I don't think you'll lose her for being honest if you say it in a kind and loving way whatever you have to say. But she really shouldn't keep nagging you about it. Is she overweight and is it possible that she knows how that feels and how limiting that can be and so she's telling you so you don't suffer that? But you're right. I'm sure she means well. Sometimes people just don't think but I'm sorry this happened to you. Since you don't get to see each other that often, maybe you can let it slide and try to heal from it? But then again that's not being honest with yourself. I think when we're bruised from people, we do need to address it If we're honest with ourselves and love ourselves. Perhaps sit down when you're calm, happy and not anxious, and create a letter that is kind and understanding, but yet let her know how her words affected you. She sounds like a very loving friend/cousin, and if she is then she will understand and she will especially go out of her way not to say that again, knowing how it hurts your feelings. When you tell her how her words affected your feelings, then you're not attacking her "person", if you know what I mean. It's a much more effective way to let someone know that their words or actions did hurt without slamming the person. That's good communication and respect. I think she meant well cuz she was worried about you and don't want to lose you, it's just that her communication skills need brushing up. I hope this all works out well for you and I truly believe it will. I'm sorry you got hurt. That's understandable. I hope you heal soon and by being able to voice your honest opinion, a letter to her would really help you heal.
