Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds for FREE »

I Was Molested - and I Never Told

It has always made me feel guilty. Idk I guess maybe I think its my fault somehow. It happened for a long time when I was younger but I never had the nerve to tell anyone. I still wonder if it would have been different if i had.
I was eleven and it was my friend’s father. I never told either, because I knew my parents would never let me see her again. So I resolved that we’d only have sleepovers at my home, and never saw him after that. In high school she and I drifted apart. I later wondered how safe [b]she[/b] had been with him..
@Eddiesolds Thank you. I wondered about that, too. I think it was someone I subsequently blocked. 🤗
Eddiesolds · 61-69, M
@bijouxbroussard Such a sad world we live in. Laughing at people that are suffering. Such a sicko!!
Eddiesolds · 61-69, M
@greenmountaingal Im all for it!!
[b][c=666666]First of all this is like PTSD. You may have that. I had it before and the way I got free of it was to tell myself the truth! You must tell yourself the truth. You were victimized here. Tell yourself the truth and KEEP telling yourself the truth. Every time you get a thought in your head that it was your fault, when subconsciously you know it was not, tell yourself the truth and refuse to believe a lie. The truth is what will set you free. What is the truth?

Did you purposely go to meet him, only to be abused? NO!

Did you give him permission to touch you? NO!

Did you tell him to touch you? NO!

Did you want him to touch you? NO!

Now that you know the truth, you can stop blaming yourself and punishing yourself for not knowing what to do at that time. You were not a volunteer. You were a victim. You were victimIZED! There's no way it could have been your fault. If you don't tell yourself the truth, guilt will eat at you, but now that you know the truth, you can kick guilt out the door! It does not have to control you, if you do not allow it. Don't give it permission to haunt you. You were very young and at that age your mind is not equipped to handle or process adult activities. So you were confused and scared and you didn't know what to do. That's normal.

That's the way it happens with any child. And it bothers you more because you had no closure to it and you didn't know how since you were afraid to tell, but you definitely did not bring this on yourself. You know it is not something you would have wanted for yourself had you had the chance to choose, so there's no way it could be your fault. Victims never ask to be victimized or abused. It's just not done that's why they're called "victims". There's nothing a child can do to fight off a molester. They are simply not physically or emotionally equipped to do that. And that little voice that keeps whispering in your ear that it was your fault, you know is a liar. If you have to scream out at it until it's so and to leave you alone for good. This is not something you need in your life, for the rest of your life.

The very first thing you need to do right now, first chance, which will help you get more closure, is to expose this evil monster. And you shouldn't be the one afraid to do it because you're not the sick pervert here. It is time that your voice be heard! I would be very angry if I were you. The very next thing you should do is either go to the police or to a counselor but I would prefer the police but I know this is embarrassing for you though it was not your fault, but if you won't go to the police, go to a counselor right away and get Justice for yourself. You didn't deserve this.[/c][/b]

[b][c=666666]The sooner the better. Now is your time to be heard and voice your hurts. Your feelings need to be validated, so you know you are not alone in this. We'll all back you up and the counselor will back you up and we all believe you and we are rooting for you and praying for you. Be strong and courageous and do what is right for yourself, as no one deserves it more than you. I'm always here if you want to pm me and vent or just simply have a talk about anything. The more you talk about this, the more you will heal. It's time to break the silence and I know you are strong enough to do this. You don't have to let this hurt you anymore. It's time to fight back and be heard. ~ Love, Grace ❤ "Hugs"[/c][/b]

greenmountaingal · 70-79, F
@LadyGrace Thank you for your support. But I am now 77 years old. My molester was in his 30s at the time it happened and is likely not alive anymore. I wasn't guilty about it then and I'm not now. It was just one of many bad rxperiences in my very miserable childhood.
greenmountaingal · 70-79, F
There are a lot of things in every life that could've been handled better. But we can't live in the past. Best to apply the lessons we've learned to our present and future. And forgive ourselves for what we cannot change.
greenmountaingal · 70-79, F
@greenmountaingal Good comment. Thank you.
greenmountaingal · 70-79, F
When I was 10 years old, a teacher at my school molested me (and another girl in my class). I DID tell and nothing much was done about it. And I was sternly told to shut up about it and never discuss it again with anybody. To the school's credit, the teacher was fired. I assume he just got a job at another school and went right on molesting girls. I had nightmares about him for several years.
This comment is hidden. Show Comment
@greenmountaingal Only a sick, perverted troll would laugh at that. Block him. I'm so glad that teacher got fired but that's not near enough punishment for him.
likesnatural · 70-79, M
@greenmountaingal I am sorry that happened to you. It is unfortunate that adults would rather sweep it under The rug rather than face it in public. That happens way to often.
gdon39 · 41-45, M
I never told either. Not until a couple of years ago and I don’t know how telling would have changed my situation
I was from the age of 6 until I was 10 by a neighbor. He moved away when I was 10 . I never told my parents .to be honest I didn't know what had happened was a bad thing because my parents never had that " good touch bad touch " talk . It wasn't until I was 15 that I had realized what had happened was basically child abuse . I thought he was my boyfriend when I was a little kid . You don't know what you don't know . It's so messed up.
courtney0380 · 36-40, F
Sometimes it is better not to say anything
Montanaman · M
@HootyTheNightOwl i get that. I feel that silence is torture. Being trapped in a forever hell. 🤗
@Montanaman Even if you "do everything right"... the police are reluctant to place you in a place of safety.

