politician, housewife, priest, whatever, it doesn't really matter. We are here on SW for a purpose and therefore tend...See More »
A blonde and a lawyer are on a planeAnd they’re sitting next to each other. The lawyer gets bored and decides to play a game. He asks the blonde to join. The lawyer says “we’ll each ask each other a trivia question. If you get it right, you earn $5. If you get it wrong, the other...See More »
Worthy of another readI swear that this is a true Bundy Rum Fishing Story.................. BUNDY RUM (Bundaberg Rum)...Queensland's famous product! Forget Jamaica or any other rubbish! (For you o/seas people..a King Brown is one of the deadliest snakes on earth. Out...See More »
Incredibly generous church weekly offeringOne Sunday, when counting the money in the weekly offering, the Pastor of a small church found a pink envelope containing $1,000. It happened again the next week! The following Sunday, he watched as the offering was collected and saw an elderly woman...See More »
The new zoo jobA bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks. First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does this a huge fish jumps out and bites him. To show who is boss, he beats it to death with a spade. Realizing his employer won't...See More »
It's hard to beat Israeli technology! TEL AVIV, Israel - The Israelis are developing an airport security device that eliminates the privacy concerns that come with full-body scanners. It's an armoured booth you step into that will not X-ray you, but will detonate any...See More »
Old jokes never dieSeveral centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He'd have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish...See More »
Avoiding fast foodA middle-aged married couple live in a small house on the beach. One afternoon they get into a huge fight. The woman says to the man, "I'm so angry I can't even stand to look at you right now," and hands him a large bucket. "Go down to the beach and...See More »
Why Men Are Just Happier People --What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack... You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park....See More »
To my darling husband, I just wanted to let you know before you return from your overseas trip I had a small accident with the truck in the garage when I was coming back from Target. Luckily not to bad and I really didn’t get hurt at all, so don’t worry I am ok. Your...See More »
Old one but too brilliant not to shareA lady died this past January, and the Royal Bank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and Then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had Been $0.00, now is somewhere around...See More »
It must be a scamI just got a text message saying "Congratulations you are the winner of the Elvis tribute competition. You have a choice of two prizes you can take, Option 1 is £50.00 Option 2 is for 2 tickets to an Elvis tribute concert To make your choice text...See More »
My Honda Clarity + some EV puns There is a lady at work who...you often hear her say "Bless her heart." She says my Honda Clarity it is pretty. I tell her that it is both electric or gasoline. She asks if it has an exhaust pipe. I tell her "yes." She asks what comes out the...See More »
I didn’t get this joke from a couple of centuries ago until ….lol“A Country Farmer going cross his Grounds in the Dusk of the Evening, spy’d a young Fellow and a Lady, very busy near a five Bar Gate, in one of his Fields, and calling to them to know what they were about, said the young Man no Harm, Farmer, we are...See More »
Paddy and MickPaddy was walking down a street when he saw his buddy Mick driving a brand new Mercedes. Mick pulled up to him with a wide grin. "Mick, where'd you get that car?" "Sue gave it to me" Mick replied. "She gave it to you? I knew she was kinda sweet on...See More »
Children are quickTEACHER: Why are you late? STUDENT: Class started before I got here. ____________________________________ TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables....See More »
Directions Required + lesson learned Donovan was waiting for his mother to come out of Morrisons Store. As he waited, he was approached by a man who asked, "Son, can You tell me where the Post Office is?" Donovan replied, "Sure! Just go straight down this street and at the end turn to...See More »
Don’t mess with her. I Really Like This One.A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father’s new, young wife had bought the exact same dress as her mother! Jennifer asked her father’s new young wife to exchange it, but she refused. ”Absolutely not! I look like a million bucks...See More »