@PoetryNEmotionsounds like that quote resonated? Well thats why I repeated...yeah its a vast generalization, but feels like something many people also feel and can relate to...and of course sex and gender are not necessarily the same and can be closer or not as close for any individual

@PoetryNEmotion important point that falling in love with potential.stuff..but isnt that what makes women women...their grasp of potential in motherhood for instance? Or maybe a grand or not so grand vision or concept of a healthier world in need of actualization and yada.....??

@Ohplease47 No. Falling in love with potential is not what makes women women. Falling in love with a partner is not the same as loving one's child. Totally different. Without bonding, a woman cannot be a good mother. I do not engage in generalizations. Reality is reality. Just like I hear people comment that falling in love is not a choice. It is. One can turn away from love. It is a conscious choice.

@CrazyMusicLover I know, its impossible to relate smoothly to gender and sexual stereotypes esp today omg.....and for so many things that have become very unflexjble...or uber flexible in every way....so its a loaded question maybe an unfair one. It just struck me as a deep divide between approaches to life that might nevertheless be gently laid over us like a spare blanket from the family closet..on a very cold nite...

@Ohplease47 If we stick to stereotypes, I'd say that young people have high expectations from love and higher tendency to idealize others and are much more easily hurt emotionally, both men and women, but for older people there's also the material aspect in it. Everyone needs to fend for oneself some way and picking a partner poses certain risks. For example, if you think of a man whose motivation to work really hard, take 2 jobs, work abroad is primarily to be able to marry a girl he loves and imagines future with, building a house and have children with and then she would reject him...isn't that building a life around one's dream about love? He could say to himself: "I could have just work one job and spend my free time on my hobby instead of saving for a house and to impress this person." I think you can tell a lot by how people react in such situations. If they crumble and fall into depression, quit a job or drop out of school, abandon their hobbies, it's a good indicator that their primary motivation was to impress their partner to achieve their dream love, not to work primarily on themselves because it was something that they were genuinely interested in and wanted to do no matter what.

For women there might be the fear of aging and becoming too unattractive to men to be loved or at least lusted after at all or missing the time when it would be appropriate to have a child, which is the theme of its own because that's another type of love that for some can entirely replace the love for a man. So if a woman goes through a break up after many years, she might think: "I lost so much time with this person while I could have been with someone else and already have a child and now it'll take so much time to get to know someone else and before it happens I'll be too old for a child." In that case though one might wonder if that big dream is the man's love at all or if she just needs it in order to reach the love for her child. Technically, if the main purpose was obtaining a man's love, then it should work at any age, no? And if she is incapable of finding a partner due to her older age despite having a pleasant personality, then it would prove that for men it has always only been about lust, not love.

Anyway, I think everyone who thinks about love at all has at least some idea of the ideal relationship. I interpret your initial question as that if women perhaps daydream more about such topics and therefore build a rather detailed image of the ideal love whether they decide to actively chase it or not, whereas men maybe focus more on what is right in front of them and go with the flow without comparing a potential partner to some dreamt-up ideal girl or expecting some particular treatment from them. More in "this is fine as well" way.
I am definitely that type of woman but as for men, we would have to ask them how do they have it.

@CrazyMusicLover Maybe its really about archetypes not stereotypes. Some of the sweetest men are dreamers and some women want that because they do that as well. So they are spiritually gay I guess...funny image but hey... Then there is the undifferentiated archetype..u know the image of being stuck to your source, your parents, staying too unified with your origin, and maybe the parental architype needs to complement that for love to happen. Have 2 think about this more...

@Convivial moulding or moulting?😆

@Ohplease47 depends on the season ;)

@stayfickle find a guy and mold him...never works. But women like me fall into that. Power struggle? Why look for love when more personal power is the true path to serenity

@Cloud7593 men seem to be more brittle that way when they get broken...they are fierce for mommy back and deny it more fiercely. Apologies to the generalization nazis here, my compassion is strong around all this. Trust me.

@in10RjFox That is just stating a fact. That is not a complaint from my part.

And again you drag here something I never said. Where did I say I don't invest into my time into a person I'm interested in? I said I don't want others to be interested in me if I am not interested and not attracted to them. It's just a burden and a source of stress because I don't know when will some scorned individual snap and cause drama or try to hurt me.

By the way, what you said is disgusting.


What do you think? That you're doing the person some favour by lying to them that you love them if they see you as the right partner and you just use them as some temporary tool to unload into? Before you find the right one? That's disgusting and immoral on your part.

@CrazyMusicLover the problem with you is that you only see the negative side of everything but not the positive side. Could be the reason why you were unable to trust anyone.


It's those infatuated folks who say "I love you" like an entry card, as they know that they can't get in without using the password.

I have never said I love you to any of my lover, but I have made them love me, by showing them what true love is.

And there is no such thing as a right one. Ask anyone, and they would have contemplated before offering/ accepting love.

@in10RjFox most girls I ever knew dreamed of a classless society

@zonavar68 thats so sad!

@Ohplease47 thats not even that half of it

@Ohplease47 would not mind chatting i sent u a msg if u wana

@caccoon i love your saying thats probably true 4 me too

@BlueVeins maybe so, but on purely physical terms, mens behavior can be so.
..i dunno know...wrong. lol