If you speak out, they just send you back to the Hell that you came from - how is that any better???

I did everything right... I escaped... I called the police... I told - yet, I'm still in the Hell hole I escaped from that night.

Talking certainly didn't help me when the choice I got was to go back or to go to the town where my abuser lived between the ages of 18 and 38. Yes, he knows that area better than me - and he has friends in that area.

How is this keeping me safe and protected???
Montanaman · M
@HootyTheNightOwl for that, i am sorry. 🤗
iamonfire696 · 41-45, F
It started at 5 and this man worked on my grandpa’s farm so he was trusted. My dad and grandpa would leave me alone with him while they went to fix things.

What makes it worse is this man did the same thing to my mother from the age of 2 years to 15 years old. She never told and knew my dad left me with him.

This man lives across the street from me. I can look out my window and see him in his yard.
iamonfire696 · 41-45, F
@Montanaman there was a time I wanted to run him over with my car because he ruined my childhood. Not only because of what he did to me.

But because of what he did to my mother. She was an alcoholic. Up until my age of 12 she was drunk and would get abusive. As she got older he would give her alcohol and she didn’t stop drinking.

He’s getting really old and has cancer and he’s suffering so I won’t lie but that makes me happy that he gets to suffer in this lifetime.

This is why I think lots of men are garbage and they prove it everyday here for sure.
Montanaman · M
@iamonfire696 i understand. 😞🤗🤗💔❤️
likesnatural · 70-79, M
@iamonfire696 Very sorry you had to experience that bad stuff. I hope things are better.
I never told anyone either. Had a profound effect on my sexual development.
I don’t know how different things might have been but I do know that it wasn’t my fault just as I hope that you know that it wasn’t your fault either. 🤗
This comment is hidden. Show Comment
Montanaman · M
@Onestarlitnight I'm sorry. There are evil women in the world too.😞🤗
kodiac · 22-25, M
@Onestarlitnight The not telling drove me crazy .Knowing they were still molesting so after 5 years i told ,went to court but the catholic church won as usual and there was no justice.
Gangstress · 41-45, F
I never told either x
Bklynbadboy12 · 31-35, M
@Gangstress Damn im so sorry tou had to go through that
Rainandforest · 22-25, F
I was also sexually harrassed but i never openly talk about it
11knaves11 · 41-45, M
This was a very brave thing to admit. Thank you for your courage🤞
Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F
It's not your fault and I am sorry that happened to you
Zeusdelight · 61-69, M
I am so sorry for the messages I have previously posted to you.

None of what happened to you was your fault in any way.

You had a powerful adult using you and telling you to do things (even if it didn't feel that way). He was only after what he wanted. Unfortunately, he chose to sue you and didn;t care about the consequences for you.
Rhode57 · 56-60, M
I am so sorry this happened to you . Please talk to someone or it will affect the rest of your life . Someone qualified in mental health who can advise you on how to cope and put this behind you and have a happy future .
dragon21 · C
That is sad. You must seek help and prevent it from affecting your relationships. Talk to someone on one of the help lines please.
2ndtimeguy · 61-69, M
Therapy does work pleasee try it i know!
This comment is hidden. Show Comment
@SallyC damn that is not cool 😒 sorry
Bklynbadboy12 · 31-35, M
@SallyC Damn im so sorry you had to go through that. Did he go to jail
Bklynbadboy12 · 31-35, M
Don't do that to yourself that's definitely not your fault. You was young child that's all on him he's a sick Individual
Bklynbadboy12 · 31-35, M
First of its definitely not your fault and it will make a difference
Cosquinfeather22 · 18-21, F
Im so sorry you went through that.
When I was a little girl, I had an incident. Like you, I felt guilt and shame. That kept me from saying anything for years. It's normal to feel that way, especially when you're too young to understand everything. You were confused and innocent. You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. You are precious, and will grow into an beautiful, strong young woman with the knowledge and power to protect others from ever experiencing the same thing. Never doubt yourself, your inner strength, or your worth. You may not be able to change the past, but you have the power to make your present and your future anything you aim for :) *hugs*
Mmiker · M
@cherryxblossom: that was so nice the way you said that.
[c=#BF0080]It's never your fault.. ever. It's completely normal to feel that way though.[/c]
LanceVance · M
Victims often blame themselves. It is why people get away with it. But you never were at fault.
This comment is hidden. Show Comment
MartaSpain · 36-40, F
It was not your fault, never blame yourself for that.
It's not your fault. And you have nothing to be ashamed of. What could have, should have been is in the past. Try to get help for your today and tomorrow. Sorry for what you had to go through.
greenmountaingal · 70-79, F
What she went through is, at her current age, not that far in the past. Someone who molested children is likely out there and continuing to hurt other children. Speaking to a counselor or therapist would be a good first step.
OlderDude · 61-69, M
Ok. Your doing ok. Know this, your not damaged goods, your a precious young girl who has strength you dont even know. And the process now, is to remove the control that this event has over you. Take back that control that your dad took away. Hes no longer your authority.
You deserve the best in life now. Look in the mirror, and tell yourself that your ok, and your beautiful and things are going to be ok.
Had you told the right people, I think things could have been different for YOU, maybe not for the one or ones who molested you. But through therapy, you could come to see you're not guilty for anything and it wasn't your fault.
NiteRaven93 · 26-30, M
Sorry you had to go through that. It's hard to deal with. I know because I was molested when I was just 14. I still haven't told anyone either.
This comment is hidden. Show Comment
HenryQuelch · 70-79, M
Kimber it is the job of parents to provide support and direction for their children. Your father betrayed the trust children should have in their parents. My uncle sexually abused his daughter (my cousin) - it is never the fault of the child, it is always the fault of the adult - my cousin eventually told her mum when an adult. If you can find somebody whom you feel you can trust, and can talk to, I think it will be helpful for you. Take care of yourself - regards Henry
Razoreye001 · 26-30, M
If you ever need to talk I'm here for you, sorry that happened to you.
Khenpal1 · M
Seems you were too young to tell others , so you did right thing.
That's horrible that something like that would happen to anybody, especially a sweet beautiful girl like you. It's normal to feel guilty but hopefully you understand that no matter what u feel it wasn't ur fault! I'm sure you'll get thru it and come out stronger for it. I'm always here if you'd like to chat or talk about anything or vent... just lemme know *hugs*
StepDad2 · 36-40, M
It's not your fault.

I don't know if it would have made a big difference in your life but sharing sometimes helps to erase bad memories.
Common for victims to blame themselves, not your fault. Things would be different if you told but maybe not better.
Livingwell · 61-69, M
Really sorry to hear this. It's never too late for your justice. They stole something from you and left a scar.
rfhh1959 · 61-69, M
I was also (family friend) and spoke of it for the first time five years ago
Krazykatie · 31-35, F
I can completely relate to that
@Confusedcutie:me too
This comment is hidden. Show Comment
Thatgayboy · 22-25, M
That was mean. You know unless you have some sort of experience like this, how about you don't be a jerk and don't say things about something that you don't know anything about.
greenmountaingal · 70-79, F
"Bragging? Own your...?"
It matters. And it's not her fault.
This comment is hidden. Show Comment
Skilllickous · 51-55, M
You should have. But at ur age To whome !!!
Allthingscurious · 41-45, M
I never told anyone what happened to me and that was 36 years ago. I’m not sure how different things would be had I told someone but I try not to dwell on that, I just try and do what I did most of my life and forget about it.
By male or female mine was a male I was 7
@Montanaman oh yeah big time it’s ruined my marriage ruined my wife
Montanaman · M
@SW-User I worked through mine
@Montanaman I still watch porn because of it but not like I used to it’s my soothing thing my shrink says
M3JollyMiles · 31-35, M
Sorry to hear about your suffering, dear. You should have voiced it out to either law and order authorities or your parents at least!...😔...Hugs!...🤗
htoad34 · 36-40, M
Hey Kim, we talked on EP about what happened. You are welcome to PM me if you want someone to talk to.
EnglishLitLover · 56-60, M
Tell someone now .... someone you trust ... but share it and don't let it burden you ... you are innocent! x
It wasnt your fault at all do not feel that way I'm sorry you had to go through that too
496sbc · 36-40, M
Always tell someone. Never be silent about what happened to u

Post Comment
945 people following
Personal Stories, Advice, and Support
New Post
Associated Groups Forum Members